“I don’t understand.” My heart is so far in my throat, my words come out a whisper.
“I’m just confused, Sonia. But I guess I’ve always cared about you when I shouldn’t.” His voice is hoarse. “Just be straight with me, for once. Are you trying to pin Gretchen’s murder on me?”
My eyes widen. “Marcus, I don’t—”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and touches the screen.
“You bitch.”
A shriek.
“Out of my face, Gretchen—God, I wish you were dead.”
“Wouldn’t that be convenient?” I close my eyes at the sound of her voice. “You could declare your love for—”
Marcus stops the video. “I think that’s enough.”
I open my eyes, trying not to panic, to find the right words. “How did you get that?”
“How did you get it, might be the more relevant question.”
I swallow hard. If I explain, I might buy myself a little time. I need to stay a step ahead of him. I have to somehow.
“It was on Gretchen’s phone.”
“Her phone was found in the water.”
“There was an SD card. I took it out, but—”
“So all this time, you’ve had it. You looked me straight in the face and said you’d seen it, but never bothered saying you knew exactly where it was.”
A hard lump rises in my throat. I thought I was protecting him; I never wanted him to know. “I wasn’t going to show anyone—”
“Then why keep it?” He glares at the phone screen. “There’s a bunch of ugly shit on here, but I’m the guiltiest-looking one. Was it as simple as that?”
“Marcus, I—”
“Why me?” he yells.
I close my eyes, unsure who I could possibly explain this to—the Marcus I thought used to hate me, the boy I kissed three nights ago, or the Marcus in front of me now. I guess I’ve lost him no matter what.
I was stupid to believe this would ever work.
My thoughts shift to my mom, Sheriff Wood, Dina, Uncle Noah—my family. My future. The one without Gretchen. Beside me, the creek ripples peacefully with no hint of the drop-off downstream.
“It was insurance, that’s all. Everyone was already saying it was you. I thought for a while I could just run from it, look the other way. I thought you hated me.” I bite my lip and look at him, my vision blurring with tears. “I didn’t expect what happened between us. The more we spent time together—I’ve never felt that way before.”
My lip trembles. I blink so I can see his eyes clearly.
“I can’t let you go down for Gretchen’s murder, because I’m the one who killed her.”
FORTY-TWO
I’VE IMAGINED THIS LOOK ON Marcus’s face a hundred times, but I hoped I’d never actually see it. His gaze is stony, his posture rigid. He looks like he wants to throw me over the falls, and I lower my head, waiting to see if he does, because I deserve it. When nothing happens, I open my mouth. One of us has to.
“It was an accident—I didn’t mean to.” My heart hammers in my chest, but I keep my eyes on the ground. “She’d been toying with me, pulling one string at a time. She kept hinting that I’d regret my decision to go to Penn, that she’d find a way to get my scholarship revoked, and I was terrified because I knew she would. I didn’t even realize how close she came until a week ago. She’d set up an entire website and posted my actual essays for sale. All I knew at the time was that I’d pissed her off. It never occurred to me there might be more to it than school. I mean, she showed me the video, but it didn’t make sense then. I didn’t get it till you told me . . . till I saw your painting the other day.” I chew my lip. “I know it’s not your fault, but I had been so careful to stay on her good side. I can only imagine what went through her head when she saw it.”
I steal a glance at Marcus, my stomach clenching when his expression hasn’t changed.
“If I lost that scholarship, there was no way I could turn down her parents’ money for college, and she knew it. I was looking for something—anything—I could use to make her leave me alone, and then you and Kirsten pissed her off just enough.” A strong breeze moves through the trees, pushing the empty swings back and forth like they’re haunted.