The Life She Was Given

“Thanks,” she said. “And I’m coming over here later anyway, so I’ll help if you still need it.”

A half hour later, she sat at a vanity inside the women’s dressing tent, fanning herself and holding up her hair while Dolly the World’s Most Beautiful Fat Woman fastened the clasps of her six-stranded pearl choker. The choker and pearl earrings were costume jewelry, designed to match the pearl barrettes in her hair, but Merrick reminded her every chance he got not to break or lose them. Dolly finished fastening the necklace, then collapsed in a chair and wiped a chubby forearm over her dripping face.

“God Almighty, I’m sweatin’ like a whore in church,” she said.

Merrick pulled aside the tent flap and stuck in his head. “Move it, Lilly, the rubes are gettin’ restless. We’ve got to open the doors!”

Lilly sighed. “I’ll be right there.” She looked in the mirror to check her hair and jewelry. As usual, Glory had outdone herself. Lilly’s hair was coiffed high and smooth on top and pulled back on the sides, with fine white wisps curling at her temples and ears, the rest hanging in perfect ringlets down her back. Her white chiffon and satin dress enhanced the illusion of an ethereal creature not of this earth. She dabbed the sweat from her brow with a handkerchief, stood, and started toward the exit.

“Thanks for the help, Dolly,” she said.

Dolly waved her away. “Anytime. Go get ’em, hon.”

From the dressing tent, Lilly followed Merrick across the back lot to The Albino Medium’s tent. When they passed the end of the midway near the freak-show marquee, she caught sight of a figure dressed in black, sitting on the platform out front with a sack over its head.

“Is that a new draw?” she asked Merrick.

“Yeah, Mr. Barlow thinks it’ll pique curiosity if the professor says we’re gonna unveil a freak in the ten-in-one that’s not advertised on the front of the show. For an extra charge of course.”

“What is it?”

“A half-and-half, the biggest drawing gaff ever to work a midway.”

She gaped at him. “You mean a half man, half woman?”

“Yup, but like you, it’s as phony as a three-dollar bill.”

Lilly wondered briefly if pretending to be a half-and-half would be easier than lying to people about their late loved ones. But being a half-and-half meant showing your private parts to the rubes, and she wouldn’t want to do that either. She entered her tent and took her place in the chair. Merrick made sure Pierre had everything he needed inside the wardrobe, checked to make sure the “spirit baby” attached to the underside of the table was working, then went out to wait for the first list of names from Alana.

A short time later, the entrance opened, the curtain pulled to the side, and the first rube came into the tent. Over the next few hours, Lilly pretended to speak to the dead while Pierre rang the bell or played the harmonica and tambourine inside the wardrobe. By noon, the inside of the tent felt like an oven and rivers of sweat dripped down her back. On her lunch break, she undressed in the dressing tent and rinsed off with a fresh bucket of water, making a mental note to thank Cole for it later. After her break, a bearded man in a newsboy cap, white shirt, and bow tie entered her tent and sat down, his hands in his lap. He was smirking, as if trying not to laugh. Lilly tensed, sensing trouble. The majority of the rubes who came in looked scared, nervous, or heartbroken. She’d never seen one this happy.

“Sure is hot today,” the man said in a low, guttural voice. “And from what I hear it’s not letting up anytime soon!”

“Yes, it is warm,” she said. Then she cleared her throat and began her pitch. “Hello and welcome. Before we begin, let me tell you a little bit about what I do. I’ve been communicating with the dead since the age of four and eventually came to realize I needed to share my gift. Messages from the beyond can come in the form of music, voices, and other sounds. What I’d like you to do now is close your eyes and think about the person you’re hoping to hear from. As you’re doing that, I will try to connect with the spirit world. I’ll ask you some questions, to which you must answer either yes or no. Are you ready?”

The man grinned and said nothing.

Then he leaned forward slightly and the candle flames flickered in his cobalt blue eyes. Lilly lowered her gaze to the table, trying to hide her smile. She’d recognize the eyes of her best friend anywhere. It was Cole, in a fake beard and someone else’s clothes.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered. Then, so Pierre would hear, “Is there someone special you’re trying to reach today?”

Cole screwed up his mouth, trying to come up with an answer. Lilly worried he wouldn’t remember the name he’d given Alana while waiting in line. Then, finally, he said a little too loudly, “Yes, I’m hoping to hear from my first cousin twice removed. It’s very important and I miss him something terrible.” Then he whispered, “There’s a farm pond beyond the trees in the field on the other side of the train. I’m taking the bulls over there tonight to cool off. You in?”

Lilly drew in a quiet breath and tried to keep up the charade so Pierre wouldn’t get suspicious. “Please close your eyes and let’s begin.” She paused for a long moment and, trying not to laugh, said in a serious voice, “There is a visitor here . . . this visitor has a message for you. I don’t know, I can’t be sure, but he seems to be a relative of yours, not a close one. The two of you were good friends. Do you understand this?”

“Yes,” Cole said.

“I can feel his presence,” Lilly said. “It’s very strong.” Then, louder, “We invite whoever is here to join us. We’re not here to harm you. We’re here with the utmost respect for you and any spirits who might be with you. Please try to give us some sort of sign that you’re near. Can you make a noise to let us know you hear us?”

Pierre knocked three times on the wardrobe door.

“What was that?” Cole said.

Lilly pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. “It’s a sign from someone on the other side,” she said. “Oh . . . hold on just a moment. I’m getting a name. Is it Frank? Fred? No, it’s . . . it’s Ferdinand. Do you recognize this name?”

“Yes,” Cole said. “That’s my cousin!” He winked at her.

Lilly smiled. “Ferdinand wants you to know he acknowledges your summons. But you need to be careful. Does that make sense to you?”

“Yes,” Cole said. “Yes, it does. What else does he want to tell me?”

“Shh . . .” Lilly said. She closed her eyes. “Give me a moment.”

“All right.”

“He’s saying something about your usual place,” she said. “Something about meeting at midnight.” She opened her eyes. “Do you understand that?”

“Yes!” Cole said.

“He wants to know if this pleases you,” she said.

“Indeed,” Cole said, his smile lighting up his face. “It pleases me very much.”

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