“I’d still like to do it.”
She hesitated and gave a curt nod. “It’ll take a bit of scheduling for you to meet with all the instructors, but it’s every girl’s right. Between you and me, in all the time I’ve done this, most girls who retake an exam only go up a few points. Miss Garrison and I currently have you placed as an amethyst, and her purple fabrics are gorgeous. It’s unlikely your score would shift enough to warrant a new theme, and would you really want one?”
“I want to retake them,” I reiterated.
“Very well. But in the meantime, we’ll still have you fitted so Miss Garrison can start on the amethyst wardrobe.”
She was right about the fabrics. Of all the ones Miss Garrison had brought, the amethyst ones were among the most beautiful. She held up swathes of lavender silk and purple velvet, clucking in approval each time.
But an amethyst girl wouldn’t give Cedric the commission he needed.
“You’ve got the coloring to pull off anything,” she remarked. “For some of the other girls, the originally planned palettes aren’t going to work.”
Mira was one such case. They’d decided her theme would be topaz, but after having her try some of the fabrics, it was clear the yellow-brown fabrics just didn’t suit her. “Deep reds are the way to go,” Miss Garrison told Mistress Masterson. The dressmaker’s gaze fell on Clara. “We could switch them—give Mira garnet.”
Jasper, observing the conversation, nodded in agreement. “It’s a little more of a common stone, so it might be fitting.”
I didn’t have a chance to be affronted by the insult to my friend because Clara’s scowl told me how much the change upset her. That made up for a lot. Afterward, I heard her mutter to Caroline, “I hate yellow. It always makes me look sickly.”
Tamsin was one of the last to complete her fittings, largely because she kept pointing out how unacceptable the blue fabric was. When she finally finished and walked up to our room with us, she muttered, “I can’t wait until the retakes put me at the top. Then they’ll see what a bad choice they made. I’d look just as good in white as green.”
I stumbled on the stairs and had to catch the railing for support. In my plan to retake the exams, I somehow hadn’t considered Tamsin. If I managed to vault myself to the top of the list, where would that put her? Her words rang in my ears: You don’t know what I have on the line.
No, I didn’t. But I knew what Cedric had on the line. His life. No matter how dire, could Tamsin really have anything comparable to that? And was it really dire? Her feelings had seemed genuine the day of the family visit, but I’d seen a lot of theatrics from her in our time together. Was her fixation to be the best just a matter of pride? A yearning for riches?
I had to choose between them. My best friend or . . . who? The man who’d helped save me? No matter where Tamsin placed, she’d have a prosperous future in Adoria. My placement could affect Cedric’s life. There was only one choice I could make.
Content with her scores and theme, Mira was able to relax in the days that followed, spending a lot of time engrossed in her beloved tome of adventures. Tamsin and I, however, endured the stress of retaking our exams as our various instructors scheduled time throughout the week among all the manors. Like Mistress Masterson, Tamsin was baffled that I’d retake all of them.
“Why would you do that?” she asked on our way to the dance exam. “You think things will change? And why would you want them to? Your clothes look great on you. Not like some of us.”
I had to look away, still feeling guilty in spite of my resolve. “I just need to see what I can do.”
Miss Hayworth met with us and Caroline, the only other girl retaking the dance exam, in the ballroom. “Same format as before. We’ll go through every single dance and see if you’ve improved.”
Tamsin had marginally improved in the step that continually gave her trouble. For some reason, the beats tripped her up. Caroline hadn’t improved at all. In fact, she did worse, but luckily, Mistress Masterson would only count the highest of her two scores.
And me? Well, I was something else altogether.
It was hard to say who among the three of them was the most astonished. I executed every dance perfectly on both technical and artistic levels, and it was a relief to finally let my true self show through. I’d spent most of the last year hiding what I could do with the fa?ade I’d created. Now, all the years of instruction and formal parties came back to me, and I actually enjoyed myself.
The other exams had similar results. As before, the written ones allowed me to conceal my answers from my housemates. But in the public tests, all my “new” skills were on display for my peers. Since no other girl was retaking every single exam, no one else really got a full sense of how well I did in each subject.