The Fall Up

He threw his hands out to his sides in frustration and yelled, “I mean we have no fucking clue where she went!”


My entire world stilled then flipped completely upside down. A whooshing noise filled my ears, and Anne’s smile appeared behind my lids with every blink. Her words from the past echoed in my mind.

“I’m fine.”

I knew exactly where Levee was headed.

And it was the most terrifying moment of my entire life.

Without another word spoken, I sprinted from the room like an Olympic athlete on fire. And, judging by the burn in my chest, I really might have been.

No. No. No. No.

There wasn’t much this world could throw at me that I hadn’t already experienced, but this…

Oh, God.

The pendulum of my anxiety swung epically high, sledgehammering my knees on the way up. They were shaking so badly that, if I hadn’t needed them to find her, they would have buckled. Pure force of will kept me on my feet—well, that and a pair of Designer Shoes that I prayed were still securely on solid ground.

I slid behind the wheel of my car and pulled up the maps app on my phone. Then I peeled out of the parking lot, still zooming in and out, frantically searching for the closest bridge.

I tried to be rational and tell myself that she wouldn’t do this to me. She’d been doing so much better. She was just upset and needed to blow off some steam. That didn’t mean she was suicidal. However, when she was nowhere to be found on the first bridge, the overwhelming fear made it difficult to stay positive.

After the second bridge, it was damn near impossible.

And, after the third, I was lost in the pits of despair.

But I kept going with nothing more than her last words to me fueling my hope.

“I’ll see you in a minute.”

I would never forget as long as I lived the moment those brown curls came into view. There wasn’t even a pedestrian lane on that small bridge overlooking what could only be described as a creek. But she was there, standing at the concrete railing—her heart still beating, her breath still filling her lungs. And, as my car came to a screeching halt in the middle of traffic, a smile covered her face.

I was so relieved that I couldn’t have cared less when cars started honking as I jumped from my car and slid across the hood like Bo Duke.

“Jesus Christ, Levee,” I breathed when I crashed into her, folding her securely in my arms.

“Well, that took you long enough,” she teased.

I wanted to be pissed. I really did. But that could wait. I needed to figure out where her head was. She didn’t seem upset or distressed, but she was definitely standing on the edge of a bridge for a reason. I just hoped it wasn’t the reason I thought.

Horns continued to blare as cars drove around mine.

“What are you doing up here?” I asked.

She leaned away and smiled widely. “Waiting for you.”

“On a bridge?” I asked, incredulously.

“It’s a tiny bridge, Sam.” She glanced down at the water below. “I’m not even sure if that fall would have broken my legs.”

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s a log over a ditch. It’s still a bridge,” I snapped.

Her eyes narrowed at my outburst. “Well, you found me, didn’t you? I’m fine.”

I flinched at her word choice. “Yes, after searching every bridge in this city. I was scared to fucking death, Levee.”

Her attitude slipped. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that. Jumping isn’t at all why I’m here. I swear. Actually, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I’ve been up here. I’m not sure I ever wanted to kill myself, Sam. It was just the idea of escaping all the chaos and overwhelming guilt I had in my life that sounded so appealing. But that doesn’t mean jumping—it just means making some changes. Changes I’m officially ready to make now.” She smiled proudly.

And, truth be told, I was proud of her too.

I was also frustrated.

“You couldn’t call and tell me that? Maybe wait for me at Starbucks?”

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