I haul my ass upstairs. My left knee throbs and my back feels like a hot iron rod has been shoved up my spine. That’s just the top of my list of various aches and pains. I’m twenty-four years old and am hobbling like a senior citizen on his way to a four o’clock dinner. Old before my time, I think as I open my front door, toss my keys on the side table, and step into an empty house.
For one dark second, loneliness swamps me and I can’t breathe. It takes my air and weighs down my chest. I stare at the floor as my hand fumbles to find my phone in my pocket.
I need to hear Fi’s voice. Now. God, I need to see and touch her so badly I grind my teeth with want. But her voice will have to do.
Then it hits me, a certain warmth, the scent of coffee, and the underlying fragrance of fresh flowers. I feel her. Here.
Fi is here.
My bag hits the floor with a thud, and I practically run into the main room. She’s pouring herself a cup of coffee, her hair gleaming pale gold under the kitchen light. She looks up at my arrival, a nervous smile drawing tight over her delicate features. “Hey.”
I stop on the other side of the massive marble-covered island, pressing my hands against the cold slab to ground me. “Tell me you’re really here.”
Her smile grows warmer, more real. “You think you’re hallucinating, Big Guy?”
“Could be. I dream about this a lot.” Every fucking day.
She sets the cup down with a clink of porcelain and rounds the island. I watch her approach, her hips swaying beneath one of those flirty little skirts she favors. My chest contracts when her slim hands slide up, drawing little shivers in her wake. Her thumbs run over the edge of my beard, then along my lower lip. It’s all I can do not to bite that thumb, suck it into my mouth.
“Feel real enough to you?” Her voice is husky.
I breathe in the scent of Fi, lean into her. “Not sure. I think I need more.” I need everything. All of her.
She knows this. With a gentle tug, she pulls me down to her. I go willingly. Her sweet, soft mouth finds mine, and everything within me sighs with relief.
I don’t know how long I kiss her, but it isn’t long enough. Too soon, she’s pulling back, but she keeps her arms around my neck, and I hold her close. It’s only then that I realize her body is tense, her gaze hesitant.
“I’ve decided,” she says. “You don’t get to choose our fate without consulting me.”
“Agreed.”
My instant answer seems to give her pause, her head cocking back as if she doesn’t understand. Her voice comes out unsteady but strong. “Good. You pissed me off, Ethan.”
“I know.” I should be more contrite, but I’m so fucking happy she’s here. I can’t keep back my smile, can’t stop from touching her cheek.
She bats my hand away. “I’m serious. You…you hurt me. If you don’t want me, just say it now. Don’t hide behind some ridiculous claim of trying to protect me, because—”
I cup her smooth cheek and kiss her. Fi’s mouth moves against mine, shaping words—probably trying to tell me off. I keep kissing her soft and slow until she relaxes with a sigh. My fingers thread through her hair as I look down at her.
“You’re right. I was a dumbass. I’m sorry.” I nuzzle her cheek. “I was on my way to see you. To apologize.” To beg for another chance.
Her nose wrinkles in a dubious look. I kiss the tip of it, but she doesn’t relent. “I mean, how could you do that? And over Skype, Ethan!”
“I’m an asshole.” I keep my eyes steady on hers. “I was embarrassed, Fi. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
Her voice is soft. “Like what?”
My skin goes uncomfortably tight, and my insides roll like there’s a lead weight falling through me. But I owe her the words. “All these women coming after me for the money. With pity in their eyes and dollar signs dancing in their heads.”
She’s quiet for a second. “I’m glad they don’t know what they’re missing,” she says low and fierce. “It means I have you all to myself.”
Closing my eyes, I press my forehead against the top of her head. “No one else ever stood a chance against you, Cherry.” Holding her close eases all the tight spaces inside me. “I panicked, and it hurt you. You have no idea how sorry I am for that.”