I gasped. “She?”
“There’re a lot of women soldiers in Tresea. They fight as well as any man I’ve ever met. This one was a deserter, part of a roving band of thieves and pirates who’d managed to sail into Odalian waters, robbing and setting fire to our merchant ships. I didn’t know until much later that she hadn’t taken part in the raids we’d been tracking. The ship she’d previously been on had floundered, and they’d picked her up only the day before. She felt honor bound to fight with them, I suppose, but I still cried myself to sleep for two nights running.”
“Cry? You?” Kalen had always seemed made of stone. Emotions of any extreme seemed out of place on him.
“I wasn’t always a bastard.”
That made me giggle. “That’s hard to remember.”
“You’re holding up much better than I did.”
I sobered. “I don’t feel guilty. I feel bad that I had to kill both of them, but I also feel bad about not feeling worse about it, as I know I should. What does that make me?”
“That means you have more of a fighter’s temperament than I do.”
I snorted. “Nobody’s more of a fighter than you. You’re the bravest, strongest, most amazing man I’ve ever…”
I stopped. So did he.
“I mean, you’re all right,” I finished feebly, wanting desperately to kick myself.
“Tea.”
I froze. Kalen was looking down at me with a vulnerability I never thought possible with him.
“I think I’m going to take you up on that offer again.”
He drew nearer, and I wondered, in some part of my brain that was still functioning, how I must have looked to him. Did I look shocked? Nervous?
Eager?
“Don’t move,” he whispered. No two words had ever been so hard to obey.
His mouth hovered a few inches from mine, and I overcame the desire to close the distance. But he stopped, and I wondered if I’d misinterpreted his intentions again. But his eyes were fierce and hungry and desiring and a million other emotions all at once, and I could not look away.
He kissed me. In full view of the nobles, in full view of the emperor and anyone who wanted to see, his mouth hot against mine. He tasted like everything I wanted, and he kissed like I could reach into his heart and take everything I desired from it. I was inexperienced at this—too young in Knightscross and too busy in Ankyo, the little time in between spent daydreaming about an infatuation that paled when compared with the reality that was Kalen. But I kissed him back like I wished I could do better, like I could do better if it was always with him.
The Fox and the Hare ended. Shadi and Zoya curtsied, their fingers linking together as their captivated audience broke into applause.
Kalen stepped back. His face was expressionless, but he was breathing harder than he had during our sparring sessions, as if realizing he’d gone too far, too fast, with nothing to show but the truth of a kiss still hanging in the air between us. His heartsglass gleamed a combination of brilliant silver and warm apple red.
“I promised Zoya I’d make a few more rounds tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, Tea.”
I watched him walk away, Shadi and the emperor’s curious eyes on me the only barriers stopping me from pursuing him. It was not quite a faux pas, the kiss…but Mistress Parmina would have frowned on it all the same. I took a deep breath, trying in vain to quell the happy, nervous butterflies sprouting in my stomach, and turned back toward the throne.
And stopped. Inessa’s seat was empty.
I followed Fox’s thoughts and found her with him, away from the crowd. They swayed noiselessly on the veranda, dancing without the need for music. Inessa’s head was against my brother’s chest, her eyes closed and a small smile on her face. Fox looked down at her, his own expression unreadable.
I wanted to leave, but instead I parked myself between them and the rest of the guests, ready to sound the alarm if anyone headed their way.
“Your Majesty,” Fox said quietly, formally, “we can’t stay here for much longer.”
“I don’t want to leave.”
“Your Majesty.”
“Are we on formal terms again, Sir Fox?” Inessa let go. Her hand gripped at the neckline of her dress.
“It’s your engagement.” Fox’s tone was wooden. “Stop tugging at your collar. You’ll ruin your dress.”
“You’ve done that enough times before.” Inessa pulled harder in response.
Fox’s hand folded over hers.
“Princess Inessa!” I heard Tansoong trill from somewhere nearby, and her arm jerked up.
Something small and sparkling flew through the air, landing in a metallic clink as it hit the floor.
The princess staggered back. “I’m going,” she mumbled.
“Inessa, what—”
“Keep it!” The words rushed out with a heartbroken sound, and Inessa fled.
Fox knelt. With shaking hands, he picked up the small pin Inessa had left behind—a silhouette of a fox dotted with tiny crystals.
Princess Inessa and Lord Fox were silent when she finished. Lord Kalen had stepped out to oversee the rest of the Daanorian soldiers and Khalad had resumed his toil at his forge, bent studiously over his task.
“Princess Inessa has been good to you, Fox,” the Dark asha murmured to ease the tension. “You look like a soldier for once. A royal uniform now instead of the threadbare shirts and breeches you’re so fond of.”
“I didn’t realize you’d seen us at the party,” the princess whispered, her cheeks coloring.
“It was none of my business.”
“But your leaving was my business, and you knew it.” The Dark asha’s brother’s face gave away no emotion. “You raised monsters and invaded a kingdom, and now you fight against Inessa’s own people. Still my business, all of it.”
Her head dropped, avoiding his gaze. “I had no choice.”
“No choice?” His voice was flat, but his words were cutting. “You had a choice, but you left and gave me none. You blocked your thoughts from mine, and still I sat and waited for months because I was a fool and thought I knew you better. Do not stand here and tell me you had no choice when it was you who gave me nothing to choose between.”
“Because you didn’t believe me!” She fought back, her words coming out in quivers and hitches.
“The elders said—”
“The elders said!” the asha shouted. “The elders said! Exactly that! They are lying cowards, and yet you heeded their words over mine!”
“I saw you, Tea.” His cold facade shifted, and my heart twisted at how broken the man now sounded. “I saw you kill her.”
She trembled. “I didn’t. I couldn’t.”
“And you don’t believe me either. You don’t trust me, Tea. Because even as I stand here, you still have the Veiling rune in place between us.”
“Inessa and I shouldn’t be here,” Khalad said softly.
“No. The time for secrets is over.” The bone witch’s hands curled, held at the ready, fearful of the next fight. She closed her eyes briefly, relaxed. Some magic I could not see thrummed between them, dissipated. Lord Fox started in surprise.
“It is gone.” A queer sob, all the more strange and sad because it came from her. “I don’t know. I don’t remember. All I remember is the screaming, and even then I don’t recall if it was mine or hers. Some nights I wake up and scream still because I can see the blood on my hands. It never goes away, even with all the soap and the scrubbing. Hers is the only death you can lay at my door. If I killed her, then I will pay for that soon enough. But I killed no one else, no matter what they tell you. I swear on Kalen’s grave, Fox. I told you nothing because you hated me then, didn’t trust me—and because if you knew, they would cast you out as well. Do not deny that—I understand.