The Girl Who Dared to Think (The Girl Who Dared #1)

I grew silent and let Roark speak. I hadn’t known him long, but I didn’t have to know him long to know this was a hard story for him to tell. I was certain that whatever he was going to say, it was relevant, even if it wasn’t clear in the moment. I hoped that it meant whatever I was about to hear would help me solve my Zoe problem.

“Caduceus was twice the scientist I am. If Chief Surgeon Sage ever managed to die, I think Caduceus would have made a fine candidate for the council, after Selka, of course. Not that Scipio would ever elect a seven like him. No, but Caduceus was methodical. Smart, but considerate, which is an unusual mix for the Medica.”

He stroked his wispy beard, his expression full of distaste. “When Selka found out about the outside world, she swore me to secrecy on the subject. It would be between us, she said. We couldn’t risk people dropping in rank, running off, causing a panic. We had to keep calm, and, more importantly, keep it to ourselves.

“Thinking back, it’s easy to see why she wanted us to do so. She died, of course, and look at how I live now. Caduceus had heard about Selka dying, and showed up to beg me to let him help me with my grief, help me process, but I turned him away. And he quickly forgot about the old, dishonored man working in Cogstown.”

I continued to stare at him, and he met my gaze, his eyes sparkling brightly with unshed tears, a crooked smile on his lips.

“The man’s family is doing well. I check in from time to time. My godson has a son now, with a pretty girl he met when he was a student. The little boy shows as much promise in the medical field as his grandfather. Had I not done what I did, he would be dead, or disgraced. Do I miss him? Every day. Do I regret cutting him out of my life?”

There was a pause, and for an instant it looked like Roark was trying to convince himself of the next word.

“No,” he said.

Silence grew in the room as I considered his words. After a long time in deep thought, I shook my head and looked at him. “There are parallels, sure, but there are some drastic differences. Zoe knows I was trying to save Grey, trying to break the law. She helped me do it. Caduceus was just your friend; he didn’t know what was going on with you and Selka. Your behavior can be written off as grief—but mine? I just ran into her, Roark. She wouldn’t even talk to me, and her number is dropping. You can’t tell me that if you found out Caduceus was about to hit one tomorrow, you wouldn’t help him out. I dare you to tell me that.”

Roark folded his arms over his chest as I ranted at him, his gaze turning angry and then distant as I talked. I finished my speech and waited for him to respond.

He nodded and returned my gaze, his expression speculative. “I have to say that you do impress me, Liana. Your argument was fairly flawless. Let’s hope this girl is as good as you claim with machines. We could really use a Cog, but, surprisingly, they are the one department with the highest job satisfaction. Go figure.”

I smiled and allowed myself a moment of relief. He was going to let Zoe join us—which meant I was going to get my friend back. “Zoe is even better with machines than I said. When can I bring her here?”

“I imagine you’ll want to do it as soon as possible, so let’s say tomorrow.”

“She normally has a shift in the morning, so I’ll bring her by early in the afternoon,” I said, quivering with excitement and starting a plan in my head about what I’d say to get her down here. I knew I still had to figure out what to do with Eric—no way Zoe was going to let us leave him behind when we finally left—but for now, she was my main concern. I’d figure out how to bring Eric in later. If he started to drop, then I’d bring it up, but hopefully we’d all be long gone before that ever happened.

“Good.” Roark turned back to his work, this time lifting two test tubes filled with colored liquid—one blue and one a bright green—and pouring them into a beaker. “So I assume after this, you’ll be ending your recruitment runs with Grey.”

I looked up at him sharply, my eyebrows pulling tight together as I frowned. “No. Why would you think that?”

He shrugged. “Well, you got what you wanted: medication for your friend. You don’t have any obligation to us, and if anything, we are in your debt. So I just assumed you would—”

“You really do not get me, Roark,” I said, too tired to be incensed. “I like helping Grey. It’s the first useful thing I’ve done in my life. We might be at a fifty percent success rate right now, but I don’t care. I want to help, and I have no intention of going anywhere. Also, don’t be surprised if Zoe wants to help as well.”

A warmth washed over his features that made my stomach do a flip, and I realized that he was both relieved and pleased to hear me say that. I suddenly realized that he didn’t like feeling isolated any more than I did, and that I had more in common with Roark and Grey than I did with my own family. Here, I felt wanted, needed, and appreciated. I belonged with these misfits, just like they belonged with me. Somehow, we’d found each other, and that made us all feel a little bit safer, and a little less alone. I needed it just as much as Grey and Roark did.

I opened my mouth to say something, then suddenly heard a rustling behind me. I saw Roark’s eyes go hard and flat, directed just over my shoulder, and he stood even as I began to turn.

“Liana,” said an all-too-familiar voice.

In the doorway, Gerome was brushing a bit of dust from the shoulder of his crimson uniform, his eyes sweeping over the little lab, lingering briefly on Roark, and then longer on Grey. He shook his head, expression cold and distant.

“Gerome,” I managed, my eyes on my mentor, taking in his cold eyes and rigid stance. “What a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here? Am I late for our shift?” I wasn’t—it was only four.

“To hell with that,” Roark snarled. “You’re in my home, Knight.”

“The Knights go where there is a threat to the Tower, and no door can stop them,” Gerome responded smoothly, his eyes returning to me. “What are you doing here?”

I hesitated, and then hoisted my chin up. “Citizen Farmless was assaulted by a three today, and suffered burns. I came here to help him file a report.”

“Would this be Silvan Wash?”

Blinking in confusion, I looked away for a second, and then looked back up at him as a piece of the puzzle fell into place.

He’d been the one following me.

Gerome’s face might as well have been carved from stone as he stared at me. “Why are you here?” he repeated.

I stuck to the lie. “If you know his name, that means they found him and got him to the Medica. Citizen Farmless was telling me he acted in self-defense.”

“You’re taking the word of a four?”

I placed a hand on my hip. “Citizen Farmless is a nine, Gerome. His experience changed him, for the better.”