“Are you sure she’s really your daughter?”
What could Zach have meant by that? Was there any way, any way at all, that Paisley wasn’t mine? Could Zach know something that I didn’t? Could Paisley really be someone else’s?
No. I jerked my arm away from my bike and threw the wrench across the garage. It clattered against the far wall and hit the ground with a loud slam. My heart rate picked up and my breathing became ragged. I felt just as angry as I had the day before. It was as if I was back in that conference room, staring at Zach’s bloody face.
My stomach churned uncomfortably while the waves of anger continued to roll. I wondered if Zach was telling the truth, if Paisley really wasn’t my daughter. It was insane. It was crazy to think that she wasn’t, but still. His voice nagged at the back of my mind, and I couldn’t silence it.
I was losing my cool again. Guilt followed anger, and then more anger followed the guilt. I was stuck in a vicious cycle I couldn’t escape. Paisley would be awake soon, and I was still too furious to function. What kind of father was I if I couldn’t calm down for the sake of my child? If I couldn’t pull myself together long enough to take care of my daughter?
My question answered itself. What kind of father was I? A shitty one.
Not for the first time, I questioned whether Paisley would be better off without me, whether I should have taken the police officer’s offer to place her in foster care. My old insecurities came back with a vengeance, and I remembered all the times I convinced myself Paisley was better off with Claire. I stayed away because I knew I couldn’t be a good dad, and now, here I was, proving myself right.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Tara
I woke up early the next morning and jumped out of bed. Halfway through my shower I realized I didn’t have anywhere to go. Zach fired me. I was no longer an employee of Yates’ Motorcycles. The realization hit me hard, and I sat down in the shower, letting the warm water wash over my body. My stomach felt heavy as the memories from the day before flashed through my mind.
Zach burst through the conference room door. He grabbed Paisley and Sean ran across the room. Sean threw Zach against the wall, and I hurried to get Paisley out of the room. I made her stay in my office while I returned to the conference room. Zach was lying on the floor, his face a bloody mess. Zach fired me. I left. Ray was wheeled out of the office on a stretcher, and the world around me stopped.
I could see it all happen like a movie. It didn’t feel real. I felt like I was watching the events of someone else’s life play out in front of me. It was surreal in the most awful way, and all I wanted to do was make it stop. I wanted something or someone to convince me it was all just a huge mistake. But I knew it wasn’t.
When I got out of the shower, I called Niki and asked her to come over. I knew she would. If there was anyone I could talk to in that moment, it was Niki.
“What happened?” Niki asked as she let herself in. I was sitting on the couch, wrapped in my robe. Niki hurried over and sat beside me, her eyes searching my face.
“I got fired,” I said simply.
“No,” Niki said, shaking her head. “That’s impossible.”
“It’s true,” I said.
“But why?” Niki asked. “Is it because of Sean? Because of what’s going with you two?”
“No,” I said, laughing bitterly. “No one even knows about that. Zach fired me yesterday after Sean beat the shit out of him.”
Niki’s mouth fell open, and she stared at me blankly. In all our years of friendship, I’d never once seen Niki speechless. Until now. She gaped at me, completely dumbfounded.
“It was crazy,” I said, fighting back tears. “Zach stormed into the conference room and grabbed Sean’s daughter by the arm. He yelled at Sean that the office isn’t a daycare. Then Sean threw him against the wall. Sean just lost it, you know? He saw Zach go after Paisley and just… lost it.”
“Well,” Niki said, finally finding her voice. “Of course, he did.”
“I know,” I said. “I don’t blame him. I could never blame him, but it was terrifying the way he went after Zach.”
“He was protecting his daughter,” Niki said softly.
I know,” I said again. “I know he was.”
“I still don’t understand why you were fired,” Niki said. “What does any of that have to do with you?”
“Zach was just looking for an excuse,” I said. “After his fight with Sean, he looked at me and told me to get out. I wanted to fight him on it, but I just couldn’t. Not then.”
“What did Ray say?” Niki asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “He kind of collapsed into a chair and put his head down. When Zach fired me, he didn’t say anything. I thought he was just in shock after what happened between his sons, but then an ambulance showed up and took him to the hospital.”
“What?!” Niki’s eyes widened, and she moved closer to me on the couch.
“I don’t know what happened,” I said, tears finally sliding down my face. “I thought he was just upset. I didn’t know something was actually wrong with him. If I’d known, I never would have left.”
“It’s not your fault,” Niki said quickly. “There’s no way you could have known.”
“I know,” I said.
“Do you know what’s wrong with him?” Niki asked. “Was it a heart attack or did he faint or something else?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I found out what hospital they took him to, but I haven’t called.”
“Why not?” Niki asked.
“Because I can’t,” I said, defeated. “Zach fired me, and I just can’t. Not after everything that happened. I’m the one who brought Sean to work at the company. It’s my fault that any of this happened. Ray wouldn’t want to see me now.”
“You don’t know that,” Niki said. “Ray isn’t Zach. He’s always treated you well.”
“I know, but still,” I said. “After that fight, why would he want to see me?”
“Because he cares about you,” Niki said simply. “And you owe it to him and to yourself to go see him.”
“Niki…” I began.
“No,” Niki shook her head firmly. “I don’t tell you what to do very often, but when I do, it’s because I know I’m right. And I am right about this, Tara. You’ll hate yourself forever if you don’t go see him. You have to find out if he’s okay.”
I looked at Niki and knew she was right. Of course, she was right. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to Ray and I didn’t even know about it. We’d been through a lot together with the company, and he’d always been an amazing boss. Despite his relationship with Zach, I looked up to Ray. I liked Ray. And I really did want to see him.
“Okay,” I said. “You’re right. I’ll go.”
“Good,” Niki said. She smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. She leaned her head against mine and sat with me until I was ready to get up. When I did, I got dressed and let Niki walk me to my car.
“I’m nervous,” I admitted as I climbed behind the wheel.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Niki asked. I knew she would.