The Girl Who Dared to Endure (The Girl Who Dared #6)

“You too.”

The line went dead, and I clicked the device off and sighed. That had gone about as well as I could’ve hoped. Still, I couldn’t help but feel guilty about telling him. Because of me, he was now considering returning to the Tower to help fight. I remembered how broken he had seemed when he talked about our lives here, and I wasn’t sure I could let him do that. Coming back here would kill him on the inside, if not get him dead from a legacy attack. Besides, Sadie was undoubtedly aware of his transfer, and was likely wondering what was going on. If she tried to spy on him only to find out he was missing—and then only to have him return—it would raise a lot of questions.

I’d have to talk him out of it if he decided to come back. It was the only way to keep him safe. And if that didn’t work, and he did arrive on my doorstep, I’d have to knock him unconscious and send him back with the others. He might spend the rest of his life in Patrus hating me, but at least he would have a life.

Decision made, I turned to go back inside, pointedly ignoring the lone voice inside of me that told me the path I was taking was a very lonely one indeed.

It was right, so why argue?





33





We arrived back at my quarters to find Leo/Grey sitting on one of the sofas. I slowed at the top of the stairs as he looked up at us and rose slowly to his feet, studying him to see who I was dealing with.

“Liana,” he said a moment later, and I could tell from the way he said it that I was talking to Leo.

“Leo,” I replied, stopping at the first step and looking over at Maddox for help. She blinked at both of us and then pointed a thumb at the hallway.

“You know what, I haven’t eaten all day,” she said carefully. “I am going to raid the fridge. Excuse me.”

I narrowed my eyes at her as she went down the stairs and muttered a soft “Traitor” under my breath. She snorted softly but didn’t rise to the bait as she made a hasty exit, leaving Leo and me alone.

I watched her go, and then sighed heavily. After the conversation I had just had with my brother, I wasn’t sure I was ready for this. But since he was clearly sitting here waiting for me, I didn’t exactly see a way out.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

His cheeks flushed red. “Stupid,” he said. “And still a little tired. I’m going to sit back down, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, and slowly made my way down the stairs. I didn’t sit next to him, but instead leaned against the wall the screen hung on, putting several feet of floor between us. I was still mad at him, in spite of Grey’s request for me not to be.

Leo stared at me for several seconds and then sighed. “Liana, I owe you an apology,” he finally started, and I crossed my arms, trying not to snort derisively. I was pretty sure that it went without saying, but Leo, being Leo, felt the need to say it anyway. “I shouldn’t have put Grey at risk like that. It was foolish, shortsighted, and dangerous. I made you a promise to keep him safe, and I failed you. As soon as his memories are fully restored, I will find a way to move myself from the net into the terminal, and that will be—”

“Stop,” I said, having decided I had heard enough. He had apologized for one of the things that he needed to, and I accepted that. But there were other things that we had to discuss before he went making any decisions.

Leo blinked at me in surprise, and then turned wary.

“Before you go any further with your request to be downloaded into the terminal, we need to discuss a few things. Like how you told Grey about our relationship before I got the chance to. Or how you were acting when I was fighting to help you. Did you forget that I promised I would stay and fight with you? Or did you think that my promise was only contingent on us having a relationship? Because let me tell you something, I didn’t make it for you. I made it for the people in the Tower, and I still stand by it. I may have just damaged my relationship with my brother permanently over it, dammit! And the way you acted this morning… It hurt worse than anything you could’ve said last night.”

Leo’s jaw dropped, and he stared at me for several seconds—long enough for me to realize that I had started walking toward him during my impassioned speech, and that I desperately needed air, as I had expended it all in my rant. I couldn’t help it. The anger I had buried deep had erupted, and I finally had a target—a justifiable one—that I could use it on.

“You’re still planning to stay?” he asked, cocking his head at me. “After everything you’ve been through?”

“Yes! I swear to Scipio… Why is that so hard for everyone to understand? Everyone wants to go, to run away from our problems and start a new life, but I can’t! It’s not who I am! I see a problem, and I fix it. It’s all I’ve been doing since this started, and I can’t stop now, or nothing any of us has done or sacrificed will have been worth it. Everything you’ve told me about Lionel’s vision of the Tower sounded beautiful, Leo, and I want to see our world become that. I want to make it better. I want to make us hope and dream again. And maybe I’ll die in the process, but at least I’ll die believing in a future that’s better than our reality.”

Leo stared at me for several seconds. I could see him struggling, trying to come up with some sort of response to what I’d just said, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it. “Grey says he wants to stay and help, too,” he announced, and my skin prickled at the oddity of it.

“He heard all of that?” I asked, unable to help myself.

“He did,” Leo said. “He mentioned that both of us being here is very invasive, right?”

“Yes,” I replied, tension radiating through me. Leo hadn’t said anything about his feelings yet, and to be honest, I wanted to know what he was thinking. “So…” I said, trailing off and giving him a little head roll that indicated I was waiting for him to say something.

He leaned back in the sofa, and then reached out to touch the spot next to him. “Would you?” he asked.

I hesitated, and then went around the low table to sit opposite him on the couch. I told myself it was because my legs hurt, and not because I was hoping for him to confess a reversal of his feelings, because I still hadn’t had a chance to process what Grey had suggested earlier.

“Thank you,” he said, shifting on the couch some so he could face me. “My neck was beginning to hurt.”

I stared at him, determined not to make any more small talk until he offered something of substance.

He sighed and looked away. “You’re right. I behaved poorly from start to finish. I’m not good at this, Liana. Every time I feel something new, it’s so intense that I… I am not sure what to make of it. When it was just me, when I was just code, I never had to question how I felt. But then again, I’ve never felt anything quite as complex as I have in the past few days. Doubt—not in someone else, but in myself—and fear of losing someone that I… that I care for. I failed you. I didn’t get the information we needed from Baldy, and I couldn’t control anything he did.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” I said. His words had moved me, but not a lot. I was still angry. “And if you had just talked to me about it…”

“I know,” he whispered. “Like I said, I’m stupid.”