I felt Sophie move beside me and I held her back before it turned physical. “No. There’s no more thinking. There never was. My answer is no. Not maybe, but no.”
She frowned as if not understanding and then stepped forward as if to hug me. I stepped back and she recovered nicely, but not before I saw her embarrassment. I had no idea how I could be related to someone so clueless about human relationships.
“Yes, well, I guess I’ll be seeing you later. Maybe we can all go out sometime—you, too, Sophie. Have a little date night with just us couples. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
“I could straighten my hair and wear a Lily Pulitzer sundress. And heels,” Sophie managed to say with a straight face.
Rebecca’s smile dimmed for a moment, leaving me to wonder if she really did want some sort of relationship with me. We were connected by more than blood, after all.
Sophie took my arm and began leading me away. We called back a hasty good-bye and then headed in the opposite direction. Sophie spoke first. “So, what are you going to do now? Talk with Jack?”
I shook my head. “What’s the point? He’s always talking to me about sharing my problems and telling him things, and yet it’s clear he’s been hiding a lot of stuff from me.”
“True, but he was doing it to protect you.”
“Yes, well, when I ignore stuff it’s usually to protect me, too, so I guess that makes us even.” I frowned. “He could have told me we were having financial issues. I turned over the household expenses when the kids were babies because I was so overwhelmed and I haven’t been involved since because I was terrible at balancing the checkbook. I could never get the numbers to work out and Jack said it was too painful to watch. But I never would have done that if I’d known he wouldn’t have felt like he couldn’t come to me with any problems. It’s not like I don’t know how to cut expenses, or would even resent it if I had to. I thought that’s what marriages were all about—sharing everything.”
Sophie stopped to look at me and I flinched as I recognized her professor-about-to-lecture mode. “Sometimes you can be a little self-absorbed, Melanie. You’re a new mother of twins, you’re resurrecting a career, and you’re also dealing with body issues. Jack probably didn’t want to burden you. And let’s not forget the male ego here—his career and ability to be a breadwinner is very closely linked to his self-identity. It would be difficult to admit that to you.”
“Body issues? What body issues?”
“Really, Melanie? Is that all you heard?”
“Of course not,” I said, resuming walking while scanning my brain for whatever came after the words “body issues.” “Trust me, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with Jack’s male ego. I found him in a pantry embracing another woman—our children’s nanny, for crying out loud.”
We walked in silence, our jog long forgotten, until Sophie spoke again. “Is there any chance you might have misread the situation? You’re not really known to use patience to analyze a situation, so I was thinking that maybe—”
I stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at my soon-to-be-former best friend. “Et tu, Brute? And besides, weren’t you the friend who warned me about how attractive Jayne might be to Jack? Remember that—when we were walking in the park?”
“Yes, and I’m sorry about that. I didn’t really know Jayne that well at that point, and I think I misread the situation and jumped to conclusions I shouldn’t have. Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.” She tried to smile but failed. “But what I do know for sure is that you love Jack and he loves you, and I’m just asking that you think back really hard. To maybe consider that there was more to the situation than what you thought you saw.”
“I know what I saw,” I said, feeling the anger rise. “It’s kind of hard to miss your husband embracing another woman.”
“Were they kissing?”
I started to say yes, then stopped. “Not when I saw them. But his head was turned toward hers, like he was about to. Or he’d just finished.”
“So you didn’t see them kissing.”
I slowed my pace. “No. But—”
“Do you hug your children?”
“Yes, of course I do. But—”
“And Nola? And your parents?”
I stopped again in the middle of the sidewalk and faced her, an elderly man walking his dog nearly colliding with us. “Yes, you know I do. What has this got to do with Jack fooling around with our nanny?”