Nothing matters anymore.
“I’m doing it for Jamie,” I say after a while. “And for you. And for Amelia, too, I guess. Someone has to do it. And I have to pay for what I’ve done. Dad and Grandpa would never let me go to jail, but I have to pay. I deserve to pay, so … I’m going to the palace instead. I’m going to be a princess. At least that’s what they tell me.”
It’s almost time now. I can feel it in my bones. So I put my hand on the cold stone and push myself upright. My eyes are no doubt puffy, my face red. There’s no hiding that something’s wrong. Or, more like, nothing’s right.
Embassy Row is waking up when I reach the city’s wall. There are more guards on the street, some locals heading into work. Part of me half expects to see Jamie coming around the corner, sweaty and breathing hard after running ten miles around the city. Then I have to remind myself that my brother is running. And I’ve just made a deal with the devil so that he can stop.
“Gracie!” Alexei isn’t chasing after me. He’s standing, staring. And I have to will myself not to turn around and run away. I have to remind myself that he’d run faster.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as soon as he can see my eyes. They’re still puffy and red, I’m sure. And I realize that Alexei probably hasn’t seen me cry that often. For too long I was out of tears.
“Gracie, what has happened?”
“I went for a walk,” I say. I want to push past him, head for the US and our walls, but Alexei is so big and strong. He has too much gravity, and right now I’m too weak to pull away.
“Gracie, what did you do?”
He’s not talking about three years ago. If he hasn’t learned the truth already, he surely doesn’t want to hear it now. Maybe he sees it on my face. Or maybe he just knows me too well. But Alexei isn’t fooled for one single second.
“What happened yesterday? What happened on the wall?” he asks.
“The princess and the Society had a proposal. It’s the best for everyone, so I took it.” I force a smile. “It’s over, Alexei. Now everything can go back to normal.”
“What kind of normal?” He prowls toward me. I’m afraid that he might pounce.
“They’re going to stop chasing Jamie. They’re going to stop chasing me. It will be okay. I swear. It will be over.”
“Gracie—” He reaches for me, and I try to dodge, but he’s too fast. Or maybe I’ve been running for too long. He’s the only person I want to catch me.
Alexei’s hands are warm, his fingers gentle as they brush my hair out of my eyes and tip my head back to look up at him. He places a gentle kiss on the top of my head, then holds me close.
I can feel as much as hear him say, “Tell me, Gracie. Please.”
There’s a choice now. I’m like the sand on the beach, and I can either slip through Alexei’s fingers or turn to glass. Either way, I know I’ll never feel like this again, so I close my eyes and breathe him in. And then what I have to do hits me. Like lightning. I’m practically brittle as I pull away.
“I’m going to move into the palace.”
It’s like Alexei hasn’t heard me, like someone put this moment on pause. But then my words sink in.
“No,” he says. “You’re not.”
I shrug and try to laugh. “It’s the palace, Alexei. Why wouldn’t I want to live there?”
“What did they say to you yesterday?”
“It was like Ms. Chancellor said. They had a plan, and it’s a good one. I’m going to do it.”
“What plan?”
“Well, see, to start with, I’m going to move into the palace and then … in a few years … I’m going to marry the prince. It’s all been decided.”
Alexei looks like maybe I’ve hit him. Like maybe he wants me to.
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s really genius when you think about it. They know Jamie is the rightful heir—the oldest kid of the oldest kid and so on. So they could kill us. But there are probably other heirs, you know, and they probably can’t kill us all, so—”
“What are you talking about?”
I look at him and bat my eyes, shake my head like the pretty girls in movies always do. “I’m going to marry the prince, and then our oldest child—Amelia’s rightful heir—will be on the throne eventually. Our own little coup, and the country never has to know. Everything is back the way it should be and the region remains stable and … everyone is happy.”
I smile, but Alexei scowls. It’s like a part of him is starting to believe me. “Are you happy, Gracie?”
Now it’s time to laugh and smile and tell him that every little girl dreams of growing up and marrying a prince and living in a palace.
But this is Alexei. He knows I never was a typical little girl.
“Princess Ann did it—when she was a girl. She and my mom and, I guess, your mom thought that Ann was the heir, so she married the prince. Now I’m going to marry the prince.”