“I gotta go,” he interrupted. “I think we’re at a tipping point. We either go all the way, or we let each other go. I can’t accept anything less. I want you to be happy, Kristin. I can’t be a selfish asshole anymore. That’s how much I fucking love you. I want you to be happy. If you want to stay with me, you’ll still be living in our home when I get back. If not, then your apartment is still ready for you. Take whatever you want from the house, and I swear I’ll make a generous settlement with you when I initiate the divorce. I never want to see you working just to survive.”
He snatched up his coat and Julian was gone before Kristin could say another word. Belatedly, she rose and ran after him, only to see his limo already heading toward the airport.
Her entire body was trembling as she walked back to their table in a daze and sat down. “He loves me,” she whispered to herself with awe.
If he would have let her get in a word or two, she was ready to tell him that she wanted to be his forever. Unfortunately, she’d never gotten that chance.
She picked up the rings and carefully removed hers from the chain, smiling as she slipped it onto her finger.
It fit perfectly, and she nudged it up against her engagement ring.
Maybe she didn’t remember how all of this had begun, but she knew how it was going to end.
“See ya in a few days, Hotshot,” she whispered, leaving the ring on her finger as she slipped the chain with Julian’s ring carefully into her purse.
She snatched up her jacket with a radiant smile and rushed out of Shamrock’s so she could get home. Unfortunately, after she’d had a moment to think, she had a moment of hesitation about exactly where home was going to be.
CHAPTER 22
By the time Julian got to his home in Malibu, he knew he’d pretty much blown his chance to have everything he’d always wanted in his life.
Maybe at one time, he’d been so driven that he’d never stopped long enough to realize what he really needed.
Xander had tried to tell him.
Julian hadn’t been willing to listen.
What he’d told Kristin was completely true. On the day he’d lost his parents, he’d changed. Maybe that’s how different experiences affected people’s lives, but he wasn’t the same guy he’d been several years ago. He’d grown up and looked around. And he hadn’t much liked what he saw.
He flopped on the couch and turned on the television just to hear some noise, realizing he really didn’t like having sole control of the remote. He’d rather be arguing with Kristin over what to watch.
Jesus! I’m getting completely maudlin.
He had the big prerelease party the next evening, and then he was going home. Funny how Amesport had become the place he most wanted to be in the world.
He flipped through the channels with a beer in his hand, already having changed into a pair of sweatpants and T-shirt.
He settled on a sports channel and picked up his cell phone for about the hundredth time since he’d gotten to California a few hours ago.
Nobody called. No text messages.
Forcing himself not to give in to the urge to slam the damn device against the wall, he dropped it back on the end table beside the sofa, pissed at himself for looking to see if Kristin had somehow tried to contact him.
Maybe I shouldn’t have given her the ultimatum. What if it was too soon?
No. He couldn’t regret it. It was time for him to cut the shit and find out if Kristin was going to be his wife, or if she wanted out. Not knowing was too damn painful, and if she wanted him the way he needed her, she’d sure as hell know by now.
He’d known for a long time exactly what he wanted. Like he’d told Kristin, he’d been in love with her almost from the beginning. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Maybe he hadn’t been able to put an actual name to his emotions back then, but he had known what he wanted. And he wasn’t about to let that kind of feeling go easily.
His gut ached from wondering what she was thinking right now.
Would she go?
Would she stay?
She’d looked like she’d been taken aback by his confession. He didn’t know why. Surely she could have guessed how he felt.
Taking the rings and their marriage information had been done out of just plain fear. He’d been worried she’d try to end everything immediately, and he’d already been committed to his last film. Yeah, he’d been a selfish prick. But he’d been a terrified selfish prick. Did that make a difference?
He heard his text ping go off near his head, and he quickly reached back and grabbed his phone.
Kristin: I hope you got to California safely.
Okay, it wasn’t a profession of undying love, but it was something. He typed a message back.
Julian: I’m good. I’m at my house here in Malibu. Nothing good on TV.
He waited for her to respond. She did.
Kristin: I know. I’m about to hit the bed.
Julian immediately wondered which bed and whose home, but he said he’d give her until he got back. He wasn’t going to pressure her. There was a three-hour time difference between California and Maine, so it was late for Kristin since he knew she had to work the next day.
Julian: Are you pissed because I was honest with you?
He had to know, even though part of him didn’t want her to tell him.
Kristin: No. I’m glad. I think we need to work this out quickly for both of our sakes.
And that answer told him absolutely fucking nothing.
Julian: I should have told you from the very beginning.