His brown eyes twinkled. “You dragged your baton along the ground to create a show of sparks. I remember thinking that you were so commanding and confident, even though you were clearly nervous. I saw how brave you were—so much braver than I was—and it took my breath away. I thought to myself, ‘That’s it. She’s the one.’”
I snorted at that, but his words had brought a bittersweet smile to my lips. I loved hearing his internal thoughts on our first meeting, but at the same time, I realized that all of this could change at the drop of a dime. He might be accepting now, but who knew how he would feel about it tomorrow?
“We really shouldn’t be talking about this now,” I told him softly, once again trying to extricate myself from the conversation. “We should wait until your memories are fully—”
“Give me a little credit, Liana. I know myself a little bit better than you do, and I know what I’m willing to accept and not accept. Maybe before I wouldn’t—couldn’t—tolerate the idea of you and someone else, but I realize now that was my problem, not yours. My fear of being abandoned again, turned away because something in me was faulty and broken. But Leo showed me how much you fought for me, how much you tried to resist your own feelings for him, and I realized that it wasn’t so black and white, so why should I be? Yes, you have feelings for another man. Does he make you happy? Do you still care about me? Can you?”
My confusion and shock at his questions caused my thoughts to completely fall apart. Why was he asking me if I cared about him and Leo both? Obviously, I did. But that couldn’t be what he was asking me, right?
“Why are you asking me that?” I asked carefully, uncertain of how to respond to his questions.
He stared at me, and then reached out and placed his hand over mine. “Because if Leo being in my body makes you happy, then I’m willing to share it—and you—with him.”
He could’ve knocked me over with a feather. “I…” was the only sound that could escape my clenched throat. Was that even possible? Could we… he… I…
I was overrun with confusion, my thoughts fragmented beyond belief. Of all the outcomes I ever thought possible, this was one I had never even considered, and it damn near broke me.
“I meant what I told you yesterday,” he said, catching my attention. “I would do anything to make the woman I love happy. To nurture her as she needs it. I just happened to fall for a girl who needed a man who could fight at her side while protecting her heart. I’ve got half of that covered. If Leo wants to help me handle the other part, I’m more than willing to let him. All I care about is that you’re happy.” The gleam in his eyes diminished some. “Leo told me about your mom. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I could tell it hit you hard.”
My heart broke at his words, and I started to cry. He was just too sweet and accepting, and I’d done nothing to earn it. He still cared about me, even though I had betrayed him in such a cruel way. “You deserve someone better than me,” I told him.
Grey patted the bed next to him, and before I knew it, I was curled up on my side, his front pressed to my back, one arm draped over my side. “Maybe,” he said in a light tone. “But that’s my decision to make.”
“How can you be so understanding about all of this?” I begged, needing to understand. “You don’t even remember us.”
“I will soon,” he promised. “And how can I not be? I’m lucky enough to be alive right now, and reliving my past is helping me realize a few things about myself. I came from a place where love was withheld because I didn’t conform to expectations. I don’t want to ever make anyone I care about feel that way. I’m willing to be open to all different forms of it, even those that defy convention. If this is what makes you happy, and lets me keep being a part of your life, then I don’t care.” He paused for a second, and then added, “The other reason is that Leo doesn’t have a corporeal self. Call me petty, but there’s something satisfying about the fact that even though I’m happy to share him with you, he still has to touch you using my hands, and kiss you using my lips. It’s a compromise that I’m okay making.”
I managed a chuckle at that. “You’ve become an oddly laid-back guy, you know?”
“I know, right? I can tell what you’re thinking. ‘Man, Grey is so cool now. I’m even more head over heels for that guy than I ever was before.’” I shoved my elbow into his stomach—not hard, but in a warning shot—and he chuckled, brushing his lips over my temple in a kiss. “You should probably be going,” he said, a yawn cracking his voice. “I know you guys have a lot of work to do, and I need some rest. And hey… I meant it—don’t be mad at Leo. I was also part of the problem. I kept him up, arguing with him about what a jackass he was being.”
“You did?” I asked, a smile breaking on my face.
“Of course I did. It’s obvious his feelings for you are his own. He’s just doubting them after what happened yesterday. And he lacks the emotional experience to know how to deal with it all.”
“They are?” I asked, looking up at him. “He does? How can you know that?”
“I told you this was pretty invasive, having both of us up here. And the reason I know his feelings for you are his own is because his thoughts toward you are way too polite. He just likes to kiss and hold you. Oh, he’s curious about the other parts as well, but he’s perfectly satisfied with the sensation of comfort.” He looked down at me, his eyes blazing. “My thoughts, however, are far filthier.”
My face went white hot with surprise and embarrassment, followed by a shot of lust that hit me from head to toe.
“How can you just talk about it like that?” I asked, my embarrassment outweighing my attraction. “How can you just—”
“It’s my body, remember?” he said, cutting me off by lightly stroking his fingers over my cheek. His eyes dropped to my mouth, and he smiled. “I don’t remember our first kiss yet, and while I’m sure it was amazing, I sort of want to reinvent it right here and now.”
“Are you asking me?” I whispered, my heart beginning to flutter wildly in my chest.
He smiled. “Normally, I would say yes,” he declared, his voice low and smoky. I twisted toward him in response, wanting to face him more fully. “But you’ll have to forgive me if I pass out now instead.” As if to emphasize the point, he yawned widely, and then dropped his head back onto the pillow, his eyelids closing.
I smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. I didn’t know what to make of any of this, but I had learned something important: I still had feelings for Grey.
If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be this disappointed that he was asleep again, even if he needed it.
“Goodnight,” I said, giving him a peck on the cheek before gently untangling myself. I still had to think about what he had said about Leo, but there were other things that took priority at the moment.
Besides, I needed to talk to Leo before I made any judgments or decisions. If what Grey was saying was true, then maybe Leo’s overreaction was due to his inexperience with complicated emotions like these. I wasn’t sure, but I had to talk to him about it before I started condemning his actions.
29
I emerged from Grey’s room, intent on heading back to the war room to continue going through the files, but I stopped when I saw Zoe leaning against a wall, waiting for me.
“Hey,” she said as the door closed behind me. “How is he?”
I hesitated. I wasn’t sure how to tell her about the conversation that Grey and I had just had, as I had no idea how to even process it for myself. Grey was willing to share his body with Leo and was okay with me having some sort of relationship with both of them. The idea that he could be so accepting of this, of us, had opened up a strange possibility in my mind, and I really wanted time and space to think about it.
On the one hand… God, Grey loved me. So much so that he was entertaining the idea of sharing his body with an AI forever, just to make me happy. On the other… it was weird.
The Girl Who Dared to Endure (The Girl Who Dared #6)
Bella Forrest's books
- A Gate of Night (A Shade of Vampire #6)
- A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire 3)
- A Shade of Blood (A Shade of Vampire 2)
- A Shade of Vampire (A Shade of Vampire 1)
- Beautiful Monster (Beautiful Monster #1)
- A Shade Of Vampire
- A Shade of Vampire 8: A Shade of Novak
- A Clan of Novaks (A Shade of Vampire, #25)
- A World of New (A Shade of Vampire, #26)
- A Vial of Life (A Shade of Vampire, #21)
- The Gender Fall (The Gender Game #5)
- The Secret of Spellshadow Manor (Spellshadow Manor #1)