I have a busy day in front of me but first I have
a leisurely breakfast, marvelling at how good it feels without the threat of a silent call hanging over me. I want to take out a court order to prevent Matthew, and Rachel, from coming anywhere near me once they’re released so I search on the computer and find that I can apply for a restraining order. Knowing that I’m going to need legal advice at some point, I phone my solicitor and make an appointment to see him at the end of the morning. And then I phone a locksmith and arrange to have the locks changed.
While the locksmith changes the locks, I put Matthew’s belongings into bin bags, trying not to think too much about what I’m doing, about what it means. But it’s still emotionally draining. At twelve o’clock I drive into Castle Wells with Rachel’s little black phone in my bag and spend an hour and a half with my solicitor, who tells me something that I hadn’t realised, that thanks to the text messages Matthew can be charged in relation to my ‘overdose’. When I leave, I drive to Rachel’s and dump the bin bags containing Matthew’s clothes outside her front door. And then I drive to the police station and ask to speak to PC Lawson. She isn’t available but PC Thomas is, so I hand him Rachel’s mobile and tell him what I told my solicitor, that I found it in my car that morning.
The Breakdown
401
Physically and mentally exhausted, I drive home. I’m
surprised at how hungry I am so I find a tin of tomato soup and have it with toast and marmite, my favourite comfort foods. Then I wander around the house, feeling at a complete loss, wondering how I’m going to be able to move on when I’ve lost both my husband and best friend. I feel so low, so depressed that the temptation to sink to my knees and cry my eyes out is overpowering.
But I don’t give in to it.
I turn on the television to catch the six o’clock news.
There’s nothing about Matthew and Rachel having been released but that doesn’t stop my heart leaping into my mouth when there’s a ring at the doorbell. I reassure myself that it can’t be Matthew because I would have heard him trying his keys in the lock but I still leave the new chain on. When I see PC Lawson standing there, I feel as if I’m looking at an old friend.
‘Can I come in?’ she asks.
We go into the kitchen and I offer her a cup of tea.
I presume she’s come to warn me that Matthew and
Rachel are about to be released, or to quiz me over how I came to be in possession of Rachel’s secret mobile.
‘I’ve come to thank you,’ she says as I take mugs from the cupboard. ‘Without your help, we would never have solved Jane’s murder so quickly.’
Startled, because it isn’t what I was expecting her to say, I turn to face her. ‘You know who killed Jane?’
‘Yes, we have a confession.’
402
b a paris
Confusion clouds my mind. ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t
understand.’
‘You led us there,’ she says. ‘We’re very grateful.’
I led them there? In a daze, I walk over to the table and sink onto a chair. ‘Can you just give me a moment?’ I say weakly. Suddenly, I’m terrified of what I’ve done. How could embroidering the truth a little have such devastating consequences? Basically, I’ve framed Matthew for something he didn’t do.
‘I’ll make the tea,’ she offers.
I watch as she pops a tea bag into the mugs that I abandoned, knowing that I’m going to have to tell her that I implicated Matthew in Jane’s murder in retaliation for what he did to me. I’m going to have to retract everything I said and my stomach churns at the thought of being charged with perverting the course of justice.
Yet what is there to retract, because I didn’t actually tell any lies. I didn’t see Matthew when I got home that night so it’s possible that he wasn’t in his room.
But out murdering Jane? PC Lawson said that she had a confession but why would Matthew confess to Jane’s murder? He didn’t even know her.
‘No,’ I say, finding my voice. ‘It’s not possible. You see, I dropped a mobile off at the station earlier this afternoon. I found it in my car this morning when I was on my way to see my solicitor and when I opened it I realised that it was a phone Rachel was using to communicate with Matthew. If you read the text messages between them—’
The Breakdown
403
‘I have,’ PC Lawson interrupts. ‘Every single one of
them.’
I look at her in bewilderment. ‘But if you’ve read them, you’ll know that Matthew didn’t even know Jane so why would he have killed her?’
PC Lawson frowns. ‘Matthew? No, it’s not Matthew
who killed Jane.’
My mind spins. ‘Not Matthew? Then who?’
‘Miss Baretto. She’s admitted everything.’
The breath goes out of me and the room swims before my eyes. I feel the blood draining from my face, then PC Lawson’s hands on the back of my head as she pushes it gently to the table.
‘You’ll be all right,’ she says, her voice calm. ‘Take a couple of deep breaths and you’ll be all right.’