IN the end, as she had known, Selene found herself drawn back to the infirmary; just as she had been drawn to it, years ago, when Emmanuelle was fighting her addiction to essence.
It was a foolish idea, with Asmodeus poking and prodding, looking for God knew what in the House—a weakness, per the terms of his agreement with Claire? It didn’t take that much intelligence to guess what Selene’s weakness would be.
A nurse—Bellay, the slender Fallen with the intricate tattoos—showed her into the room—which was awash with a surprising number of flowers.
To her surprise, Emmanuelle was up, reading a book; with deep, bruised circles under her eyes, and lips the pallor of watered-down paint. She didn’t look as though she’d slept at all; though Selene knew from Aragon that all she did was sleep, except for rare waking moments. On Emmanuelle’s hand, the circle was still there: fainter now, ringed with other faint circles. Aragon had frowned when he saw this, had reluctantly admitted it might be a good sign; that Emmanuelle’s sleep was that of recovery, not the first step on the long drawn-out road to death.
A good sign.
Selene didn’t have Emmanuelle’s faith, and hadn’t prayed for many, many years; but if she’d thought it could help Emmanuelle, she would have abased herself in Father Javier’s chapel, or in the privacy of her room. Except, of course, that Fallen had never been the favored of God, would never be.
Javier would berate her if she confessed to this; though she suspected he’d lost his own faith long ago. Most of them had; or, like Madeleine, had lost the conviction that God was loving and kind. Only Oris and Emmanuelle still prayed with anything like conviction. Surely God would save the worthy, those who kept the faith when all around them faltered and fell by the wayside?
And then she remembered—like a shard of ice driven deep into her heart—that Oris was dead.
“Oh. Selene,” Emmanuelle said. She took one last look at her reading and closed the book. She was good; the tremor in her fingers was almost invisible. “How are you?”
Selene breathed in through the vise on her lungs. “I should be asking you that. Bellay said you didn’t lack for visitors.”
“If visitors’ good wishes could heal, I’d already be up and about,” Emmanuelle said, with a tight smile. She pointed to a series of smudged drawings by the side of the bed. “But it was good to see the children—even though Caroline is still as impertinent as ever.” She chuckled. “One day, the little scamp is going to give me lessons on how to run my own library. I’ll look forward to it.”
Selene knew deflection when she heard it. “Emmanuelle—”
Emmanuelle shrugged. “Don’t worry about me. Aragon is hopeful. How is the House?”
Selene couldn’t help it. “Aragon hopeful? Now, that would be quite a sight. Was he smiling?”
Emmanuelle’s lips quirked up. “He might have been. You’re right, it’s quite a sight. I should have made sure I had proof.”
“Think of it for next time.” Selene took Emmanuelle’s hand, ignoring the trembling heat of fever that seemed to spread to her own hand. “The House is fine. Don’t concern yourself with that.”
“Liar.” Emmanuelle’s voice was light, as if they were merely having a conversation over tea and biscuits. “Terrible one, too. Tell me what’s happening out there.”
Selene spread her hands. Where to start? “They’ve gone. All of them, except Asmodeus. He made a pretty show of grieving, but I think we both know that’s not why he’s staying here.”
“It’s a pretty good reason,” Emmanuelle said. “And the . . . shadows?” Her voice caught a bit on those words. Selene shivered, remembering darkness, spreading behind them like pools of ink, the hint of claws and fangs; the overwhelming, reflexive fear that men must have felt, seeing eyes shining like beacons beyond their primitive campfires.
“We’ve searched the House.” Selene felt weary; out of control, for the first time in decades. Where was Morningstar when you needed him? “I haven’t found anything.” Or felt anything. “But they’re still here.”
Emmanuelle nodded. “They don’t die so easily.” She closed the book she’d been holding, carefully, as if it might break; though she was the one who looked as though she might break, if so much as breathed upon. She said, finally, “I’ve been thinking. About Philippe.”
“You—” Selene started to say Emmanuelle should rest, and then stopped.
“I can still think,” Emmanuelle said, with an amused smile. “I felt . . . hatred, when he touched me. A scream like primal pain. The shadows hate the House.”
“You felt his hatred,” Selene said. “He has no love for us.”
The House of Shattered Wings
Aliette de Bodard's books
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- The Dead House
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