Which was amazing when you considered how different we were, how unalike. He was successful and confident and maybe a little tragic. I was floundering and boring. Not to mention insecure. He had a complicated past with women landmarking the way. I hadn’t been in a serious relationship since college, and my only booty call option was spin class. He had known he was interested in me the second he saw me and I’d waited this long to realize I should not let him go.
I should hold on to him for the rest of my forever and trust that he would do the same to me.
So that’s what I did. Or at least for tonight. I clung to him as we explored each other’s bodies. We kissed and touched, finding creative ways to lose ourselves in each other. Beneath my mural, on his restaurant floor, we found new, exciting ways to push and pull. And when at last we collapsed next to each other satisfied and yet savoring every second of it, I knew I had lost myself completely in Ezra Baptiste.
And I wasn’t scared of that at all.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I closed another email from Henry and resisted the urge to scream at my computer. The important thing was that I was able to keep all of my rage and fury and bitterness bottled up. Everybody knew keeping the angry feelings inside was the best way to handle tough situations.
Although, apparently I needed to practice because Emily immediately lifted her head and gave me a funny look. “You okay, Slugger?”
Stacking loose papers with the grace of a charging hippopotamus, I glared at her. “You are so lucky you didn’t call me something gross. Like doll face or hot stuff. I might have reflexively punched you in the junk on accident.”
She pursed her lips like a fish. “You could have tried.” Then more seriously, with her nose wrinkled she asked, “What does the little Tucker want now?”
I rolled my eyes. “For me to work late tonight. Because even though Black Soul has rejected all of my interesting ideas to ensure they become the most boring record label on the planet, Henry wants to go over my graphics. Again. He wants me to plan on a late night.”
“Weren’t you in there yesterday doing the same thing?”
I nodded. “And every day this week. He has a serious control freak problem. Also, a massive touching problem.”
Her eyebrows shot up to her hair line. “Is he still being inappropriate?”
My head dropped back and I stared at the ceiling. “He’s awful. I hate him.”
“Molly, what are you going to do?”
Her voice was a concerned whisper. She wanted me to go to HR again. But I’d already been twice and both times Doris had shrugged me off. I didn’t think a third time would matter. I didn’t think three thousand times would matter.
Doris was protecting her job and by proxy Henry. As long as he didn’t cross the line to full on sexual assault, she was going to let all the small things slide.
Only they didn’t feel like small things to me. They didn’t feel petty or forgetful or insignificant. They felt horrible.
I hated being the object of Henry’s unwanted attention. I loathed the way he would casually bump into me, pressing his body against mine for way longer than was appropriate. I hated that his eyes were always on my boobs, talking to them, staring at them, following them around wherever they went. I wanted to scream every time he made an inappropriate joke or called me a gross pet name.
He was out of line, and he behaved as though he was exempt from real world consequences. Maybe Doris wasn’t going to do anything about it, but I wasn’t going to take it either.
Fine, it had taken me this long to find the courage to truly stand up to him, but I had finally arrived. Watch out world.
I blamed Ezra. Ever since our conversation and intimate night at Bianca a little over a week ago, I hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that I was finally comfortable in my adult life, in my own skin. There was something suddenly so right about my apartment, my car, and my boyfriend, that I could almost overlook just how not right my job was.
Okay, the job was a big part of being a grown-up. But it was also something I’d let go of too. It didn’t need to be the absolute defining feature in my life. I’d released some of my mother’s voice and the expectations she’d placed on me to always be successful—at the cost of every other happiness.
She meant well, but that didn’t make her right. Ezra had helped me see that. Maybe I couldn’t totally believe it just yet. There was still lingering doubt, and years and years of performing and pleasing and pacifying. It would take a lot of work to get me in a healthier head space about who I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I’d decided to borrow Ezra’s confidence and freedom until they felt like mine.
He said he’d learned that from his dad and their relationship. His dad had been very successful in business, but lonely in life. He hadn’t even known Ezra’s mom had gotten pregnant. She was a fling that Ezra’s dad, Immanuel, had met through mutual friends. It wasn’t until those friends revealed her secret years later, that Immanuel had started the tedious, frustrating process of finding Ezra. And when he found him it had been too late to rescue him from some of the hardest challenges any child should face.
His dad had brought Ezra to his house and given him a job, sent him to college and introduced him to his soon-to-be-beloved, little sister. And then he’d died, leaving Ezra almost everything. For as heartless as his dad seemed, he had a true knack for business.
Which Ezra obviously inherited.
We’d spent the last week sharing more and more about our lives, getting to know each other, learning the ins and outs of each other’s past, present and imagined future. And we’d been spending a fair amount of time kissing.
There had been a lot of kissing. And to be honest, a whole lot more than just kissing. The man drove me crazy. He was stubborn and impossible and so irresistible I wanted to scream.
Or maybe, I did scream. But like in a hotter, more consensual context.
“Hey, if you see Ethan can you send him to the office?” I asked Emily as I got ready to head to Henry’s lair.
She frowned, glancing around. “I think he’s out today. One of his kids is sick or something.”
“Argh,” I growled. “Kids are so annoying.” At her giggle, I added. “Just kidding. Only Ethan’s kids are annoying.” That garnered me a few dirty looks from surrounding coworkers. But I didn’t see any of them spending a whole lot of time with Henry alone in his office, so they could just save their judgment for someone else. “Are you heading out soon?” I asked her.
She nodded. “I am. I have a hair appointment tonight.”
“That’s exciting,” I told her, jealous that she got to go do something fun and relaxing while I had to sit with Henry Tucker all evening and dissect all the work I’d done that he wanted to take credit for. “Are you going lavender again?”
She pulled her hair over her shoulder, examining the faded ends of it. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”
“I think you should go full mermaid. You would look amazing. And I would have epic hair envy.”
Her grin turned into a laugh. “Well, then it’s worth it.”
“Glad you see things my way.” I stood up, clutching my various necessities to my chest. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Hey, Molly.” Her serious tone made me pause. “Be careful, okay?”