“Well, what was I supposed to do?” he grips his leather cuffs protectively. A trait I’ve noticed he does when he’s feeling insecure. “I can read you, Vi. You didn’t want him all over you like that. I can’t just walk away and leave you to fend for yourself.”
“Why the bloody hell not?” I screech, stamping my Monolo Blahnik in barely contained fury. He’s the one who continually pushed me away and stalked off, so why am I of any concern to him?
“I’m going back inside,” Theo says as Hayden’s and my eyes remain locked on each other. “You two clearly don’t need a third wheel.”
As Theo heads back inside, I can’t help but think about how this entire scene between Hayden and Ethan is all too familiar. It reminds me of how Gareth reacted to seeing Pierce at the pub that night. The anger, the rage, the over-protectiveness. It’s frustrating as hell how men seem to insert themselves into my life at every turn.
“Hayden, you told me I deserve better, so I don’t know why this is even a discussion. Moreover, it wasn’t like Ethan was attacking me. He was just being a moron. I was actually putting him in his proper place just when you showed up.”
“Yeah, it really fucking looked like it.” Hayden scrubs his hands through his hair and looks away.
My eyes narrow at his clear underestimation of me. I don’t need this shit. I storm past him, yanking open the door to one of the cabs waiting along the curb for the club-hoppers.
“Oh, no you don’t,” Hayden bellows. He shoves me into the vehicle and ducks in behind me. “I’m not done talking to you.”
I turn to face him in the dark backseat. “You cheeky bastard. Get your own cab.”
“Vi,” he fumes, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw so hard I’m afraid his teeth will crack. “Please let me take you home. I need to explain myself and then I swear I’ll fucking shove off.”
I scowl angrily as the driver asks me what I want him to do. “Drive,” I grumble, sitting back and crossing my arms over my chest. I angle as far away from Hayden as possible while looking out the window.
His breaths are heavy as he attempts to calm himself down in the painfully quiet car. “So, speak!” I bark.
“I’m not bloody well doing it in front of this bloke.”
The driver’s head turns. “Ain’t nothing I ain’t heard before.”
Hayden shakes his head and looks out the window as we make our way back to my flat. We manage to arrive back at Brick Lane without killing each other. I hop out without looking back, but I can hear Hayden’s long strides behind me. I reach my alley entrance and unlock the doors to the lift. He slides in beside me, remaining completely quiet, but is watching me warily. I glare at his apologetic reflection in the mirrored wall of the lift and roll my eyes. He’s got a lot of explaining to do. I don’t care how hot he looks inside my lift. I jam my key in and punch my fist onto the button marked eleven, schooling my features to remain angry. One puppy-dog look isn’t going to get him off the hook.
The doors open and Bruce dives into the lift, attacking Hayden with happy licks and pants and tail wagging.
Bloody traitor.
“Do you have to take Bruce for a walk?” he asks.
My heels clack on the slate flooring as I go to flick on the lamp in my seating area. I glance at the clock and see that it’s not quite one. “I have a neighbour who walks him when I go out. He was here half an hour ago. I didn’t expect to be home this early.”
The light casts a warm glow on Hayden’s sombre face. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly.
I lift my brows, feeling an awful lot like I’m scolding one of my brothers for rowing on the field. “What for?”
“Vi,” he says my name on a shaky sigh. “You aren’t just some random bird to me.” His voice is husky as he speaks slowly and carefully. “And you’re not someone I can just forget about and walk away from.”
I flinch at his shocking comment, which renders me at a rare loss for words. “But last week…you totally brushed me off. Told me to get stuffed.”
He shifts his jaw back and forth in silent protest over my less than stellar paraphrasing. “I said all that because I don’t want to ruin everything around me, Vi.” He pushes a harsh hand through his hair and continues, “I’m finally feeling happy with life again and I’m terrified of messing that all up. It’s like this…In rehab they have a rule of thumb…After you get out and you want to start a relationship, you have to buy a plant first. If you keep it alive, then you get a dog. You keep both of them alive, then you can consider starting up with someone.”
“Okay…and?”
He purses his lips in disappointment. “It’s been a year and I can’t even bring myself to go buy a bloody plant. I’m fucking terrified of failing and ruining everything I’ve gained back. Then I met you and you have a dog and a secret bloody garden on your roof!”