It was risky to ask what he meant, but I couldn’t help being curious. “How?”
“I would never hold you down. I would never hold you back. I wouldn’t even ask you to love me. If you choose me, you can have a marriage free of conventional restraints. Make me your king, and you would be free to reign however you see fit.”
I brushed out my dress. “You would never be king.”
He tilted his head comically. “Not your type?”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s neither here nor there. Any man who married me would never be king. He would be a prince consort, as no one can hold a title higher than mine.”
“I’d take that.”
I leaned on the arm of the bench. “Out of curiosity, why make such an offer? You’re very charismatic, quite handsome. I’d assume you could have a marriage filled with happiness, which makes me wonder why you would commit yourself to one you just admitted would be loveless.”
He nodded. “That’s a fair question. Personally, I believe love to be overrated.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
“I come from a large family. Six children. I’ve managed to scrape by, but I don’t want to live that life forever. The chance at a comfortable life with an agreeable woman is better than anything else I can hope for.”
“Agreeable?” I raised an eyebrow. “Is that it?”
He chuckled. “I like you. You are yourself at all costs. I certainly don’t consider marrying a clever, beautiful, powerful woman settling. And I can offer you the means to an end if you find no one suitable in this group. Honestly, I can tell you, the majority of these guys are jokes. And you can give me something I’ve never had.”
I considered. So far the Selection hadn’t been anything I’d expected. It had opened with people assaulting me with food, complaining about my first elimination, and judging my kiss with Kile. Even though I was just figuring out that, for me, there was something inherently unappealing about getting married, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d take someone simply for the sake of making Dad happy. Every time I looked into his eyes, I was more and more aware of how tired he seemed.
I loved my dad.
But I also loved myself.
And I would have to live with me much longer.
“You don’t have to say yes or no,” Ean said, drawing me back to the moment. “I’m simply saying that I’m here if you need me.”
I nodded. “I can’t say if I’ll even consider it.” I stood. “For now let’s continue our ride. I don’t get to see my Butterscotch nearly enough.”
And we did ride for quite a while longer, but Ean didn’t speak much. It was comfortable in a way not to be burdened with the need to make conversation. Ean would take my silence gratefully. I wondered if that could last, if he would eventually tire of that kind of life.
For the time being I studied him. Handsome, proud, straightforward. His confidence didn’t hinge on my approval, and I knew I wouldn’t worry about receiving his. I could possibly be married without actually feeling like I was. . . .
He might be a very attractive suitor, indeed.
CHAPTER 22
I SENT EAN IN SHORTLY thereafter, and he didn’t protest at all, maybe proving right away that he would be as compliant as I needed him to be. It was certainly an interesting proposition, though I’d have to get much further along in this process before I could know if I’d need to use it or not.
Too soon, I had to get ready for dinner, so I put Butterscotch away and took a brush to my boots. I wasn’t terribly dirty. “Night, night,” I whispered to my horse, slipping her a piece of sugar before heading back to the palace.
“Eadlyn!” someone called as I entered the palace.
It was Kile. He was talking with Henri, Erik, Fox, and Burke. He gave the others a sign to wait for him and jogged down the hall to me.
“Hey,” he said, his crooked smile settling on his face. He looked a little nervous.
“How are you?”
“Good. I was talking with some of the guys, and we have a proposal for you.”
I sighed. “Another one?”
“Huh?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head to clear it. “Should I come speak to them now?”
“Well, yeah, but I wanted to ask you something first.”
“Sure.”
Kile stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Are we okay?”
I squinted. “Kile, you realize you’re not actually my boyfriend, right?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I do. But, I don’t know, I liked having someone to show my designs to and laugh with, and I wanted to come check on you after I heard about Jack, but I was afraid you wouldn’t want to talk about it. Then I was afraid that staying away would make you upset, too. Do you know how difficult you are?”
“I’d forget, but you keep reminding me!” I teased.
Kile fidgeted. “I’ll ease up. But seriously, are we okay?”
I watched as he bit his lip, and I had to fight myself from daydreaming about them. He said he was here for me, so I hoped, maybe, I’d get to feel those lips again.