You have heard of Sam of Wilds. You have heard of his incompetence. You have heard of his crimes. He got the Prince of Verania kidnapped by a dragon who possibly sexually molested our beloved Justin! He broke up the wedding of Rystin, the most powerful couple to have ever been coupled, undoubtedly by using some kind of magical spell! He has wormed his way into the King’s good graces and is poised to take over Crown and country! How long will it be before Morgan of Shadows has an “accident”? How long will it be before Sam of Wilds whispers his honey-pot poison into the King’s ear with nothing holding him back?
THESE ARE THE FACTS:
—Sam of Wilds was pulled from the slums and placed in the castle to potentially become one of the most powerful people in Verania, and yet no one has provided a birth certificate to show that he was ACTUALLY BORN IN VERANIA! Why haven’t we seen this? It is written into the laws of Verania that only a Veranian-born may hold positions considered that of royalty, INCLUDING THE KING’S WIZARD!!!! SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!!!!!!
THESE ARE THE FACTS:
—Why did Prince Justin stand down so easily in the face of his BELOVED being torn from him on his wedding day? Prince Justin is one of the strongest, most bravest, and handsomest men in all of Verania. He would not have allowed the end of Rystin to happen unless he had been COERCED, either MAGICALLY or through THREATS OF VIOLENCE. It has been speculated by many people that Sam of Wilds threatened the life of the KING unless Justin relinquished his love to Sam of Wilds. And Justin and Ryan—their hearts breaking as they tearfully stared into each other’s eyes, remembering those mornings of waking up together and giving each other forehead kisses, and making slow, sweet, passionate love—had no choice but to comply, given the life of the King must be held above all others. SAM OF WILDS ENDED RYSTIN. It has been suggested that this other pairing, this “HaveHeart,” is actually a spell word that causes anyone who utters it to fall into Sam of Wilds’s trap! DO NOT DISCUSS HAVEHEART EVER BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN MIGHT GET SCRAMBLED WITH GROSS.
THESE ARE THE FACTS:
A prophecy. A destiny.
Rumors abound that the gods themselves have supposedly called upon Sam of Wilds to save the very fate of Verania from the clutches of Dark wizards. There are SPECULATIONS that Sam Haversford (IF THAT’S HIS REAL NAME) had a visitor to the castle: the GYPSY LEADER who he is supposed to be RELATED TO. We all know what the “gypsies” are good for: NOTHING. They do NOTHING to help the good, whiter people of Verania, and in fact TURN UP THEIR NOSES AT US. They also claim to have the “sight,” which we know is nothing but PARLOR TRICKS and SLEIGHT OF HAND. This gypsy leader came to our city and DEMANDED an audience with the King. She then allegedly told the King of a PROPHECY THAT WOULD SEE THE END OF VERANIA UNLESS SAM OF WILDS SAVED US ALL.
Now, does that suggest anything to you?
It should. It should EXPLICITLY SUGGEST THAT SAM OF WILDS CONCOCTED THIS ENTIRE THING. There is no PROPHECY. There is no DESTINY. DARK WIZARDS ATTACK ALL THE TIME. THEY DO IT BECAUSE THEY ARE ASSHOLES AND ARE MOST LIKELY COLLUDING WITH SAM OF WILDS.
Hear me, good people of Verania.
SAM OF WILDS IS A FRAUD.
All must be done to stop him.
WE MUST STOP HIM BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.
PAID FOR BY THE WHSAL FOR A SAM-FREE VERANIA
“So,” I said when I finished reading. “What you’re trying to say is that I was fruited because people believe I threatened to murder the King unless Justin gave me Ryan, and that I might not be qualified to become the King’s Wizard. Also, apparently there is a made-up prophecy because I’m in cahoots with Vadoma about the fate of Verania.”
Cahoots, Randall mouthed at Morgan, rolling his eyes.
“Sounds about right,” Justin said. “And you have to admit, there’s a kernel of truth to it. I mean, I can see how it’s believable. Especially the part where the only reason I caved so easily to you was because you were threatening me with my father’s life.”
“I never threatened you!”
Justin rolled his eyes. “I know that. I’m just saying, I see why people believe this so easily. It sounds like something you would do.”
“Babe,” I snapped at Ryan. “Hold me back so I don’t bitch-slap my newest best friend.”
“As adorable as you are,” Mama said, eyes flashing, “maybe don’t waste my time any more with your shenanigans.”
“Listen to her,” Ryan hissed at me. “You know how much she scares me.”
“This pleases me,” Mama said, eyeing him appreciatively.
“How the hell did they figure out about Vadoma and the prophecy?” I said, glaring down at the parchment. “This was supposed to be kept under wraps! No one was supposed to know anything about it so it didn’t cause bullshit panic like this. The last thing we need is rumors going around about it.”
“It wasn’t a secret that Vadoma was in Castle Lockes,” Morgan said, stroking his beard. “She was seen quite often during her stay. Castle staff, guards, the knights. She was even out in the City a time or two.”
“But that doesn’t explain the prophecy,” Ryan said with a frown. “Unless she was going around telling people about it, or unless someone spread the word from Mashallaha—”
“They wouldn’t do that,” I said. “There’s… a code in the clan. Whatever secrets the phuro gives, it stays within them unless otherwise dictated. They wouldn’t betray Vadoma like that.”
“Which means,” Justin said, “that if the leak came from anywhere, it came from the castle.”
“Motherfucker,” I groaned. “I’ve been betrayed!”
“There’s the drama queen,” Randall muttered. Then, “I don’t know that we have to worry about sending people into a panic. She’s clearly trying to pass it off as a hoax. If that’s what people believe, then that works in our favor, seeing as how any actions we take or movements we make will be seen as pushing the ruse forward instead of stopping the rising dark.”
“So,” I said slowly, “what you’re saying here is that we should allow her to continue doing what she’s doing. Huh. Randall? Please don’t take this the wrong way, but are you out of your fucking mind?”
He arched a large eyebrow at me.
I blanched. “And I mean that with the utmost respect.”
“Think about it, Sam,” Morgan said, not even having the decency to wince when I turned my glare to him. “It’s all smoke and mirrors. Sleight of hand. We’re able to use Lady DeSilva as a distraction. She’s giving us an opportunity here.”
“By smearing my name.”
“Not that it held much weight to begin with,” Justin said.
“See if I ever braid your hair again.”
“If you’ll recall, I never wanted you to do that to begin with.”
“You’re a liar who lies,” I said. “And I find it troubling that no one besides me has a problem with everyone talking crap about me.”
Silence.
“Ryan,” I said. “That was supposed to be your cue to step in and defend my honor.”
“Okay,” Ryan said. “And I totally would, but hear me out. I can… kind of see where they’re coming from.”
I gaped at him. “You can what?”
“Look,” he said. “It’s like being on the battlefield, okay? It’s strategic. You need to calculate as many moves as possible beforehand. It takes out the element of surprise, reduces the unknown.”
“You can never get rid of the unknown,” I said. “And if you think you can, then it’s going to bite you in the ass when you least expect it.”