The Ending I Want

He didn’t push me to talk about my past. He just asked what I wanted for my future.

I didn’t have anything to tell him because I wouldn’t have a future.

So, I told him the things I used to want before losing my family.

I said that I was thinking about getting a master’s in English literature when I got back to Boston.

That took us onto talking about his college days.

Liam told me that he went to Cambridge, and he had a degree in business.

Then, he told me more about his companies and his business goals for the future.

But, honestly, it didn’t matter what he was talking about. I was just happy to listen to him. I could seriously listen to the man talk all night.

Partly because of his hot accent. But, mostly, I just liked listening to what he had to say.

I saw just how smart and driven and incredibly ambitious he is.

Listening to Liam talk about his company and his business plans for the future made me happy.

I knew I wouldn’t be here to see it all happen, but at least I knew that he’d be happy, doing what he loved.

I truly had the best night with him. But then again, every night…every moment spent with Liam was amazing.

I’m so thankful that I met him. I couldn’t imagine being here without him and completing my list without him. The thought of taking Liam out of the equation…makes the list seem dull.

He’s added color to my life. He’s brightened up the time I have left, and for that—though he’ll never know—I will be eternally grateful to him.

After we finished dinner and I was obscenely full and a little drunk, Paul drove us back to Liam’s apartment.

Liam and I just made it inside his apartment before we started having sex. It wasn’t like when we’d ended up doing it against his front door, but it was just as hot.

He carried me to the sofa, and I rode him to climax while still wearing my dress and heels.

After sex, he carried me to the bathroom. He set me down on my feet, took my dress off, and turned on the shower. We spent time washing each other. When the soap was all rinsed off of him, I got down on my knees, took his cock in my mouth, and let him fuck my mouth.

After the blow job and shower was over, we got out and dried off.

We got in bed, and as it turned out, we weren’t done because we ended up having sex again.

Clearly, I can’t get enough of the man.

But the sex was different that time. It was slower. Not the crazy sex or frantic fucking we normally did.

It was passionate and intense.

After we both came, Liam stayed inside me for a really long time, just holding me and kissing me, before he eventually had to move to clean up.

When he was finished, he came back to bed and wrapped me up in his strong arms, and that was where I slept all night.

But not now, as I’m alone in bed, and the space where Liam was is empty and cold.

I open my eyes and look at the clock on the nightstand. Squishy and Ducky are sitting beside it. I smile at the memory of the carnival and the fun we had in the Hook a Duck tent.

The clock reads seven fifteen. Too early for me.

Part of me wants to put my head under the pillow and go back to sleep, but the bed feels weirdly empty without Liam here, and my head has started buzzing a little. I really hope it’s the aftereffects of the champagne last night, as I really don’t want to deal with a headache right now.

I didn’t have one at all yesterday, not even a twinge. So, I worry that I might pay for that today.

I should get something to drink, rehydrate, and try my best to ward off a coming headache.

But I know all the water in the world won’t fix what causes my head to scream in pain.

Getting up, I reach for Liam’s shirt, which he tossed on the floor last night, and pull it on, fastening up some of the buttons.

It’s all wrinkled, but it smells of him, and that’s what I like—having Liam’s scent all around me.

I use the bathroom and head into the kitchen, as that’s where I usually find him. But the kitchen’s empty.

I check the living room, but he’s not there either.

Considering the amount of time that I’ve spent in Liam’s apartment, I haven’t checked it all out. I’ve seen the living room, kitchen, guest bathroom, and Liam’s bedroom—multiple times—but that’s it.

I pad down the hall, my feet cold against the hardwood floor after leaving the warmth of his plush bedroom carpet. I walk past the guest bedroom and pause at the doorway of the guest bathroom that I used the first night I came here.

God, that seems so long ago. In reality though, it was only a handful of days ago.

It’s like time has slowed down since I met Liam. I’m thankful for that. If these two weeks with him end up feeling like a lifetime, then I will forever be grateful for that.

I just pray the tumor lets me last that long.

Truth is, I don’t know how long I have left. Could be months. Weeks. Days…

And that’s why I have to make this time, here right now, count.