I had been.
“Coo-y?n took me to the graves you made for me and pauvre défunte Selena.” Dearly departed. “He told me you were goan to make your way with Domīnija. I wanted that for you, no matter how much the idea twisted me up inside me.”
Jack loved me more than he loved his own life. I’d known that, but it’d never been so apparent as now.
“I told Matthew to keep my survival secret and let me stay buried.”
“Well, he didn’t. More than a month ago, he sent me a message of your voice. I thought you might . . . I prayed you’d survived.”
“What the hell’s he playing at?” Then, seeming to steel himself, he said, “Knowing what I did then, I’d still make the same choice.”
My lips parted. “How can you say that?”
“Before the Hanged Man, you had to have been happy with the Reaper. You wear his ring.”
“I walled off part of my heart.” I’d loved Aric, but it must’ve been muted by my pain, by the tourniquet I’d used to keep from bleeding out. Twist, tighten, constrict. “I could never give him all of my heart—and he knew that. He thought my powers were suffering because I never fully grieved you.” Holding Jack’s gaze, I said, “I chose you.”
“And you shouldn’t have!” He threw a rock into the fire. “Doan you get it? You were goan to have Death either way—either you’d be with the Reaper or you’d die out here with me.”
“I’m out here with you now. Of course, you’re probably just passing by. At least I’ll get to say good-bye this time.”
Jack looked at me like I’d just blasphemed. “I woan rest until you’re safely out of the Ash. Which means I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back into that castle.”
“Even try to defeat Death?”
Hesitation. “Matthew told me the Reaper saved your life when Richter struck. That true?”
I nodded.
“When I was in that slaver hellhole, fearing I’d gotten you killed, I told myself that Domīnija is fast with strong senses. I told myself that he would have ridden out and rescued you from Richter. I think that was the only reason I didn’t lose my mind down there.”
“He did save me. I was running into the fire when he caught me and yanked me back at the edge.”
Jack flinched. “I’m torn. I want to kill Domīnija for hurting you. But how can I when he saved your life?”
I’m torn too. I was pissed that Jack continued to make unilateral decisions, but I also realized that Matthew had manipulated him for his own reasons. Jack would’ve been sick and exhausted—his confidence rocked to the core by the massacre—when Matthew had struck a blow as well. Still . . . “You were really going to let me believe you died. You were never going to see me again.”
“Noble cuts like a blade to the heart.” He raked his fingers through his thick black hair. “I wanted to do right by you, but all I did was put you back in the Ash. I left you with a man who would try to murder you just months later.”
One who’d knocked me up—then tried to murder me. “The things I did to bring you back . . .”
“I couldn’t have stopped you, no, couldn’t have communicated with you. I was trapped in that mine.”
He was right. I exhaled, unable to maintain my anger over Jack’s choice. It was a sacrifice born from love. Matthew’s actions, however— Riiiinnnnngggg. The phone sounded from outside.
Kentarch jogged back in. “It’s him.”
Joules was on his heels, sparking angrily. “I got some choice words to say to that fecker. And to the Hanged Man.”
Surprised to feel my claws tingling, I snapped, “Let it ring.” Beg, Aric? Beg?
Kentarch raised his brows. The phone eventually fell silent.
Then . . . Riiiinnnnngggg. Aric wasn’t going to stop.
“Oh, fine. I’ll get it.” I accepted the phone and connected the call. “This is Evie speaking. How can I help you?”
Aric’s raspy voice carried over the line: “How long have you known he lived?”
“I got my first wave of hope on the night we picked up Finn. Matthew contacted me. My nose bled from his message.”
“And you felt no need to reveal that to your husband? Yet more evidence that our relationship was not what you pretended it to be.”
“I’d planned to tell you everything after Paul’s banishment. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Jack is alive, and he brought us a feast.”
“Such a change in your demeanor from earlier.”
My cheeks burned as I replayed that call. Aric had once called me a goddess, had said I’d felled armies. Yet, I’d sniveled like a child: I-I wanna come home. “Disregard everything that I said before.”
“Enjoyed your dinner, then?”
“Did I ever! And the company too.”
“Fauna was proud of that lion. You ate her symbolic creature, the beast that marks her card, her very tableau.”
“And it was mm, mm good! Please give her our compliments. I just don’t know what she did to raise such a tender lion, but the meat was exceptional.” Joules snickered. “Food on the road can be a wonderful surprise. You should get out more.”
In the background I heard wolves howling. Lark howling.
“You enrage the Queen of Beasts at your peril. She’s hunting you even now.”
“She’d already been hunting me. She believes—wrongly—that I killed Finn.”
“Still in denial, poisoness?”
“I’d love to chat and receive some more servings of your hatred, but I’d rather catch up with Jack.”
“Have you told him about our fictitious offspring?” His dry laugh gave me goose bumps.
“I plan to.”
Jack called, “Tell him I’m about to get real cozy with his wife. If he doan like that, then he should come do something about it. Tell him to quit hiding behind that sphere comme un lache.” Like a coward.
I could hear Aric crushing something. Could he be lured out from that castle? “Oh, Death doesn’t care what I do. He forsook me. Destroyed the ring I made for him. Guess I’m single now.”
“The mortal courts his doom,” Aric grated. “You want him so much, I’ll take both of your heads with one strike.”
“You’ll have to come find us first.”
“Which is just what you want. You won’t taunt me into action, Empress.”
Then why even make that comment? Was he worried he might be goaded into doing something rash? Silence stretched between us. As I wondered what he was thinking, my temper began to fade. Though I’d eaten and regenerated, my emotions still seemed to be all over the place. Pregnancy emotions were supposed to be crazy, right?
Thanks, kid. The gift that kept on giving.
I told the guys, “I’ll be back in a minute.” Ignoring Jack’s frown, I walked out of the cave into the freezing dark.
“Listen, Aric.” I kept my voice low. “You once told me that you wished for the impossible: for me to have chosen you. If you come for me now”—I squeezed my eyes closed—“I’ll choose you.” Somehow I said those words, even as my chest ached at the thought of having to say good-bye again to Jack.