“Me, too.”
I let her eat and found my eyes wandering around the room. Kile was my opposite in that he was humble where I was proud. Henri was my opposite in that he saw everything as a joy where I focused on the challenge. Ean, Fox, Gunner … there was an element in each of them that would fall on the other side of my spectrum.
“Is the French girl like that for Ahren?” Grandma asked with no attempt to hide her disdain.
I considered this. “No, actually. It’s like they’re two halves of the same heart in different bodies.” My eyes welled. I was so tired, and I missed him so much. “I can’t begin to tell you how much he loves her.”
She grumbled. “Enough to leave.”
I exhaled slowly. “Exactly, Grandma. It hurt him so much to be apart from her that he would endure the pain of leaving his family, his home, and his country, not even knowing how that would all be received, just to be with her.”
She recognized the sadness in my voice and reached out her hand to mine.
“You all right, honey?”
I pulled myself together. “Of course. A little tired is all. I should go rest.” Just then Kaden and Osten came running in, giving me a perfect escape. “The boys will take you to Mom.”
She shrieked in delight. “My boys!”
I backed away while she was distracted, walking quietly down the side of the room until I got to Henri.
I tapped him on his shoulder, and he looked up from his meal, that ever-present smile on his face. “Hello today!”
I chuckled. “Would you like to join me for lunch tomorrow?”
I waited for Erik to jump in, but Henri held up a hand, concentrating. “Tomorrow, lunch?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good, good! Yes!”
I smiled. “See you then.”
I left the room, peeking back to see Henri clutching Erik by the shoulder, elated by the invitation. He seemed so pleased to have made it through the interaction without needing a translation, too. Erik nodded at Henri, pleased for his friend … but I’d seen him smile brighter than that before.
I looked at the clock. Ten after midnight. If I fell asleep right now, I could get about five hours of sleep.
Ten minutes later it was clear that wasn’t going to happen. I used to be so good at shutting off my mind for the day, but now it seemed like every task I was halfway through stayed with me until it was done, not caring if I was well rested enough to tackle it.
I slipped on my robe, combed my fingers through my hair, and stepped barefoot into the hallway. Perhaps if I went to the office I could do some work and appease my brain, and then I could get back to bed. But if I was going to do that, I needed coffee.
It was too late for any maids to be on duty, so I headed to the kitchen. It seemed it was never empty down there, and I was sure someone would help me. Rounding the landing on the second floor, I leaped back, startled by the figure coming right at me.
“Oh!” Erik said, suddenly realizing someone was in his path.
I pulled my robe a little tighter, though I was fully covered, and swept back my hair, hoping to seem less surprised than I had been.
He backed up, fidgeted with his hands a second, and then bowed abruptly. It was such a rushed, sloppy gesture that I couldn’t help but laugh.
He smiled a little himself, shaking his head at the silliness of the moment. He, too, was in his pajamas—striped-blue pants and a plain cotton shirt—and wandering the palace in bare feet.
“What in the world are you doing up at this hour?” I asked.
“Henri has been working especially hard on his English since you announced the Elite. And with a date tomorrow, he wanted to be extra prepared. We only quit for the day a few minutes ago, and I was heading to the kitchen for some tea and honey. Honey is supposed to make you sleep well.” He said all this in a low, hurried voice, as if he was worried he might bore me.
“Is it? I might have to try that tomorrow. I was actually just going to the kitchen for coffee.”
“Your Highness, I feel you’re a very bright woman, so it pains me to tell you that coffee will not help you sleep. Not at all.”
I giggled. “No, I know. I was going to get some work done. I haven’t been sleeping, so I thought I might as well be useful.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re always useful. Even when you sleep.”
I ducked my head, moving around the banister, and he followed me down the steps. All I could think of was how drab he had seemed that first day, a grayed-out shadow of a person. I knew now his plainness was his shield, hiding how smart, thoughtful, and funny he was. Though I still didn’t understand the choice, I knew there was more to him than he let most people see.