A different kind of silence fills the line now. Ann isn’t laughing anymore.
“We want the same things, Grace,” she tries, but I shake my head. Finally, it’s my turn to laugh.
“I find that incredibly hard to believe.”
“We both want you to be safe and happy. We want you to be able to stop running.”
“You’re right,” I tell her. “I do want to stop running. Maybe I should just go ahead and kill you, hurry this process along.”
“Oh, Grace. What good would that do? I’m not in line for the throne, and you’re no killer,” Ann tells me, but she’s wrong.
I am a killer. And I know it. What I did to my mom was an accident, but does that make any difference? My soul is already charred, my moral account overdrawn. Would one more death really matter? Would two? Maybe I should set Valancia on fire—burn the whole world down. Maybe then I could stop running.
“You people are going to let him go,” I tell her.
“Oh, are we?” Ann says.
“You are if you don’t want the world to find out that you aren’t the rightful rulers of Adria.”
I don’t want to be a princess. I don’t want the spotlight and the chaos and the duty. But more than that, I want the people I love to be safe, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Even this.
“That would be a very hard thing to prove,” Ann tells me.
“But not impossible.” Even as I say the words, I know they’re true. “If it were impossible to prove, then none of this would be happening. My mother found proof, and you’re terrified I’m going to use it to expose you all.”
“Do you have it?” Panic fills Ann’s voice.
“Release my grandfather and you won’t have to find out.”
A long pause fills the line until Ann laughs again. “Oh, Grace. You always were a bright girl. Foolish, but bright.”
“You’re right. I am foolish. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter if you trace this call. I’m through running, but you might want to hide. You took my grandfather, and now I am coming for you.”
“Oh, Grace. Why would you do that when there is a far easier solution?”
I’m pretty sure that’s how the serpent sounded in the Garden of Eden. I’m starting to feel a lot like Eve, and yet I can’t help but snap, “What?”
I don’t believe her. I’ll never, ever trust her. But I’m not going to lie awake all night, wondering what she might have said. I’ve had enough what-ifs for a lifetime.
Still, the last thing I expect is for Ann to say, “Come home, Grace. Come home and meet me and we’ll discuss it.”
It takes a moment to be certain that I haven’t misheard.
“I might be crazy, but I’m not stupid,” I tell her.
“Talk to Ms. Chancellor, then. Ask her what you should do.”
“Gracie?”
Alexei is standing in the rain that’s falling harder now.
“Gracie, who is on the phone?”
I don’t say another word to Ann. I just hang up. She doesn’t deserve a good-bye.
Alexei inches closer to me. He’s afraid, I can tell. But I don’t stop to explain.
“Ann,” I admit. “She said there’s a solution.” It’s supposed to give me hope—the thought that there’s a way out—but it doesn’t. I’m too numb to feel anything anymore. Hope isn’t an option for me.
I can hear Alexei breathing; I can almost hear him thinking. It’s like he knows I’m standing on the threshold of a very bad idea.
“Grace, they can’t be trusted,” he says, and he’s right.
But I can’t help smiling when I look at him. “Neither can I.”
The wall that circles Valancia is a thousand years old, still tall and wide and solid. They call it one of the Wonders of the World, and it brings tourists here by the thousands. Ironic, considering that once upon a time it was built to keep people out.
Guard towers peek up at regular intervals. In a place or two, tourists can pay to climb to the top and stand with the sun on their faces as the wind blows off the sea. I know exactly how that feels, rising like a bird above the city, nothing between you and the horizon.
When I was little, I used to spend my summers chasing Jamie and Alexei up onto the wall.
When I was twelve, I jumped off, just to prove I could.
And now I’m back, wind on my face, sun at my back, on the verge of doing something stupid.
“You’re gonna be fine,” Megan says. We’re standing on top of the German embassy. From here, it’s literally a hop, skip, and a jump onto the wall itself. This is as far as my friends can follow.
“I wish you’d let us come with you,” Megan says.
“I’m supposed to go alone,” I say, just like I’ve been saying for the past twelve hours.
Once again, Rosie rolls her eyes. “Yes, and that has never ended badly.”
“Guys.” I look around at the group: Noah and Alexei both seem ready to start a fight; Megan and Rosie seem ready to end one. “I’ll be fine. And if I’m not … then at least it’s over.”
“Don’t.” Alexei grabs my hand before I can turn and jump onto the wall. “Don’t joke about that,” he says, pulling me into the safety of his arms.