A soft groan sounded from behind the door, and a new wave of shame washed over me. I wanted to hurt someone, but there was no one to hurt. No one that would make me feel any better anyway. I wanted to rage at someone, but there was nothing I could shout that could take back what was done. In the end I realized that there was only one way left to fight. And that was by my girl’s side.
Growing a pair of balls, I dragged my sorry arse off the floor and back to bed. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her into my side. She burrowed in subconsciously, looking for my body heat. For more than a year, she’d been my sunshine in a dark place. Now it was my turn to be hers. So when I left for training the next morning, I made sure she knew I was still with her. Even with my scrawl, it was still pretty legible with no lines through it or spelling mistakes, which was a big fucking achievement for me. In fact, I was pretty pleased until I decided to doodle a teddy bear on the front, which ended up looking more like a Chucky doll. Still, I’d bet she’d keep it with all the others.
Hey Sunshine,
I hope you slept well. By the time you read this, I’ll probably be running. But I just wanted to let you know I’m with you at school or court. I’m with you. Always. One lifetime will never be enough, baby.
I love you,
OC xxx
PS. Sleeping in sexy red panties is banned for the foreseeable fucking future. I can’t go running with a hard-on anymore. It’s getting embarrassing!”
*
“What the fuck?” I said as Kieran, Tommy, and I walked in through the door of our flat to the sight of Nikki holding a giant purple dildo.
“Hey guys” she greeted us with a smile. “How’s the training going?” The three of us stood there with our mouths open like goldfish. All of us were distracted by the hypnotic, therapeutic buzz of the dildo as it vibrated in her hands.
“Tell me I’ve died and gone to porn heaven,” Tommy mumbled as he stood incredulously beside me.
“You have any thoughts about my wife that even feature a dildo, you’re gonna wish you were dead,” I responded.
“Okay. No dildo,” he said, still looking pretty happy with himself.
“Just to be clear. No sexual fantasies about my wife whatsoever. In fact, the only time you need to be thinking about my wife is when you’re where her husband is. And more importantly where his fist is in relation to your face.
“You suck all the fun out of life,” Tommy said.
Our tiny flat was full of women passing around lingerie and sex toys. I coughed to clear my throat as I locked eyes on my wife.
“So what’s going on, Sunshine?” I asked, trying to sound casual. She was holding a black lace bra up against herself and talking to Nikki’s housemate.
“Sorry, love. I didn’t know you’d be home this early. Nikki’s friend Helen is helping us host an Ann Summers’ party.”
“I thought it would take her mind off tomorrow,” Nikki told me.
“Good call,” I said with a smile.
“I’m gonna head over to Kieran’s and grab some dinner. Give you ladies some peace and quiet.”
“Sorry. I feel like I’m pushing you out. I forgot to mention that the girls were coming by,” Em said as she squeezed past the women, who were mainly sprawled over the bed comparing toys.
“It’s fine, baby. Go and have a good time, and I’ll see you later.”
“I won’t spend too much money, I promise!” I looked down again at that black lace underwear and imagined Em wearing it.
“Spend as much as you like,” I told her. My voice full of conviction.
“Mine’s bigger and a prettier color. Do you want to see?” Em and I both turned around just in time to catch Tommy’s generous offer to the ladies. Most of them giggled and looked at Tom lovingly. How the fuck did he do that? He said something crude or danced like a woman, and girls thought he was cute. But if Kier or I ever did it, we’d just come off as being dicks.
“They think he’s gay,” Kier said, reading my mind, “that’s why they think he’s cute.”
“No they don’t,” Tommy called back. “I’m not saying men don’t want me,” he told Nikki matter-of-factly, “but there’s not enough of me to share with the ladies as it is.”
“You know it really is purple,” I told the girls, as I nodded my head toward Tommy’s junk.
“STDs,” Kieran whispered conspiratorially to a captive audience.
“Jealousy is an ugly thing, my friend,” Tommy said to Kieran, as he tried to rise above all Kieran’s insults.
“I’m not jealous of your STDs,” Kieran said.
“You’re such a dick,” Tommy told him.
“Do you want to hold my dick?” Nikki offered to Tommy as Em laughed. I spotted a bottle of white wine on the table and figured they’d all had a few drinks to unwind.
“It’s a mood cock,” Nikki told him. “It vibrates and changes color depending on your mood.”
“Okay,” he agreed without hesitation.
“Go, Tommy!” Em encouraged him.
“It’s all right,” he said. “I’m man enough to hold a fucking dildo.”