Nova grabbed the pot and smelled it curiously. “I did it as long as it said.”
Tino yanked the pot out of his hand and threw it in the sink, realizing right then that Nova had never cooked. Not from scratch. Romeo did the cooking and stored it in Tupperware containers for them. Microwave meals were about as far as Nova’s domestic kitchen skills went. “You’re not allowed to cook anymore.”
“I don’t wanna order pizza. I’m trying not to draw any attention to us,” Nova said anxiously. “The cunt will start bitching if we have delivery. Just eat a cereal bar.”
“I can’t eat any more cereal bars. Can’t we buy a friggin’ microwave? Can we go to the store and buy one? Please.”
“I don’t wanna spend any more than I have to. The lawyer’s eating up all the money Romeo saved and—”
Tino whined again. He was hungry and trapped in this shithole, and his back hurt. Now that he’d made the decision to stay away from drugs as much as possible, reality was starting to become more than a little difficult to deal with. So fuck it. He had a bratty-little-brother moment.
Tino sat down in the middle of the floor and sulked.
“I miss Romeo.”
He wanted his older brother.
He wanted someone to hug him and protect him and tell him it was going to be okay.
Romeo was six-six and built like a tree.
A really big, very muscular tree.
He was the reason Tino and Nova were so heavily involved in martial arts. Romeo had been competing nationally since he was in middle school.
It was easy to believe everything was going to be okay when Romeo promised it.
“I’m trying, Tino.” Nova’s voice cracked with misery. “I know I’m not Rome, but I’m trying.”
Tino knew he was trying, and he honestly didn’t want to make things worse on Nova. It was obvious something broke in him after the night in the shower, so Tino just took a long, steady breath and asked, “How long till he gets out? You never tell me how long.”
Nova was silent for a while before he whispered, “I don’t know.”
Tino didn’t believe it, because Nova knew everything.
He just fell onto his back, even though it hurt like a bitch, and looked at the ceiling, seeing a water stain. If there was a hole in the roof, that meant there were probably rats up there.
Of course there were rats.
Why wouldn’t there be?
“Do I have to live here until I’m eighteen?” Tino asked him, still staring at the water spot. “Is Rome gonna be gone that long?”
“Probably,” Nova whispered. “But maybe, if we get the right judge—”
Tino closed his eyes, but the tears ran down his cheeks anyway.
He didn’t think there was a person in existence who missed East Harlem as desperately as Tino did in that moment. Then Nova’s new cell phone rang, because it rang constantly since the don gave it to him.
“Pronto,” Nova answered in that tone he always used when he talked to the don, like everything was fucking great and nothing in the world existed but serving him. “Yeah, I can look at it. Are they there right now?” He met Tino’s gaze and mouthed, Sorry, right before he said, “No, I can come tonight.”
Tino turned on his side because his back was hurting him, and he really didn’t want his brother to see him break down and sob over burned pasta.
Though, honestly, someone should cry over that.
It was pretty fucking bad.
After he hung up, Nova put a box of cereal bars in front of Tino like a peace offering. Then he leaned down and kissed Tino’s temple. “Ti voglio bene.”
“Yeah,” Tino agreed and didn’t bother to wipe his tears. Carlo said Lost Boys were supposed to cry, so he gave up and cried, but still he said, “I love you too,” because he didn’t know where Nova was going and he didn’t trust life. Not anymore. “Come home.”
“Brush your teeth. Don’t forget.” Nova almost sounded like Romeo when he said it. “Get rid of the list.”
“There’s no cable,” Tino reminded him, because they had their television from East Harlem that was almost useless.
“Then make a different list. I’ll rent you some movies on my way home.” Nova kissed his temple one more time, and then he found his shoes in the bedroom and was gone.
Just like that.
’Cause the don told him to jump.
So Nova fucking jumped.
Tino colored in the list rather than get rid of it. Just covered the whole paper with black ink, completely ragging out the ballpoint pen, but he knew what was hiding under all that ink.
He knew the words that were there.
Then he started working on a new list instead of eating another fucking cereal bar.
Tino officially hated cereal bars.
Upside of Neverland
Carina
Carlo
Brianna
Tino stared at it for a while, because that was about it for the good things. He drew a line under each of their names, and then paused on Brianna and decided to add uniforms to the list.
Even if they had been on the downside list, he couldn’t help but be a little excited about the first day of school if Carina’s best friend in a Catholic school uniform was the bonus.