‘Hell, yes!’
We laughed at my keenness, and went to The Malt Shovel rather than The Poacher, not because there was slightly less risk of us being seen together there, but because I needed a drink. Needed it immediately – and frankly didn’t give a toss who saw me.
After a double vodka, things felt calmer. More focused. Glenn bought me another.
‘For medicinal purposes.’ He shrugged, smiling gently. ‘You’ve been through so much.’
I nodded. Took a warming gulp of my drink.
‘Better now?’
‘Much. Thank you.’
A moment passed. Glenn checked his watch, then put his head on one side as if something had just occurred to him.
‘What I don’t understand is why Chloe didn’t mention any of this business with Beth and James Harvey. I mean, surely at some point Beth confided in her? They’re best friends, right? Maybe you should ask her. Have it out with her. Now that Harvey’s been arrested, there’s no point in her keeping quiet, is there? Maybe she’ll finally tell the truth now.’
He was right. The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I grew. I didn’t like this talk, though. It made me wonder what other secrets you had, Beth.
‘Chloe’s a kid, really,’ I justified.
‘Old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Sorry, I’m getting all overprotective of you. But if she’d been a bit more honest, then maybe James could have been caught earlier. Not that it makes any real difference, does it?’
No, no difference at all. But I found myself swallowing down my drink quickly as I noticed what time it was.
‘I’m, er, going to get off now.’
‘Oh, right. Want a lift?’
I asked him to drop me off on the other side of the village from my house. He thought it was to avoid us being seen together. In reality I needed to be somewhere.
His words danced around, taunting as I pulled my hood up against the wind and walked towards a bus stop.
Forty-Three
The bus pulled up and I stepped aside to make room for the sole person getting off.
‘Hello, Chloe. I’d like a word with you, if you don’t mind.’
She looked confused, but nodded. ‘Sure thing, Mrs Oak. Is Beth, er, is Beth getting any better?’
I closed my eyes for a second, fighting the urge to snap that she could go and visit you if she were that curious about your health. That would have been unfair of me; Chloe was fourteen, only four months older than you, Beth.
Old enough to know better. The words in my head taunted me.
‘I wanted to ask you about James Harvey—’ I began.
‘Everyone’s talking about his arrest!’
‘You’ve heard already?’ Word always spread fast around here, but this was impressive even by the village’s usual standards.
‘My mum’s cousin saw him being led away in handcuffs from his flat in Wapentake, and she texted Mum. So Mum texted me at school, and my mate Sonya’s best friend’s auntie says we’re not to tell anyone but that it is definitely true. She’s a cleaner at the police station,’ she added. ‘Yes. It was a shock—’
‘Was it?’ The words shot out. ‘Surely you must have known something was going on between them. Why didn’t you say anything?’
It sounded like an accusation, but it was too late to take the words back.
‘Mrs Oak, it didn’t seem that big a deal…’
‘It didn’t… ? I’m flabbergasted. A man of twenty-four with a girl ten years his junior? Part of you must have known you should have told someone about what was going on.’
She seemed to be thinking.
‘Chloe…’
Reached a decision. ‘Mrs Oak, you’re so right. I should have been honest. But Beth kept a lot of it secret from me too.’
Suddenly she started to cry. ‘I’m sorry,’ she sniffed, still looking me square in the eye as the tears poured down her face. ‘I didn’t know what to do, had no idea things had gone so far. Like, I mean, if the rumours are true that they slept together… well, Beth definitely didn’t tell me that. And I… I’d have done anything, anything to stop what happened to her.’
She gave a huge sob. I wrapped her in my arms, consumed with guilt.
‘It’s not your responsibility to look after her. It’s mine. I’m so sorry, I should never have spoken to you like this,’ I apologised.
Chloe is taller than you, Beth – where you are as slim and lithe as a willow switch, she’s sturdier, has a more womanly figure. But holding her reminded me so much of hugging my daughter that I was overwhelmed by loss. I missed you, Beth. Sitting by your seemingly lifeless form was torturous.
When will I hug you again and feel you hug me back?
We stood in the lane, a teenager and a grieving mum comforting each other, for several minutes. Finally, each sniffing, we broke apart.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she repeated.
‘No, no, I should be apologising to you. Anyway, you’d better get home or you’ll be late. I don’t want your mum worrying.’ I knew the horror of that worry all too well, and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I watched her walk up the lane towards the lilac house, and didn’t move until I saw her go up the garden path and let herself in. I would not let history repeat itself.
She waved before she closed the door.
Forty-Four
BETH
WEDNESDAY 20 JANUARY
They stood side by side, waiting for the bus to pull away so that they could cross the road. Beth had never stood so close to Aleksy before. Wow, he was tall, she realised; she only came up to his chest.
The silence between them was awkward.
Aleksy, Chloe and she had been talking about music on the fifteen-minute bus journey home from school in Wapentake, but now it was just the two of them, it felt too intimate somehow to continue the conversation. Beth didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. Sometimes his look was so intense it made her shiver. From the corner of her eye she saw him pulling nervously at his rucksack straps, hooking his thumbs beneath them.
A belch of black smoke and the bus lurched forward. Beth only had time to lift one foot to move before Aleksy spoke.
‘Are you definitely going on Friday night, then? I’ll see you there?’
‘Um, yeah.’ The reply was a squeak as Beth hurried off.
The next day at school Chloe kept nudging her and asking what Aleksy had said.
‘I saw the two of you chatting as the bus pulled off,’ she whispered during English. ‘Come on, spill – what did he want?’
Beth put her finger to her lips then pointed to the teacher, who was bound to catch them talking.
Chloe wasn’t giving up, though.
‘Hey. Hey! Have you still got the hots for that guitar teacher as well? Shit, juggling two blokes! Look! You’re blushing! You go bright red every time I mention his name. Beth fancies her teacher.’ The last was in a sing-song whisper.