I turned toward Mama, who was already waiting, hand extended in my direction. I took it in mine, placing a kiss against her fingers.
“That’s better,” she said lightly. “Obviously you haven’t seen the Prince in some time, so I will forgive you just this once for entering my office and not addressing me first. Next time I will not be so generous, precious.”
I grinned against her hand. “Nor would I expect you to be. Today has certainly found you to be magnanimous. I fully expected threats of spankings.”
She sniffed delicately as she pulled her hand away. “Well, yes. It’s certainly been a trying time, I must say.” She turned to Moishe. “Are Gary, Kevin, and Tiggy being taken care of?”
Moishe bowed low. “They were in good hands before you summoned me here, my lady.”
“Good. See to it that they are fed with the finest meats. Except for Kevin, that is. Though I expect he is probably a little tired of produce at the moment. Bring him the tofu we had made shaped like a sheep. I dare say we don’t know when again we may be able to present it to him.”
Moishe bowed again before turning on his heels and heading toward the door. He glanced at me, an inscrutable expression on his face, before he closed the door behind him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Justin. “You should be at the castle, especially if Darks are on their way.”
He scowled at me. “I’m here because I’m supposed to be. I will not stand by while those bastards attempt to infiltrate my kingdom.”
“He threatened us with incarceration unless we brought him with us,” Randall said dryly. “And for some reason, the King agreed. Something about idle hands and all that.”
“Your parents say hello,” Morgan added. “As does the King, all of whom wanted me to remind you that you should be eating healthy and changing your underwear daily. Strangely enough, that last bit came from the King. They’re all safe, by the way.”
“Yeah, thanks, I do all of that,” I said, distracted, still staring at Justin. “How did you get here with them? They’re magic. Randall can apparently do some super-secret teleporting thing that he uses just to fuck with me, and Morgan can probably do the same, because there’s still magic stuff they won’t tell me about, as they’re assholes.” I turned and glared at each of them in turn, letting them see just how displeased I was. They didn’t seem affected in the slightest.
And since Justin still hadn’t quite learned how to stop being a fucking jerk yet, he just smiled smugly and said, “Don’t know if I can tell you that. Top secret. Hush-hush. Certain eyes only. You’re an apprentice, after all, and I’m a prince. Of course I am allowed things that you are not. It’s the way things are, and far be it from me to not lord it over you every chance I get.”
“You’re lucky we’re almost best friends,” I told him seriously, “because that might be grounds for me not liking you a lot.”
“The thought alone is like you’re emotionally deconstructing my heart.”
“And you came here because you love me.”
“That’s not even a thing that exists.”
“Don’t front. Dude, I see right through that hard exterior to your moist center.”
He glared at me. “Are you seriously hitting on me? Again?”
“What? No!”
“Wait,” Ryan growled. “What do you mean again?”
“I’m not hitting on you! I’m just trying to point out that you are totally under my spell and that you love me terribly.”
“Better not be too terribly,” Ryan said, coming to stand next to me.
Justin rolled his eyes. “Yes, because I feel the need to downgrade to someone like Sam of Wilds.”
“Hey! I’m standing right here, in case you’ve forgotten. And what do you mean downgrade? That implies that there is someone that I would be a downgrade from. Are you butt-fucking someone? You tell me right now, Justin, I swear to the gods!”
“I’m not—”
“Is dis really what we’re here for?” Feng said to Mama.
I gaped at Justin. “It’s Dimitri, isn’t it! Oh my gods, I knew there was sexual tension between you and the fairy king!”
“As fun as this is—and it is fun,” Mama said, her tone a little icy, “I do believe there are more important matters that we must attend to aside from the Prince having sex with the king of fairies.”
“I’m not having sex with—”
Mama turned slowly to look at him.
Justin stopped speaking immediately.
It was amazing.
She was right, of course. I decided to let it go for now. But I would hold back teaching Justin the Best Friends Handshake until he spilled all the secrets he supposedly knew that I didn’t. He wouldn’t last very long in the face of such a threat.
Given all that had gone on, I decided to focus on the most important issue at hand. “Can someone please explain to me why we were fruited and what it has to do with my mortal enemy Lady Tina DeSilva?”
Mama grinned, razor-sharp. “I knew I liked you for a reason, precious. And I promise you if we find out who is responsible here in Meridian City, there will be swift… justice.”
“It wasn’t Lady DeSilva herself?” Ryan asked. “She’s the one who’s spearheading the We-Hate-Sam-A-Lot movement. Maybe she’s in the city. She does seem to have a rather unhealthy fascination with Sam.”
“People tend to get like that a lot with me,” I said with a frown. “I don’t know why I seem to make people crazy.”
“It truly is a mystery,” Justin said.
Morgan shook his head. “She was still in Lockes when we left. I checked. But it appears her message is starting to spread, farther and quicker than I would have thought. We may have underestimated her reach. Or the underlying tensions in Verania toward Sam.”
Mama opened a drawer and pulled out a rolled parchment. She set it down on her desk and smoothed it out. The paper looked thick and expensive, the words printed across it in black ink. “It appears you’ve made enemies,” she said lightly. “Especially if they are now sending out propaganda. This and others like it are here in Meridian City. I don’t know that I’ve ever been prouder of you than I am right now. It truly takes an amazing person to piss off so many people in such a short amount of time.”
That… didn’t sound good. Mama slid the parchment over to me. The edges of it were curled. “Shit,” Ryan breathed as he started to read. I didn’t even have it in me to tell him yet again that knights were not allowed to curse.
!!!ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION!!!
NOW COMES THE TRUTH THE CROWN DOESN’T WANT YOU TO HEAR!
SAM OF WILDS IS UNFIT TO BE THE KING’S WIZARD!