Her lovely new friendships would dissolve as swiftly as her ones in Boston had.
Adelaide examined her a bit closer, but she did not press. “If you like to dance, I’m surprised you have not done it. Baldwin seemed to be taking a turn with all the unmarried ladies, though I do not see him here at present.”
Helena swallowed. “Sheffield was dancing with the eligible ladies.”
“You are not eligible? Are you married and we did not know it?”
“No.” Helena shook her head. “You are all lovely to pretend that I’m in the same sphere as you are, but it isn’t true. I’m not eligible because I’m here as a companion. Even if I weren’t I am certainly out of Baldwin—er, Sheffield’s league.”
Adelaide shrugged. “Emma felt the same way about James. Certainly I did with Graham. You would be surprised how little you know about men and what they want in their hearts. I think they are often surprised when it runs them over like an out-of-control phaeton. At least that is how Graham describes his feelings for me. Romantic, though a bit violent, I keep telling him.”
Helena stared. “I have seen Emma with Abernathe. They are so deeply in love. And right now your husband is staring at you like you are a chocolate and he’s a starving man.”
Adelaide glanced over her shoulder again, and she shivered ever so slightly as she noticed the look on Graham’s face. “The love you see now does not change the circumstances of our beginnings. I’m just saying, don’t count yourself out when it comes to Baldwin.”
“It’s different with me,” Helena whispered, and ducked her head. “With us.”
Adelaide lifted a hand and covered her smile briefly. When Helena’s lips parted, she shook her head. “I know I’m laughing, but it isn’t at you. It’s just that I bet Meg a pound that you’d say just that. So she owes me and I thank you, for I’ll shamelessly hold it over her head.”
Helena forced a smile. She saw the humor, but Adelaide didn’t know the circumstances. The barriers that could never, ever be crossed.
“Chances at happiness come so rarely, Helena,” Adelaide said, gentler now as she took both Helena’s hands. “Don’t discount even their possibility, or there will be nothing worth looking forward to.”
Helena sighed, and her mind filled for a brief moment with those possibilities. With more kisses in gardens. With that connection that had been instantaneous and so powerful that it had set her on her heels in surprise.
“I suppose you are right,” she found herself whispering. “I appreciate the support anyway.”
“It’s yours,” Adelaide said. “From all of us.” She grinned. “Now here comes my lovely husband and Simon.”
Helena wiped her emotions away and smiled as the men joined them. Graham immediately reached out and settled his hand into the small of Adelaide’s back. Their love was palpable in that moment, and Helena was even more jealous of her new friend’s obvious happiness.
“Helena was just telling me how much she likes to dance,” Adelaide said.
“Ah,” Simon said with a smile for her. “Well, I am the best dancer in our group.”
“And the most modest,” Graham said with a laugh.
“You shouldn’t talk the way you lumber,” Simon said with a roll of his eyes in Helena’s direction.
“I take offense to that—my husband has never lumbered in his life,” Adelaide said.
Helena wondered at it all. They were all so playful and funny, and they included her so effortlessly. And it was bewitching to pretend she could belong with them. Now or in the future.
Simon shook his head. “Ignore them, they are simply jealous of my skills. I would be delighted to share the next with you, unless you have another partner in mind.”
Helena glanced to the door where Baldwin had left the ballroom moments before. Then she smiled at Simon. “I would be honored, Your Grace, as long as Meg wouldn’t mind.”
“Oh, she wouldn’t,” he said as he offered her an arm and led her to the dancefloor. But as they began the intricate steps of the jig the orchestra played next, Helena couldn’t help but think once more of Baldwin’s face when he left the ballroom.
And wish that she could find a way to help him. Even though that wasn’t her place.
Baldwin stared at the letter that had been left on his desk for what had to be the tenth time in a half hour. The words swam, just as they had from the first moment he read them. Now he could hardly see them, but it didn’t matter.
They were seared onto his soul, statements he would never forget even if he tried with all his might.
“‘The missing debts have been found,’” he said out loud, flinching as his hands began to shake. “‘Or their previous whereabouts were discovered, held by three gentlemen.’”
He swallowed as he got up and tossed the letter aside. He’d been waiting to hear this, to know who held his fate in their hands, who could drop the guillotine on his neck.
Only the men who had owned those debts no longer did. They’d sold them, all on the same day, all through the same solicitor.
Which meant that one man probably held them now. Someone who had discovered and purchased the debts in a calculated way and protected his identity through the solicitor, who refused to give Baldwin’s man any further information, including terms of repayment.
It turned his stomach to think of what the intentions of such a man might be. To think of the nightmares he could create with a flick of his wrist.
Baldwin paced to the sideboard and pulled out a bottle of scotch. He didn’t bother with a glass, but slung himself into the seat before the fire and took a long swig. He should go back to his party, but right now he couldn’t even think of roaming around amongst prospects and friends, pretending to be well when his head was spinning and his heart hurting.
Right now he wanted to forget. And this was the best way he knew how.
Helena crept up the quiet hallway, her skirt fisted in her hand as she looked from one closed door to the next, trying to find some hint as to where she should go.
It had been hours since Baldwin’s departure from the ballroom, his face pinched and pained. She’d waited for him to come back, trying to pretend like his whereabouts meant nothing to her. It became harder and harder as the whispers started. The questions as to why their host had abandoned the party so abruptly.
She’d seen the worry on Charlotte’s face and on the Duchess of Sheffield’s as they made excuses and exchanged looks. With every moment, Helena’s desire to help Baldwin grew. And now, with the party winding to a close and her cousin returning to their room to be helped to bed by her maid, Helena knew this was her only chance to do so.