The Life She Was Given

“Viktor is my star attraction,” the moon-faced man said. “But that’s not what you’re here for, is it? Where’s the girl?”

Momma dragged Lilly out from behind her, her mouth twisting with the effort. The moon-faced man turned on a flashlight and shined it at Lilly. She blinked and squinted, blinded by the light, then dropped her chin to her chest, breathing hard. Air squeaked and rattled in her lungs. What did the man want? And what would he do when he saw her face? Would he run away in fear, or would he try to hurt her? If she really was the devil’s spawn, maybe he’d try to kill her. Momma had told her over and over that she was only trying to protect her. Maybe she brought her here to prove why.

“Take off her coat,” the man said.

Momma yanked the coat off Lilly and let it fall to the ground.

The man shined the flashlight from the top of Lilly’s head to her feet.

“How do I know she’s really your daughter?” he said to Momma. Then he put his hand—it was fleshy and damp—beneath Lilly’s chin and lifted her face. She held her breath, unable to pull her eyes away from his, waiting to see his reaction. For what seemed like forever, she stared at him. What was he going to do? Why wasn’t he afraid? At the same time, she couldn’t help examining the face of the only person, besides Momma and Daddy, she’d ever seen up close. To her surprise, his expression remained calm. No shock or fear showed in his eyes. Maybe he was used to monsters.

“How dare you question me,” Momma said. “I signed the papers, didn’t I?”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” the man said.

“If you’re accusing me of lying,” Momma said, “I’ll leave this instant and take her with me.”

The man shut off the flashlight. “It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried passing a kid off as their own.”

“Well, I can assure you,” Momma said. “I’m telling the truth. I’m a God-fearing Christian and I—”

The moon-faced man laughed and Viktor the monster laughed with him.

“Is there something funny about that?” Momma said.

The moon-faced man waved a hand in the air, still grinning. “No, not at all. I’m sure God is happy to know you’re not lying about this girl being your daughter.” He glanced at Viktor and rolled his eyes. “I just need to know one more thing. Is your husband aware of our agreement?”

Momma nodded. “My husband is not long for this world. And Lilly has been nothing but a cross to bear since the day she was born.”

Lilly frowned at Momma. What did “not long for this world” mean? Whatever it was, it sounded bad.

The man leaned forward and fixed his eyes on Lilly’s. “Tell me the truth, little girl, or you’ll be sorry. Is this woman your mother?”

Lilly thought about saying no, but she wasn’t sure who would be more mad, the moon-faced man or Momma. She nodded once and stepped back.

“Good,” he said. “We wouldn’t want anyone accusing me of stealing you.”

Lilly’s chin quivered and she turned toward Momma, who still held her wrist in an iron grip. “Where’s my daddy?”

Momma ignored her. “Do we have a deal, then?” she said to the man.

Lilly’s chest grew tighter and she grabbed at her throat. She couldn’t get air. “Please, Momma,” she gasped between breaths. “I promise to be good . . . from now on. I’ll read the Bible and . . .”

The man grabbed Lilly’s chin and shined the flashlight in her eyes again. He squinted and turned her head from side to side, blowing his hot, sour breath over her face. Lilly tried to pull away, but couldn’t. “What’s wrong with her?” the man said. “Is she sick?”

Momma shook her head. “No, she has trouble breathing when she’s upset, that’s all. It’ll pass.”

“If she turns up dead in the next few months,” the man said, “I’ll come back for my money. And it won’t be pretty.”

“If you’re not interested,” Momma said, “the Ringling Brothers are coming to Albany next week. I’m sure they can pay more anyway.”

With that, the man scowled and let go of Lilly’s chin. He gestured once and the monster moved forward, grabbed her by the arms, and dragged her away from Momma. Lilly screamed and twisted and kicked, trying to break free.

“Momma . . . please . . . !”

Momma acted like she didn’t hear her.

“Don’t . . . touch . . . me . . . !” Lilly said. She kicked the monster’s legs as hard as she could.

He grunted, spun her around, clamped a giant hand over her mouth, and held her against his stomach, one sweaty arm across her chest. Lilly dug at his skin, trying to get him to let go. It was no use. She stared at Momma, struggling to breathe, her wide eyes filled with terror and tears.

The moon-faced man took a shiny clip from his pocket, pulled a stack of money from it, and held the money out to Momma. “It’s all there,” he said. “Count it if you want.”

“One more thing,” Momma said. “Don’t ever come back here. I’m not leasing land to any more circuses.”

“Understood.”

Momma took the money and counted it.

Lilly tried to yell and scream, to beg her mother not to leave her there, but the only noise she could make was a strangled, high-pitched wail.

Momma stood for a moment, her eyes locked on Lilly, the money in her fist. “It’s for the best,” she said, and walked away.





CHAPTER 4


JULIA

After the breakfast rush at Big Al’s Diner was over, Julia went into the restroom and locked the door. She sat on the closed toilet lid and, with trembling fingers, opened the envelope from the private investigator hired by her mother’s lawyer. The letter read:



FROM THE OFFICE OF

SCOGNAMIGLIO & CARR

ATTORNEYS AT LAW



Dear Miss Blackwood,

It is with sincere sympathy that I regret to inform you of the passing of your mother, Coralline Livingston Blackwood, on September 21, 1955. As your parents’ attorney, it is my duty to notify you that your mother’s last will and testament has been read and, as the only living child of Coralline and Howard Blackwood, you are the sole heir of their entire estate.

Blackwood Manor Horse Farm has continued to function under the careful supervision of your parents’ barn manager, Claude Miller, and a local veterinarian, Fletcher Reid. Although a number of horses were sold before your mother’s passing, it was your mother’s express wish that these men continue to be paid until you were found and could take over, or until the estate ran out of money. Fortunately, due to your father’s astute business sense and careful financial planning, your parents’ estate should be monetarily viable for many, many years. With that being said, Blackwood Manor Horse Farm is rightfully yours should you choose to claim it. However, there is one condition. To become the rightful owner of Blackwood Manor and the financial benefits included herein, you must return home and reside on the property. Please contact my office immediately so we can see to it that the proper paperwork is signed.

Thank you for your time. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Wallace Carr



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