‘Of course I won’t. I’m just having a few days’ break, that’s all. I mean, that’s what everyone keeps telling me to do. I thought you’d be pleased.’ I load up my email account and log onto it. I glance up at Luke, who is still standing in the doorway. ‘Don’t worry, everything is fine.’
‘Hmm,’ is all Luke says, before pushing away from the doorframe and leaving the room.
Immediately he’s gone, I open a new tab and type in the website for British Airways.
The idea that has been percolating in my mind, consciously since the police turned up and took me away, but probably subconsciously a few days prior to that, has turned into a plan. There are things I need to find out about Alice.
Chapter 19
The first thing I notice when I step off the plane the following weekend at Jacksonville is the unexpected warmth. It may well be the beginning of November, but the Florida sunshine is still hitting at least seventy degrees Fahrenheit during the day and lingering into the evening.
I’ve pre-booked into a local motel, which is just a short drive away. I check my watch and calculate the time delay. It’s around teatime in the UK. I’ll get booked in and then give home a ring to speak to the girls before they go to bed. I hate the thought of being apart from them, but I know I have to do this. I can’t stay at home and let things carry on as they are. I can’t confide in anyone; everyone thinks I’m cracking up and just can’t cope with having to share my life with Alice. But little things keep niggling me.
On the flight over, I made a list of all the things that don’t add up since Alice has been here: things that have made me suspicious or question her and/or her motives and to question my own sanity.
1. The photograph being reversed.
2. Flirting with Luke.
3. The glass in my wedding photo being shattered.
4. Alice telling me Hannah broke the glass.
5. The slashing of Luke’s painting.
6. Alice wearing my clothes.
7. The photograph of Alice and Luke.
8. Daisy’s accident.
9. The story about Roma and Nathaniel.
10. Alice with Leonard outside coffee shop???
11. The missing McMillan file and rearranged appointment – hacked email account???
And then underneath in capital letters, I wrote the word…
WHY????????
Money? – Inheritance, trust fund??
Love? – Mum? Family?
Revenge? – being taken to America, Mum letting her go???
Taking over my life???!!!
I’m aware of the number of question marks on the piece of paper.
The motel room is basic, that’s all I want and I pay for it using my Visa card. I drop my rucksack onto the bed and take out my phone and call home.
It’s Mum who answers.
‘Hi, Mum, it’s me.’
‘Hello Clare,’ there’s a pause. ‘Are you all right, love?’ I can hear the concern in her voice.
‘I’m fine, Mum, honest. Please don’t worry,’ I say reassuringly. ‘Is Hannah there? And Chloe? I wanted to say goodnight to them.’
‘It’s only teatime,’ says Mum.
I quickly check myself. Mum has no idea I’m on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and in a totally different time zone. ‘I didn’t want to call too late and I wanted to catch Chloe before she went off to bed.’ Mum seems satisfied with that and I hear her calling to Hannah.
‘Hello, darling,’ I say.
‘Mummy!’
Her voice brings a smile to my face. We have a little chat about the day. How her and Chloe have been painting with Daddy at the kitchen table, which warms me to hear. Then she tells me how she and Alice made cakes this afternoon and how much Daddy loved them, which has the opposite effect.
The image of Alice in domestic harmony with Luke and the girls boots me in the stomach. ‘That’s nice,’ I force the words out. ‘Shall I say hello to Chloe now?’ I can hear her giggling in the background and I could do with the distraction from Hannah’s piece of news. Then I hear Alice’s voice.
‘Chloe, are you going to say hello to Mummy?’
I want to scream. Why is Alice with my children? Where the fuck is their father?
‘Chloe, hello. It’s Mummy.’
‘Mummy! Mummy! Alice tickling me. We had cakes. Butterfly cakes. Wiv cream.’
‘Lovely. Were they scrummy? Will you save me a cake?’ I force myself to remain upbeat. I can hear Mum’s voice in the background telling Chloe to say goodbye and to say ‘love you’. Chloe obliges and I’m grateful to Mum for the little prompt. Then she gets Hannah to say the same.
‘Love you, Mummy,’ she says.
‘I love you too. Very much.’ Mum comes back on the phone. ‘Is Luke there?’ I ask, even though as much as I want to speak to him, I don’t, in case he asks me awkward questions about Nadine, which will mean I have to tell him more lies.
‘He’s in his studio,’ says Mum. ‘He’s been moping around today, so I told him to do something creative to cheer himself up. It’s not good for the girls; all this bad atmosphere in the house.’