“Everyone you healed at Omega base was a willing recruit. They knew what was going to happen and volunteered for it. They want to fight for you, Kit. For the good of this world.” He spoke with such passion I knew there had to be more that he wasn’t telling me. What made him so confident that the world was doomed without my intervention?
“I think I need a minute,” I muttered, rubbing my gritty eyes. “I’m going to take a shower or something.”
“Probably a good idea,” Jonathan nodded. “You stink pretty bad. I’ll order some pizzas, too, so you can eat when you’re done.”
The information he’d just hit me with weighed on me like a ton of bricks, so I just waved my hand in understanding and started toward the door before pausing. Not giving myself another moment to dwell on indecision, I grabbed the mug of coffee from the desk and made my way back to the room I’d been holed up in for the past few days.
My pain and grief were safely stuffed into a little mental box, and my walls were all still firmly in place around my mind. Not that I didn’t want the guys to feel me... but I couldn’t face the idea of not feeling Wesley there. It was just better to keep the walls up for now.
After a long shower, I dressed in clean clothes, then hunted out another one of Wesley’s pullovers. I might have been compartmentalizing my grief, but I still wanted to feel him close.
“Pepperoni with extra cheese!” Jonathan announced as I padded into the kitchen on socked feet. Not that it needed announcing; the smell alone was making my starved stomach weep with joy.
“Thanks,” I murmured, taking the plate loaded with slices from him and sitting down on a kitchen stool. “I’ll try and get in touch with the guys tomorrow... somehow. They need to know what’s going on, too.”
“Agreed.” He took a bite of his own slice as he sat across the counter from me. “Then maybe you would consider speaking with some of the Omega recruits who have volunteered to be changed.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “But it won’t do much good right now. I have no magic thanks to this.” I held up my wrist to show him the gold band responsible for my loss of magic. “Gift from my bio-mom.”
“Bridget,” Jonathan spat, inspecting the band with disgust then releasing my wrist. “That bitch. I knew she’d find you sooner or later.”
My eyebrows shot up. “You know her?”
“We’ve met.” His mouth twisted in disgust. “Don’t fall for her bullshit, kiddo. I can just bet she pulled some sob story to have you think she was the victim, that she gave you up for your own good.” I gaped at him, nodding. “Load of shit. You want the truth, find Lachlan. He’s the only one of her guardians that escaped her binding spell when things went south between the four of them.”
“You can’t tell me?” I frowned. “It sounds like you know.”
He shook his head. “Not enough. It’s another story for another day anyway. You’ve had enough dumped on your plate for one night. Just don’t trust her any further than you can throw her.”
“Noted,” I agreed. “This little gem that she gave me sort of decided that already, you know?”
“Yeah, I can imagine. No magic, huh?” He crinkled his nose. “Want to tell me that story?”
“Story for another day,” I teased, repeating his own crap back at him, and he grinned.
“Touché,” he chuckled. “All right, will you be okay if I head out for a bit? International secret operative organization to run, and all that.”
“Uh-huh.” I rolled my eyes at him. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to go to bed now anyway.”
“All right.” He wiped his hands off on a dish towel, then dropped a quick kiss on my head. “Call if you need me.” He pulled a mobile phone from one of the drawers and placed it on the counter in front of me before he left.
Alone in the silence, I finished up my pizza, then wandered through the house. I wasn’t actually tired yet, so instead of going to bed, I parked myself on the couch to watch TV for a bit. As I sat there mindlessly watching a rom-com chick flick that Wes would have loved, my fingers stroked my newest tattoo.
The little depiction of Sam and Tyson tussling together was so lifelike, almost like they were glaring at me from my skin.
“We are, dipshit,” Sam’s hiss reached the surface of my brain, and I startled. I’d been so lost in my own head that I’d completely forgotten they could talk to me even while “sleeping.”
“Let us the fuck out so we can save your sorry ass, you mopey twit,” Sam snapped at me, his s’s elongated even more in his foul mood.
“I don’t see how you’re going to manage that, but suit yourself.” I traced my forefinger over the tattoo, activating the spell within it and allowing both familiars to materialize. Sam just hissed at me and went to curl up on the other end of the couch while Tyson was much happier to see me and said as much in licks all over my face.
“Hey buddy,” I chuckled, pushing him off to save myself from drowning in tiger spit. “Let’s go check the kitchen for some steaks or something.”
Tyson eagerly bounded off the couch to follow me as Sam yelled after us, “I would also like a snack if you see a mouse on your way!”
“Gross.” I shuddered, leading Tyson into the kitchen, then rifling through the fridge for steak. “No steak, buddy, but there are some sausages. Will that do?”
The big cat bobbed his head and conveyed a resounding yes through our bond, so I grabbed the plate and headed back to the TV room to place it on the coffee table. As I sat back down, Sam gave a loud, fake cough, which just sounded straight-up odd coming from a giant snake.
“What?” I asked him, and he flickered his tongue at me.
“Mouse?” he prompted, and I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Hunt your own mouse, you lazy ass,” I snapped back. “Why did you want out so badly anyway?”
“Because the not-so-stupid Ink Mage added a tracking device into your familiar tattoo,” Sam explained. “But it only works if we’re active. By letting us out to watch TV with you, you’ve alerted the rest of your fools that you’re no longer in Ireland. They’ll be worried that you haven’t been answering your phone and, ergo, will come to investigate.” He paused, glaring at me with his slitted eyes. “Am I honestly the only one who uses my brain anymore? I’m not even a real snake, for fuck’s sake.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling sufficiently stupid. That was actually a smart idea of Austin to do that. It was only my own self-pity that had stopped it from working sooner.
“‘Oh’ is right, you moron,” Sam grunted, slithering off his seat. “I’m going to find my own snacks. Yell for me when the Mages turn up.”
“Asshole,” I murmured, watching his green-and-black tail disappear out the door. Tyson huffed his agreement as he munched happily on his sausages.
He’d barely finished licking his plate when my ears popped with the unmistakable pressure of a portal opening nearby. I didn’t move from the couch as I heard Caleb calling out my name from the back garden, then the heavy tread of men’s footsteps coming inside.
“Kitty Kat!” he exclaimed, coming into the media room with Austin close behind, and rushing towards me. “Thank fuck you’re okay! We’ve been looking for you for freaking days; do you know how worried you had us?”
His arms wrapped tight around me, and he shifted to lift me into his lap so he could hug me tighter. For my part... I did nothing. I couldn’t hug him back; it just felt wrong. The last person I’d hugged was Wes. And now he was dead.
“Kitty Kat?” Caleb asked, his voice full of concern as he pulled back to look at my face with a frown. “Are you okay?”
My lips pulled up in a tight smile, almost like they were making an independent action, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words he wanted to hear—that yes, I was okay because I was here and not a burned out skeleton in some morgue in Ireland. Because I wasn’t okay. My soul felt like it had been smashed into a million little pieces, then swept up into a shoebox.