I slam the phone into the hands-free cradle and hit the dial button for Luke. My hands are shaking as I ram the key into the ignition and tear out of the parking space, heading towards the general hospital in Brighton. It crosses my mind that I had two brandies earlier and nothing to eat. I feel okay, just a little headache coming now. I wish I’d had that coffee. Then I remember a bottle of water in my bag and, with one hand, manage to fish it out, snapping open the sports cap and glugging the water down. It’s a bit warm, but I don’t care. Luke picks up.
‘Clare! Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been trying to get hold of you. So has Pippa. You were supposed to get the girls. Did you get any of my messages?’
He’s angry. No doubt about it but, to be fair, he’s been angry with me for a while now. ‘Yes. I’m sorry. My phone was on silent. What’s happened?’
‘Basically, you didn’t turn up for the girls after Brownies, so the Brown Owl, or whatever the fuck she’s called, phoned home. Alice had to go and get them. She took them to the park on the way back and Daisy had an accident. Fell off the climbing frame or something. Anyway, she’s broken her arm and Pippa is up the hospital with her now.’
‘Oh, God. I’m sorry. Is Hannah okay?’
‘Yes, she’s fine.’
‘Why did Alice go?’
‘She was the only one who could go.’ I detect a little apprehension in Luke’s voice.
‘Why? Where was Mum? Where were you?’
‘Your mum went out to her WI meeting and I, err, fell asleep. Alice didn’t want to wake me, so she just went straight over to Budlington.’
‘She walked?’
‘No, she took my car.’
‘Can she do that? I didn’t think she’d be insured. What if she’d had an accident?’
‘For fuck’s sake, Clare. You’re not the prosecution now. Where were you, anyway?’
‘I needed to bit of breathing space. Look, I can’t speak now, I’m nearly at the hospital. I’ll talk to you later.’ I hang up before we can take the conversation further. To tell Luke that I spent the afternoon and evening with Tom won’t go down very well. I need to be able to tell him face to face when I can explain it properly, not some hashed phone call while I’m driving and worried about Pippa and Daisy.
To say I’m persona non grata is something of an understatement. As I enter A&E and am advised by the receptionist where I can find Daisy Stent, I’ve only made it halfway down the line of cubicles when Pippa launches herself at me.
‘A bit sodding late to show up now,’ she says, not bothering to keep her voice down.
I look apologetically at one of the nurses, who glances over. Pippa’s never been one to mix her words. She says exactly what she’s thinking. It’s something that I love about her and it has caused much amusement in the past. We joke that she has no filter, but today it’s not so funny being on the receiving end of her sharp tongue.
‘Pippa, I’m so sorry. Really sorry. I got held up. My phone was on silent. Sorry.’ It sounds pathetic and I am pathetic.
‘What the hell happened? Where were you?’ Pippa’s eyes are burning with anger, but I can also see they are red from crying.
‘I had an argument at home. I needed to get out of the house. I’m sorry, Pip, honestly I am. How’s Daisy?’
‘Broken arm. Baz is in there with her. They’re going to put a cast on it in a minute.’
‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘What? I don’t think so. The only thing you had to do was to pick the girls up, but you didn’t manage that. Why the hell did Alice get them?’
‘She was the only one available.’ I don’t want to tell Pippa that Luke was asleep. It’s bad enough that one of us has failed big time at parenting. I go to offer yet another apology but am cut off by Pippa.
‘Look, Clare, we all make mistakes, I know that, but when you’re responsible for a child, someone else’s child, there’s no room for mistakes. I haven’t said anything to Baz, but before he got here, Daisy told me that Alice pushed her on purpose.’
‘What? Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Alice wouldn’t do that.’
‘You can think what you like, but Daisy doesn’t tell lies. Not about things like this, she wouldn’t. And I know all that bullshit about parents thinking their child is an angel, I know Daisy’s not, but she wouldn’t lie about something like that.’
‘Maybe she’s mistaken,’ I suggest, inwardly preparing myself to bat away more of Pippa’s wrath. Would Alice intentionally harm a child? It seems a bit much to believe and why would she do it? It just doesn’t make sense. And yet, there’s a tiny voice at the back of my mind that is challenging my thought process. It wouldn’t be the first time Alice has done something different from the perceived norm. Pippa’s reply interrupts my thoughts.
‘Daisy’s not mistaken. I asked Hannah and she just kept saying she doesn’t know what happened.’
‘Well, perhaps she doesn’t know.’ The mother in me automatically leapfrogs over my professional brain to the defence of my daughter. ‘I’m sure Hannah’s not lying.’
‘In just the same way as I’m sure Daisy isn’t. You ask Hannah and you tell me if she’s telling the truth or not.’
‘Pippa, that’s out of order. Hannah wouldn’t lie.’ I mentally cross my fingers. I’m sure all children lie at some time. ‘Not about something like this.’
‘Depends who’s applying the pressure,’ says Pippa.
‘Where are Alice and Hannah, anyway?’
‘Gone. I didn’t want her hanging around and Hannah was upset.’