The Great White had known what Myrin would become, and the dragon had let it happen without warning. It explained why it’d been so against Randall having a cornerstone.
The betrayal must have stung. Much like it had when they’d kept the truth from me. Gods, these circles we kept spinning in.
“And the Great White saying I wasn’t ready? You told me I needed to prove myself. That it would be enough.”
“I never said it would be enough. I said that you needed to believe in yourself. That when you stood before him, these four dragons pledged to your cause, that he would need to judge you worthy.”
“This… sucks.”
“Eloquent as always.”
“Dude. You and Morgan really suck. All those secrets and then you do the same to me? That was low, bro. So low.”
“And then you somehow decided to do the same,” Randall snarked. “Low blow, bro.”
“Ugh,” I said. “Old people. Stop stealing my youth!” I paused, considering everything I’d learned before shaking my head and sighing. “That must have really irked you when you heard I could speak to dragons. Like, here you are, probably growling in the forest at a dragon the size of a mountain, and then I come along, and I’m all like, what’s up, dude, and the dragons can all understand me.”
“Is it too late to go back up the mountain and forget we ever saw each other?” Pat asked.
“If you decide to go, take me with you,” Randall said.
“I’m like you,” I decided. “Except better. That’s gotta burn, Randall. A young, brave, handsome man like me coming in and doing all this cool shit while you had to be old and decrepit and probably dying a little. You know what? I feel better about a lot of things right now.”
“This is what destiny looks like,” Randall said to Pat.
“How terrible for us all,” she replied. “Mayhap it’s time you leave him to us to let us see what we see.”
“You can’t eat him.”
“I wouldn’t even dream of it. However, does he really need all of those limbs?” She grinned at me, fangs on display.
“Eep,” I squeaked, taking a step back. “Er. Um. I’d really rather keep all my limbs, if you don’t mind. I need them for walking and carrying things. I’m already down one as it is.” I showed her my sling, just in case she’d missed it.
“Fair point,” she said, leaning forward, looking more snakelike than she ever had before. “But you do not need the one between your legs for walking and carrying things. Possibly that one will suffice.”
“Uhh,” I said. “I would prefer to keep that one as well. But the fact that you called it a limb, of all things, is flattering. Thank you.”
“Leslie,” Pat said. “Get down from that youngling. It’s time for us to test the wizard.”
“I really don’t like the sound of that,” I whispered to myself.
Leslie spread her wings, cooing at Kevin one last time. Kevin, for his part, had melted into a gigantic puddle and barely even moved when she lifted off him to land beside her mate. Leslie rubbed her snout against Pat’s neck before she eyed me curiously. “He looks as if he’s petrified. Also confused. What an odd combination.”
“I will leave you to it, then,” Randall said, bowing at the feathered dragons. “Though, just as a word of warning, Sam’s friends tend to be rather vengeful, so it might be prudent to have him returned with all his bits and bobs attached as they are.”
“Pity, that,” Pat growled.
“Quite,” Randall said. “They get rather… screechy when it comes to Sam.” Randall bowed again. “It has been an honor hearing you speak.”
“Aye,” Pat said. “You as well, wizard. We are well met. You need not fear what we’ll do to the boy.”
“Except if I want to squish him because of how adorable he is,” Leslie said. “You can fear that greatly.”
Randall walked past me, stopping briefly to put his hand on my shoulder. “Sam, I trust that you’ll mind your manners.”
“You can’t leave me,” I hissed at him.
“I can,” he said. “And I shall. Kevin, if you please. Come with me. I do believe I have some delightful greens that should fill your belly. Consider it my thanks for saving us after yet another one of Sam’s disastrous plans.”
“Blar gwargh mlargh,” Kevin drooled as he picked himself slowly off the ground.
“How fascinating,” Randall said as they strode toward the castle.
“Randall,” I whisper-shouted. “Randall.”
Of course, as he was a major dick, he ignored me, continuing on toward the castle, Kevin strolling after him.
“Oh my gods, I hate you both so godsdamn much. Revenge! I will have my revenge!”
“Wizard,” a dragon snarled behind me.
I turned slowly to face them.
Chapter 16: Princess Monsoon Rains and Bilrock the Destroyer
WHEN ONE is faced with lesbian feather dragons who have threatened to eat one’s penis and/or squish one’s face, one tends to freeze a little and to be unsure of how to proceed.
And it’s not made easier when, instead of speaking, said lesbian feather dragons just stare.
If there was one thing I didn’t like, it was awkward silences.
I tended to fill them, vomiting words until it was either less awkward or even more so. I didn’t mind which, just as long as it wasn’t silent any longer.
I also didn’t like being stared at like I was a tiny little bug deserving of being squashed (Pat) or like I needed to be scooped up and squeezed until my innards spilled out at either end (Leslie).
But I was good. The silence lasted longer than it usually did.
So, twenty-seven seconds had passed before I said, “So.”
The only other sound was the dragons breathing.
“Yeah,” I said. “I feel like we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot here. Can we start again?”
They didn’t say anything. Which was neat.
“Great!” I said, sweating profusely. “This is just great. Anyway, I’m Sam. Sam of Wilds. Maybe you’ve heard of me?” I blanched. “Not to presume that you would have heard about me. I’m not that big of a deal. My ego isn’t this massive thing in which I assume that no matter where I am, everyone has to know who I am. Wait. But you do have to know who I am. Because of the whole destiny thing. And also because I’ve already told you my name before. Wow. This must be kind of embarrassing for you. But that’s okay! It’s no big deal. We’ll just let bygones be bygones. I mean, after all, I came into your lair where your hoard probably was, and you tried to kill me, so I think we’re probably all squared away now, right?”
“Why is it talking so much?” Leslie whispered to Pat. “And do humans always sweat so profusely? I should think I don’t want to squish him if he is going leak all over me. You know how I feel about things that leak.”
“Ha!” I blurted. “Lesbian jokes. I get it!”
They stared at me.