Julia stared at the letter for what seemed like forever, trying to let the words sink in. Mother had been dead for a year. And she was the sole heir to Blackwood Manor. She started to shake, shocked and slightly saddened that her mother was gone—had died nearly a year ago in fact—and she had no idea. Weren’t family members supposed to know when a relative died? Weren’t they supposed to feel a sudden, tremendous loss when a loved one passed from this earth? Then she remembered she had been swimming with friends when her father died. She had felt happy and carefree, ignorant of the fact that the one person who seemed to love her had been killed in a car crash. Maybe family members only sensed one another’s passing when they shared genuine love and true affection.
Her eyes flooded. She was officially an orphan now. Her mother and father were gone. And yet, she grieved something else even more—a loving family. But how could you miss something you never had?
Someone knocked on the restroom door. “You in there?” It was Sheila.
“Be right out,” Julia said.
She wiped her cheeks, put the letter back in the envelope, and stood on rubbery legs. She stuffed the envelope in her apron pocket and looked at herself in the cracked mirror above the sink. How could she return to Blackwood Manor, with its bad memories and closely guarded secrets? Then again, how could she stay here?
CHAPTER 5
LILLY
Following the moon-faced man, Viktor the monster held Lilly to his chest, his sweaty hand clamped over her mouth, and carried her toward the train. Lilly kicked and twisted and tried to scream, but she could hardly breathe and she was starting to grow weak. The monster held her tighter. When they reached the train, he hauled her up a set of steps between two boxcars and waited. An oil lamp hung from a hook outside the boxcar door. The moon-faced man took the lamp from the hook, slid open the entrance, and led them inside. Goats and llamas filled the pens on one side of the car, and bales of hay and stacks of burlap bags lined the other.
Viktor followed the moon-faced man to the end of the aisle and waited for him to open a metal cage. When he loosened his hand over her mouth and bent over to push her inside, she bit down on his palm as hard as she could. He yelled and let go. She twisted in his arms and almost got away, but the moon-faced man grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and shoved her into the cage. She stumbled, fell, and landed on her hands and knees. Viktor slammed the door shut and the moon-faced man locked it with a padlock, swearing under his breath.
Filthy straw lined the bottom of the cage, and a horrible smell filled her nostrils. She scrambled on her knees over to the door and hooked her fingers through the bars, wheezing and gasping for air.
“Let me out!” she screamed.
“Sorry, sugar,” the moon-faced man said. “I just paid hard-earned money for you. And in case you haven’t figured it out yet, you belong to me now.”
“Please!” she cried. “I want to go home!”
He laughed. “You are home, and I’m your legal guardian now.”
Lilly gagged and tried to catch her breath. This had to be a nightmare. It had to be. Why would Momma do this to her? Why? “No . . . my daddy . . . my daddy will come get me.”
“I’m afraid not, little one. Your daddy is dying and your mother signed the papers. It’s all legal.”
“That’s not true!” she said. “My father is in Pennsylvania. He’s coming back tomorrow... and when he does, he’ll be looking for me!”
“Believe what you want if it makes you feel better, but that’s not what your mother said.”
Lilly let go of the bars and slumped in the cage, too weak to sit up. “What are you . . . What are you going to do to me?”
“When I decide, you’ll be the first to know.” He picked up the oil lamp, started to walk away, and signaled Viktor to follow.
“Please,” Lilly cried. “I’m begging you. Please. Let me out.”
“Want me to stay here and keep an eye on her, boss?” Viktor said. His voice was low and gravelly, as if his throat were full of rocks.
“No,” the moon-faced man said. “She’s not going anywhere.” He made his way toward the other end of the boxcar.
Lilly screamed until she ran out of breath and her throat felt like it was on fire. The goats and llamas bleated and pawed at the insides of their stalls.
The moon-faced man came back and glared at her. “Scream all you want,” he said. “No one will hear you. And if they do, no one cares.”
He kicked the cage and disappeared down the aisle. Viktor went with him. The boxcar door opened and slammed shut, and the inside of the car was plunged into blackness. Lilly pulled in a shaky breath and screamed again, rattling the cage with her hands. She reached through the bars and yanked on the padlock with every ounce of strength she had left. It was no use. The lock was too strong. She screamed until her throat was raw, then collapsed in the straw, gasping for air. Her elbows and knees felt smeared with dirt, and the sharp tang of urine burned her nostrils. She curled up in a ball and sobbed, tears and sweat coursing down her cheeks.
For as long as she could remember, she had wanted to see the outside world. Now, she’d give anything to go back to Blackwood Manor. Please, God, she prayed. If Momma comes and gets me, I’ll do everything she says. I’ll pray ten times a day and memorize the Bible verses. I’ll get rid of my dolls and books and do whatever she wants. No more daydreaming, no more asking for a window that opens. I love Momma and I’m sorry for being bad. Please, God, please. I’ll do anything. I miss my daddy and Abby.
She pictured her cat curled up on her bed, waiting and wondering why she had left her all alone. The thought of Abby being sad and thinking she had deserted her was almost more than she could take. What would happen to Abby now? Who would feed her and love her and pet her? Not Momma. Momma didn’t like cats. Then she imagined Daddy going upstairs to surprise her with a birthday present and finding her bedroom empty. He would want to know where she was. And after Momma told him what she had done, he would race over to the circus train to rescue her.
If Momma told the truth.
If Daddy wasn’t dying.
With that thought, something turned over beneath Lilly’s rib cage, and a horrible, heavy pain exploded inside her chest. All of a sudden, she knew she was going to be sick. She turned on her side and threw up, coughing and gagging on her own vomit. She spit over and over, then wiped her mouth and lay back. Her eyelids felt heavy. Her pulse thundered in her ears. She felt dizzy, like that time Daddy had to put mustard and warm dressings on her chest for three days. Then the world spun out of control and went black.
*
A shrieking whistle startled Lilly awake. She didn’t know where she was or how long she had been sleeping.