“The headaches—has Taylor ever told you what causes them?” Eddie asks me, that fucking caution back in his voice.
“She had a brain tumor when she was sixteen,” I say, staring down at her. “She said the headaches are a lingering result of that.” But, as I say those words, as I hear them out loud, coming from my own mouth, it’s like I’m slowly slipping underwater.
The headaches.
Her list.
Things to Do Before I Die.
Fuck…no.
I meet Eddie’s eyes, and I see it written there. He thinks…
Jesus, Taylor.
No.
“No,” I say, my eyes filling with tears. I pull her closer to me, holding her close. “It’s not that. It’s not—no.” I firmly shake my head. “If the tumor were back, I would have known. She would have told me.”
Wouldn’t she?
“You’re probably right.” He doesn’t mean that. I can hear it in his voice. The dip in his tone. The way he flickers a glance at Cam. The concern in his eyes when he looks back down at Taylor.
My Taylor.
I hear the scream of an ambulance siren approaching in the distance.
“She’s going to be okay,” Cam says to me. His hand touches my shoulder and squeezes.
I stare blankly at him. Then, I take my eyes back down to Taylor’s beautiful face.
She looks like she’s sleeping.
Pain lances through me. I shut my eyes against the onslaught of emotions.
My mind is running wild with everything she has ever said to me.
“Babe, you’re rubbing cream onto my arse and singing Bieber’s ‘Sorry.’ Really not sure how to feel about that.”
“Maybe I am sorry.”
Sorry. What was she sorry for? The tattoo—back then, I thought that was what it was. But, now, I’m not so sure.
“I’m sorry. I…I can’t stay with you.”
“Two weeks. Two weeks, and that was supposed to be it.”
“You weren’t supposed to fall in love.”
“Don’t talk about you dying so flippantly. Someone like you is meant to live forever.”
She wrote a list.
A list of things to do before she dies.
Jesus. No.
Why didn’t you tell me, Taylor? Why?
She’s sick. She’s dy—
The thought is like a hole being punched through my chest.
No, I can’t—I won’t accept this.
I won’t lose her. Not my Boston.
Why didn’t I see it before now? I should’ve paid more attention.
I hate myself in this moment. Really and truly hate myself.
The pain I’m feeling is like nothing I have ever felt before. It’s unbearable.
Heartbreakingly fucking unbearable.
I can’t lose Taylor. I won’t survive it if I do.
Then, the paramedics are here, and they’re taking her from my arms, laying her flat on the floor. One is checking her over. The other is asking me questions, but I can’t speak. Eddie takes over, answering the questions.
And then she’s being moved. Put on a stretcher and taken out of the bar.
Away from me.
No!
I try to go with her, but they won’t let me.
“We’ll follow in my car,” Cam says, pulling me back.
Then, he and Eddie are guiding me out of the bar and into Cam’s car. We’re following the ambulance where the only woman I’ve ever truly loved lies inside, and she might be dying.
Dying.
I shut my eyes.
Don’t die, Taylor.
Please don’t die.
“Taylor Shaw’s family?”
I’m on my feet and walking over to the doctor who just called out Taylor’s name.
She looks young, about the same age as Taylor. I know she isn’t though. Because of Eddie, I know how long doctors have to train.
The doctor looks similar to Taylor. Small, petite, blonde hair—well, except Taylor’s hair is pink now.
But she could be Taylor.
Only she couldn’t be. Because there is no one like Taylor.
She’s one of a kind.
My one of a kind.
“How is she?”
“You’re Taylor’s family?”
“He’s her brother.” Eddie’s voice comes from behind me, his hand pressing down on my shoulder.
Immediately, it clicks in my head why he’s said that. They won’t tell me anything unless I’m family.
She doesn’t have a family anymore.
But she has me…whether she wants me or not.
“I’m her brother,” I confirm. “How is she?” The urgency is clear in my voice.
“I’m Dr. March. I’ve been caring for Taylor since she arrived.”
“I don’t fucking care what your name is. I want to know how Taylor is.”
“Liam…” Eddie’s voice is a gentle warning.
I scrub my hands over my face. “I’m sorry.” I blow out a breath. “I just need to know that she’s okay.”
I’ve been here for hours with no news at all. With the waiting, fear has built up inside me to the point of explosion.
“Let’s talk in here.” Dr. March gestures to the door.
I follow her through, my heart beating. Cam and Eddie are with me.
She looks at them with unease.
“You can talk in front of them.” My tone is impatient. I’ve waited long enough now.
“I’m a doctor here at the hospital—Dr. Breckon, Cardiology,” Eddie tells her.