“Seriously. What are we doing?”
“Come on,” she said, hurrying out of the car, and running down the road. This girl was going to be the death of me—and by death I meant life. Because of her coming into my life, I somehow found freedom from my life’s restraints each day.
I followed after her, because whenever she moved, I wondered where she was going.
She stood in front of a ladder leading up to a billboard. “Tada!” she screamed, dancing with excitement.
“Umm?”
“It’s your birthday present, silly!”
“My present is…a billboard ladder?”
She rolled her eyes and dramatically sighed. “Follow me,” she said, climbing up the ladder. I did as she told me.
We climbed up the highest ladder I’d ever come across. The large billboard that we sat in front of read, “2 for 5 Burgers from Hungry Harry’s Diner.” I could tell Alyssa was a bit afraid of heights, because she kept trying her best to avoid looking down. There was a railing that wrapped around the billboard to keep us from freefalling, but still, it seemed too high for her liking.
“You’re a little scared?” I asked, learning something new.
“Um, maybe? I think heights are one of those things you don’t know you’re terrified of until you’re…up high. Anyway.” She slowly walked around to the side of the billboard and pulled out a picnic basket and wrapped gifts. “Here you go. Open the gifts first.”
I did as she told me, and I almost broke down when I saw the presents. “I wasn’t sure which one it was that you watched with your grandpa, so I got all of the DVDs I could find,” she explained. I held over twelve DVDs on the galaxy, and the documentary that I watched with Grandpa was amongst the pile.
“Jesus,” I murmured, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“And,” she waved up to the sky. “This is the best view I could find for seeing the stars at night. I drove around town for days trying to find a spot. I know it’s probably dumb, but I thought you’d enjoy the view.” She frowned. “It’s dumb, isn’t it? I should have done something better. The past two years I did so well, and I just thought that this would be…”
I grabbed her hand.
She went silent.
“Thank you,” I whispered, brushing my free hand against my eyes. I sniffled a bit and nodded. “Thank you.”
“You love it?”
“I love it.”
I’m falling in love with you…
Shaking my head, I tried to run that thought away.
I couldn’t love her. Love meant pain. And she was one of the only two good things in my life.
I looked back to the sky. “If you look out there, you can see the Scorpius constellation. Each month, you can see some constellations better than others. It starts with that lower star, curves up, and then splits off into five points, making it look kind of like a dandelion. Antares is the brightest star in the constellation. Grandpa used to tell me it was the heart of the Scorpius. Do you see it?” I asked, pointing. She nodded. “The myth behind it is that Orion, the hunter, was boasting that he could kill all animals on the planet. He was defeated by a scorpion, and Zeus noticed the battle take place. Therefore, he raised the scorpion to the night sky for eternity.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah,” I whispered, staring at her, staring up. “It is.”
“That’s beautiful, too,” she said.
“What’s beautiful?”
Her lips turned up as she kept watching the stars. “The way you stare at me when you think I’m not looking.”
My heart skipped once.
She noticed me staring?
“Do you ever stare my way?”
She nodded slow. “And then when we aren’t together, I close my eyes, and I see you in my mind. That’s the moment when I never feel alone.”
I’m falling in love with you.
I wanted to open my mouth and tell her those words. I wanted to let her into my soul and tell her the stories of how I daydreamed about her. Then I remembered who she was, and who I was and why I couldn’t say those words.
The awkward silence stayed until Alyssa helped move it along.
“Oh! I also made a late-late night dinner for us,” she exclaimed, reaching for the picnic basket. “Now, I don’t want you to be offended by how amazing my food is. I know you’re used to being the best chef in town, but I think I might have topped you with this one.”
She reached into the basket and pulled out a container holding peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I laughed. “No way! You made this?”
“Fully from scratch. Except for the peanut butter, jam, and bread. That was all from the grocery store.”
My best friend, folks.
I bit into the sandwich. “Mixed berry jam?”
“Mixed berry jam.”
“Well aren’t you fancy?”
She smiled. And I died a little.
“For dessert, I have a package of raspberries, and these.” She pulled out a package of Oreos. “I went all out, didn’t I? Here.” She picked up a cookie, untwisted it, placed a raspberry inside, and put it back together. Then, she proceeded to fly it around like an airplane by my mouth. I opened wide, took a bit, and moaned.