Perhaps a tourist would find it while out collecting shells. Perhaps it would change everything for her.
His legs ached. He stared in the sunlight at the retreating wisp of shore until it seemed merely a trick of the eyes, an imagined oasis. Here, then gone. Of course the body would resist its demise. Of course; this was how life was. How could he have thought otherwise? It was a lesson he’d learned again and again: no matter how carefully you planned or did your research, the unknowable things would rise up out of the deep and overturn everything. But that was what had drawn him in, wasn’t it? The depths of what we don’t know?
Maybe he’d see Sheila again. Her face. Or some glimmer of her in another.
Maybe he wouldn’t.
He looked around him at the wide sky, at the ocean that continued now as far as he could see. The water sparkled in the sunlight, dazzling his eyes. Every molecule glistening in the radiant, polka-dotted world. He felt his limbs relax, his body melting beneath the beauty of it.
Blue sky, blue water, and nothing else.
The undiscovered country.
Look at it this way, Jer, he heard Sheila saying. Now you’re going to get some answers. He felt the curiosity beating through him at the thought of it, stronger than his heart.
Acknowledgments
This book was inspired by the work of the late Dr. Ian Stevenson and Dr. Jim Tucker at the Division of Perceptual Studies at the University of Virginia School of Medicine.
I am particularly indebted to Dr. Tucker for consulting with me and for allowing me to include parts of his excellent book of nonfiction Life Before Life: Children’s Memories of Previous Lives, within this made-up tale. Anderson’s thinking on why children might remember previous lifetimes owes a great deal to a chapter in Dr. Tucker’s fascinating book Return to Life: Extraordinary Cases of Children Who Remember Past Lives.
For those who’d like to read more about Dr. Ian Stevenson, Old Souls, by Tom Shroder, is a riveting account of the man and his work; Children Who Remember Previous Lives, by Dr. Stevenson, gives an overview of his approach.
I’d also like to give thanks:
To my brilliant editor, Amy Einhorn, whose vision guided this novel through many drafts and made it an incomparably better book. To the amazing team at Flatiron Books, including Liz Keenan, Marlena Bittner, and Caroline Bleeke.
To my agent, Geri Thoma, who went above and beyond and whose wise counsel I can always rely on. To Simon Lipskar and Andrea Morrison at Writer’s House for all their help. To Jerry Kalajian at the Intellectual Property Group for working to give this story another life.
To my advisers: Rebecca Dreyfus, for endless patience, love, and confidence in me, and for good ideas both large and small; Bryan Goluboff, who always found time to help me untangle the plot; and Matt Bialer, for incredible generosity that made a huge difference.
To Bliss Broyard, Rita Zoey Chin, Ken Chen, Meakin Armstrong, Youmna Chlala, Sascha Alper, Nell Mermin, and Julia Strohm for reading drafts of this novel and giving great advice. To Catherine Chung, who helped me focus this book at a crucial moment.
To the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts and Wellspring House, for perfect working environments.
To the late Jerome Badanes, whose encouragement still matters.
To the dear friends who have advised and supported me through the many incarnations of this book, especially Liz Ludden, Sue Epstein, Martha Southgate, Tami Ephross, Lisa Mann, Stephanie Rose, Shari Motro, Rahti Gorfien, Susannah Ludwig, Edie Meidav, Carol Volk, and Carla Drysdale.
To my teachers, especially the late Peter Matthiessen, who lit the spark, and Kadam Morten Clausen, whose meditation classes and extraordinary teachings helped me stay calm through the ups and downs of this process and eventually changed my life.
To my parents, Alan and Judy Guskin, who always believed in me; my wonderful sisters, Andrea Guskin and Carrie LaShell; my stepmother Lois LaShell, whose faith in my abilities never flagged; and my stepfather, Martin Rosenthal, a true original. To my incredible Cuomo in-laws, Sylvia, George and June, and the Cuomo sibs: I’m so proud to be part of your family.
To my husband, Doug Cuomo, for limitless love and support; and my children, Eli and Ben, for being so kind and so fun. Words can’t express how lucky I feel to share this life with the three of you.