Fox, Mistress Parmina, and Lady Mykaela still waited for me, and they were now joined by Polaire and Althy, which only made things worse.
Polaire jumped up when she saw me enter. “Well?” she demanded eagerly. “How was it? Did you pass? Did you allow those old geezers to intimidate you?”
“Polaire,” Althy remonstrated, “let her speak.”
“I failed.” I could not help but feel miserable. I felt like I had let everyone down.
“What do you mean ‘failed’? Did they tell you?”
“No, but I’m almost sure I did.”
“Let’s see what the association has to say,” Lady Mykaela said optimistically. “I’m certain you’re wrong.”
I didn’t want to get her hopes up but didn’t know what else to say. I only nodded, my head bowed. It seemed like a waste of time to wait for my results, but my melancholy didn’t put a damper on the others’ spirits.
It felt like ages before one of the women entered the room. I kept my eyes on the floor, not wanting to see the expressions on everyone’s faces when she revealed the truth.
“Thank you for waiting, Mistress Parmina. I am pleased to report that Tea has passed her test at the highest level. She is now free to make her debut at your choosing. Congratulations again.”
And then I saw nothing but skin and arms because Polaire had dragged me to my feet and enveloped me in a jubilant hug. “You passed—and at the first level! Ha! And you so ridiculously modest, thinking you’d failed—”
“I am so proud of you, Tea!” Lady Mykaela laughed, and Polaire scooped her up, adding her to the embrace. “This is very good news for us!”
“We will stage your debut in a few days,” Mistress Parmina announced. “I see no reason to delay. The Valerian will need cleaning. Rahim and Chesh must be notified—”
“But—but I don’t understand.” I was confused. “I failed the last test. How could I pass at the highest level?”
Lady Mykaela gently disentangled us from a still-enthusiastic Polaire, who made up for the lapse by latching onto Althy instead. “What test was this?”
“The rune test. They asked me to take down a silver hoop they’d hung from the ceiling, and I refused.”
“Why?”
“There was nothing for me to raise. Not even a speck of ant.”
“That was deliberate, Tea. The asha do a ritual cleaning of the halls before any asha test, and they are very thorough. I encountered the very same thing during my exams.”
“But how did you pass?”
“I did the same thing you did—I refused.”
I stared at her, more puzzled than ever.
“Think about it, Tea. You have no need to display your proficiency with the Dark. If they were not convinced when you raised half the town’s dead during your stay at the Falling Leaf, they would have believed when you chased away the azi. As you were unable to use the Raising rune, what other options did you have?”
“I could have used Compulsion,” I said, “to force one of the women to take it down for me. I didn’t think they would have liked it.”
“Yes. And now do you understand the reason you passed?”
She left me to mull that over as Fox approached. “Are you happy?” Now that I was no longer shielded from him, I felt his thoughts mirroring my own.
“I think I am,” I said, ignoring the little Darkness in the corner of my head. I was getting used to compartmentalizing my mind whenever someone new was added to my roster of familiars—Fox had his own space, and then Chief, and they both, to some extent, were dimly aware of the other through the link I shared, and each accommodated for the other’s presence. But something else lurked at the farthest reaches of my head, something that neither of them knew of. Being told that I was now an asha had unlocked something within it, like a sleeping giant roused from an ages-long slumber and was now ready to begin the hunt.
Don’t worry. It’s not important.
With some effort, I pushed it away for another time.
“Then that’s all I ask.” And my brother hugged me in turn, smiling. “Congratulations, Sis.”
I smiled back. It was the only thing I could do. For the first time since raising him, it occurred to me that while Fox was privy to some of my thoughts, he wasn’t privy to them all.
? ? ?
Likh’s testing had not been as smooth. Once more we confronted the asha association, but where I had faced them alone, Likh stood with me, Polaire, and Lady Mykaela.
“It has never been done before,” one of the old women said firmly. “It breaks with our tradition, and tradition must be honored above everything else.”
“It is an archaic tradition,” I argued, more vehement and less apprehensive than I had been at my own test. “I don’t see why men who can sing and dance and draw runes should be prevented from becoming asha if they meet all other requirements.”
“It is an insult to our profession!” another old lady thundered. “It’s nearly as ridiculous as a woman joining the Deathseekers!”
“Well, now, that’s a very good idea, Mistress,” Polaire drawled. “This is Kion, miladies, not Drycht. We are at an age where men and women stand together on equal footing, unlike our barbarian brothers to the south. Why shouldn’t a woman petition to join the Deathseekers any more than a man can petition to join asha?”
“Do you not understand the complications that arise from such thinking?” a particularly weaselly old woman at the end of the table snapped. “It is highly unnatural for men and women to fraternize in this manner!”
“Unless you wish to purchase the hua they make, of course.” I couldn’t help myself. I was familiar enough with many of Rahim’s work to know that what the crone wore was an Arrakan design.
“Perhaps,” Lady Mykaela said gently, “Likh would like to make his case.”
Swallowing hard, Likh stepped forward. Unlike us, he wore his plain gray robes.
“When I was three years old, I knew I was not like other boys.” His voice carried, soft and gentle, across the hall. “I did not enjoy rough play or making games with wooden soldiers and other such toys. I loved dolls and dresses. I saw my first darashi oyun during my sixth summer and liked to pretend I was an asha myself. I am standing before you today to tell you that I have never been so sure of anything else in my life.
“I am also here to plead for my life.” His voice shook. “I will not survive Deathseeker training. I know it. The only role I can hope to fulfill for the black brothers is as a fresh corpse on the plains. I will be nothing more than another victim, be it of daeva, of Faceless, or of brigands. I can do so much more here in the Willows, and you will have no reason to regret it. I ask you to give me three months to prove my worth, and you can see at its end whether I should stay or go. It is only three months of your life, but it will decide all of mine.”