And of course I saw her—the other love of my life—her fair skin transforming into bark, her hair sprouting green leaves, her eyes hardening into rivulets of sap.
Those memories brought back so much pain, you might think I would welcome the glittering plague mist descending over me.
Yet my new mortal self rebelled. I was too young to die! I hadn’t even had my first kiss! (Yes, my godly catalogue of exes was filled with more beautiful people than a Kardashian party guest list, but none of that seemed real to me.)
If I’m being totally honest, I have to confess something else: all gods fear death, even when we are not encased in mortal forms.
That may seem silly. We are immortal. But as you’ve seen, immortality can be taken away. (In my case, three stinking times.)
Gods know about fading. They know about being forgotten over the centuries. The idea of ceasing to exist altogether terrifies us. In fact—well, Zeus would not like me sharing this information, and if you tell anyone, I will deny I ever said it—but the truth is we gods are a little in awe of you mortals. You spend your whole lives knowing you will die. No matter how many friends and relatives you have, your puny existence will quickly be forgotten. How do you cope with it? Why are you not running around constantly screaming and pulling your hair out? Your bravery, I must admit, is quite admirable.
Now where was I?
Right. I was dying.
I rolled around in the mud, holding my breath. I tried to brush off the disease cloud, but it was not as easy as swatting a fly or an uppity mortal.
I caught a glimpse of Meg, playing a deadly game of tag with the third nosos, trying to keep a peach tree between herself and the spirit. She yelled something to me, but her voice seemed tinny and far away.
Somewhere to my left, the ground shook. A miniature geyser erupted from the field. Percy crawled toward it desperately. He thrust his face in the water, washing away the smoke.
My eyesight began to dim.
Percy struggled to his feet. He ripped out the source of the geyser—an irrigation pipe—and turned the water on me.
Normally I do not like being doused. Every time I go camping with Artemis, she likes to wake me up with a bucket of ice-cold water. But in this case, I didn’t mind.
The water disrupted the smoke, allowing me to roll away and gasp for air. Nearby, our two gaseous enemies re-formed as dripping wet corpses, their yellow eyes glowing with annoyance.
Meg yelled again. This time I understood her words. “GET DOWN!”
I found this inconsiderate, since I’d only just gotten up. All around the orchard, the frozen blackened remnants of the harvest were beginning to levitate.
Believe me, in four thousand years I have seen some strange things. I have seen the dreaming face of Ouranos etched in stars across the heavens, and the full fury of Typhon as he raged across the earth. I’ve seen men turn into snakes, ants turn into men, and otherwise rational people dance the macarena.
But never before had I seen an uprising of frozen fruit.
Percy and I hit the ground as peaches shot around the orchard, ricocheting off trees like eight balls, ripping through the nosoi’s cadaverous bodies. If I had been standing up, I would have been killed, but Meg simply stood there, unfazed and unhurt, as frozen dead fruit zinged around her.
All three nosoi collapsed, riddled with holes. Every piece of fruit dropped to the ground.
Percy looked up, his eyes red and puffy. “Whah jus happened?”
He sounded congested, which meant he hadn’t completely escaped the effects of the plague cloud, but at least he wasn’t dead. That was generally a good sign.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Meg, is it safe?”
She was staring in amazement at the carnage of fruit, mangled corpses, and broken tree limbs. “I—I’m not sure.”
“How’d you do thah?” Percy snuffled.
Meg looked horrified. “I didn’t! I just knew it would happen.”
One of the cadavers began to stir. It got up, wobbling on its heavily perforated legs.
“But you did doooo it,” the spirit growled. “Yooou are strong, child.”
The other two corpses rose.
“Not strong enough,” said the second nosos. “We will finish you now.”
The third spirit bared his rotten teeth. “Your guardian would be sooooo disappointed.”
Guardian? Perhaps the spirit meant me. When in doubt, I usually assumed the conversation was about me.
Meg looked as if she’d been punched in the gut. Her face paled. Her arms trembled. She stamped her foot and yelled, “NO!”
More peaches swirled into the air. This time the fruit blurred together in a fructose dust devil, until standing in front of Meg was a creature like a pudgy human toddler wearing only a linen diaper. Protruding from his back were wings made of leafy branches. His babyish face might have been cute except for the glowing green eyes and pointy fangs. The creature snarled and snapped at the air.
“Oh, no.” Percy shook his head. “I hate these things.”
The three nosoi also did not look pleased. They edged away from the snarling baby.