The Girl Who Dared to Think (The Girl Who Dared #1)

So I forced a blank expression onto my face and perfected my “yes, I see you” nod as I strolled down the path cut through the corn. I moved at a sedate pace, picking my way down the long path and eyeing each bend speculatively, trying to decide which spot was the one where Grey had kissed me.

That kiss. We hadn’t talked about it—or at least not seriously—since we’d met up earlier today. Maybe we would’ve, had Silvan not attacked us, but after Grey’s reaction to my assertion that I was being followed, as well as the lack of serious conversation about said kiss, I was left feeling confused and slightly hurt. I had no idea how he felt about me—I just knew that he had kissed me twice.

I hadn’t stopped thinking about it, though, and maybe I was being too much of a ‘girl’ about it, but I really wanted to know what he wanted. Was he just being a guy and seeing what I would let him get away with, or did he genuinely like me? Did I like him?

I was angry with him right now, that much was certain, but did I like him? That was a bit harder to classify. Because on the one hand, yes, I thought I did. On the other, more realistic hand, I had tried to arrest him, then saved his life, then been saved by him, and... I felt pretty justified in saying that the mixture of emotions I was feeling about the whole situation just left me feeling... unsettled.

I paused as I crossed one of the footbridges running over an irrigation canal and looked out over the fields, trying to think. The issue with being followed and the issue with Grey were separate—yet mildly connected by his lack of belief in me.

If I really thought about it, I couldn’t be angry with him for doubting me. Not once, but twice I had claimed to see something, only for there to be nothing there. If I were him, I wouldn’t believe me either. He didn’t know me well enough to trust my assessment of things, not like Eric and Zoe did.

As I thought of my two friends, and how I hadn’t seen them in seventeen days and counting, my stomach twisted into even more knots. I frowned and leaned over the railing, allowing my elbows to hold me up as I watched the irrigation canal snake out through the massive fields. I wondered what they were up to... and how furious they both were with me. It wasn’t like me to disappear. But then again, maybe they’d think it was just my medication.

I knew I was worrying Zoe. And it would only be a matter of time before she risked running into my parents just so she could barge into my room and demand answers. And I still wasn’t sure what I would tell her if that happened.

“She is taking the Medica treatment,” a familiar voice from some distance behind me said, and I turned, expecting to see Eric, bewildered at how I could be thinking about him one second, only for him to manifest the next.

“I don’t think she is,” Zoe replied, and I realized I had seconds before they rounded the corner and saw me, and quickly launched myself over the railing. I landed, just barely able to catch my balance before splashing into the water, and ducked under the bridge, crawling on my hands and knees into the tight space underneath. “I think she’s avoiding me.”

Hidden though I was, it took everything I had not to climb out from under the bridge to go to my best friend and give her a hug. Her voice had broken as she said it, and Eric sighed and said something softly, under his breath.

Then silence. I watched the water rushing by, trying to keep my heartbeat down, and wondered what they were doing up there. After a moment, Zoe sniffled.

“Eric... do you think Liana doesn’t like me anymore?” she asked. “Like... maybe I did something to make her upset?”

Eric’s reply was soft and soothing. “Zoe, there is nothing in the world you could do to make her upset. She loves you.”

“Then why won’t she net me?” Zoe snapped.

Eric sighed, and I heard the thump of his foot on the bridge and tried to curl up even more underneath it. The space was tight, however, and the bridge barely wide enough to accommodate two people walking side by side. If they came around the other side, they’d see me plain as day.

“Fine,” Eric began patiently. “Why would she be mad at you? The last time you two hung out was when both of you were being weird. What happened after you left?”

My breath caught in my lungs, and I looked up, my heart pounding. The last day he’d seen us together was when we’d fed him that really awful story about why Zoe had to cancel their dinner plans. The day she had helped me save Grey’s life. Zoe had said she wouldn’t tell him, but she was positively smitten with Eric. She trusted him. So did I, to an extent—but there was a limit.

“I already told you. I helped her out and then left.”

“Yes, but, I mean...” I heard the awkwardness in Eric’s voice and bit my lip, praying he wouldn’t dig too far. “I feel like you’re not telling me everything. And I kind of thought... well... that we were better friends than that.”

Zoe was silent. “Are we?” she asked quietly, and I could just imagine the insecurity on her face. “How long before your family convinces you to stop hanging out with me? My ranking has never been lower, and I’m definitely not the biggest fan of the Tower right now.”

“Yes, but why?” Eric’s voice was awash with frustration—the most negative I’d ever heard him in my life—and another pang of guilt shot through me. He was an eight because he was so upbeat, but if he was feeling the way he sounded—harsh and tense—then his rank was in jeopardy, and it was my fault.

Zoe sighed overhead, and I clenched my hands together, trying not to say anything. Going out there would only make things worse, because they’d demand to know where I’d been and what I’d been doing. And I couldn’t tell them the truth, which meant I would have to lie. I might even have to be cruel.

Zoe sighed, and I heard footsteps. I closed my eyes as they thundered loudly overhead, and then opened them when they stopped halfway across. “Don’t worry about me,” Zoe said. “I’m sure I’ll get over it. I just...”

She trailed off, and I wrapped my arms around my knees, trying to compress myself into an even tighter ball.

“Hey,” Eric said. “You know you can tell me anything. I’m not like the others... I can take it.”

“Oh, Eric,” Zoe breathed, her voice so soft that I had to strain to hear it over the wind and the water. “I really want to, but Liana said...”

“She’s not here! She’s not even talking to us. Please, just tell me. Maybe I can help.”

Alarm began to course through me as Eric tried to worm his way toward the truth, and I realized that I’d done Zoe a great disservice—I’d had someone to talk to about what I’d seen, but I’d denied her anyone to talk to about what I told her.