“Not from where I stand.”
“She killed people, Kalen. She raised the undead to massacre soldiers!” His voice shook. “They ate men under my watch!”
“And your men would have massacred these Daanorians if she hadn’t. What makes you any better?”
“You’ve changed since dying, Kalen. Are your feelings for my sister hindering your judgment?”
“Are your feelings for the princess hindering yours, Fox?”
They stared at each other, stubborn to the end, convinced it was the other that was wrong, like the disagreements all wars were made of.
Lord Fox moved so quickly that it took the sound of steel meeting steel for me to realize the fight had begun.
“Stop it!” Princess Inessa cried, but she was ignored. This was not the playful sparring sessions between friends that the bone witch had so fondly recalled. This was a brutal fight, waged by familiars who fought despite knowing neither one could be killed by the other.
A stroke of Lord Fox’s blade was parried; a swing of the sword by Lord Kalen was countered. It was the Deathseeker who first drew blood. A flick of his wrist and a cut appeared over the other man’s shoulder, though the latter showed no pain. Lord Kalen dealt a second blow to his side and then a third across his cheek, but Lord Fox rallied with two slices against the other man’s shin and hand.
“Enough!” The air crackled from the force of the words. Both combatants froze in midstrike. The bone witch stood by the entrance, hands fisted on either side of her. Princess Inessa stood with her, arms folded over her chest and looking just as furious.
“You’ve been practicing,” Lord Kalen said. “You’re much better than when we last fought.”
“And still I struggle to keep up with you,” Fox conceded wryly. “You’re stronger than I remember. Inessa snuck out of camp to come here,” he added in a quieter voice as they both turned to face their fuming paramours. “You were defending Tea. Why are we the ones in trouble?”
Without changing expression, the Deathseeker replied, “I don’t know.”
22
The engagement celebration would push through regardless of the army’s losses; Emperor Shifang insisted it would. “It is not the custom for the emperor to rescind his own orders,” Tansoong informed us. “He is infallible.”
“Half his army has fallen victim to someone else’s Compulsion, and he worries about his infallibility?” Zoya was in a fighting mood. Her attempts to explain the spell had fallen on deaf ears. It took all our persuasion to keep the emperor from executing the soldiers for treason, finally getting him to understand the nature of Compulsion, if barely. The only good thing to come out of this was the emperor honoring his promise to let us into the city, to finally find the old forger. Not for the first time, I cursed my inability to act then, to seize the azi and turn on these Daanorians. But the old Heartforger was still somewhere in the city, and Inessa continued to insist on diplomacy despite everything.
“There is little to be learned about Kalen’s would-be assassin,” Shadi spoke up. “His name was Leehuang, and he was a loner. What is strange is that he joined the army voluntarily instead of waiting to be conscripted, like most.”
“Did he have a family?” I asked quietly. “Children?”
Zoya and Shadi glanced at each other. “No family or friends,” the latter said gently. “It’s not your fault, Tea.”
“I killed him. Of course it is.”
“You told me he wasn’t under any Compulsion,” Zoya chimed in. “The chances that he was in league with one of the Faceless is likely. This isn’t a man who was being forced to act against his will.”
“What about the other man? The one I killed when I destroyed the seeking stone on him? Did he have family?”
“Tea…”
“Did he have family?”
“A wife and a son.”
I bowed my head. We had gathered in Khalad’s room, with Princess Inessa and Likh conspicuously absent. As the guest of honor, the Kion princess was preparing for her engagement party that night, convincing the court concubines that she needed only Likh to help her dress. Shadi and Kalen had combed through the palace, hunting for any more seeking stones in the vicinity, and came up with nothing.
Some of the dead soldier’s blood had gotten under my fingernails. I rubbed my hands frantically against the sleeve of my hua, but try as I might, I could not rid myself of it.
“Are you OK?” Fox asked me quietly.
“I’m fine.”
Do you want to talk about it?
No.
I think we should talk about it.
There is nothing to talk about.
Tea.
There isn’t!
“What about the Shaoyun boy?” Shadi asked. “The missing suitor. Any word of him?”
Zoya shook her head. “They’ve questioned his family. They haven’t heard from him in more than a year, but they also say that’s not unusual. He travels frequently and spends most of his time in the cities.”
“That makes our jobs harder. I hope the old forger’s OK. Baoyi hasn’t found any reason to think he’s injured or worse, but it’s hard to be sure when we can’t find him ourselves.”
“Inessa’s finally convinced the emperor to let us visit the city tomorrow, at least. Now that we know there are Faceless agents inside Daanoris, let’s err on the side of caution. Likh says he might know how to remove the wards.”
Everyone turned to Likh, who had just entered the room.
“It’s only a theory,” he mumbled, blushing.
“Any theory’s worth discussing at this point,” Khalad said, encouraging him.
“Well,” Likh began shyly, “the main problem is that there’s not a separate ward in each room. It’s one large ward woven throughout the castle, so I can’t undo one part of it. But without access to any runes, I don’t see how I can—”
“And that’s why I’m brilliant,” Zoya said with a grin, fishing out the seeking stone she’d taken during the savul fight. “The Unraveling rune doesn’t need as much effort to channel. We can probably muster enough magic with this to destroy the wards, as long as we focus on the one spot that will undo the whole spell.”
“I can start this instant,” Likh babbled, jumping to his feet. “It might take a few days to figure out the weakest point, so the sooner I begin, the better.”
“Don’t dismantle anything until we find the forger,” Zoya cautioned. “They might stage some new devilry if they knew what we’re doing. Khalad, go with Likh.”
“Why?” Khalad asked.
“Why?” Likh echoed.
“The forger’s good at untangling complicated spells,” Zoya told them brightly. “He’d be a big help. Get on with it already.”
“Zoya,” Shadi remonstrated. The asha shot her an innocent look.
“Usij isn’t at the Haitsa mountains then,” Kalen said suddenly after a beet-red Likh led a slightly confused Khalad out. “Everything points to him being in Santiang.”
I killed my first man when I was fifteen, Fox continued doggedly. I threw up for an hour afterward. I know how you feel, but you can’t let it take over you.
Leave me alone.
Tea, I’m only trying to help—
“Well, you’re not!”
Startled faces look back at me. “Tea?” Zoya asked.
Flushing, I scrambled to my feet. “I have to get ready for the party,” I mumbled, avoiding my brother’s gaze. “I’m going ahead.” I hurried out before anyone could stop me.
The long walk back to my room felt like it took forever, and my legs gave out the instant I reached my bed. I threw myself onto the covers and spent half an hour weeping furiously.
I’d never killed anyone before. Perhaps it was foolish of me to think I never would. Even worse, I knew I would do it all over again. I felt revulsion; I felt sick.
But I felt no remorse, not even for the poor soldier with the wife and son. With the assassin, all I could remember in those moments leading up to the kill was anger, fear that he would kill Kalen—and a curious sense of satisfaction.
Am I a bad person?
I hadn’t expected Fox to answer, given how I’d left him, but his words came quickly, wrapping around me like a warm cloak.
You worry too much about being a good person to be a bad one.