How can it be so hard to push someone away when all they bring into your life is pain?
The fight leaves me, and I drop my hands away from him. Panting, I sit here, staring at him, trying to figure out a solution for our fucked-up situation.
“Just forgive me,” he whispers, grabbing my hands gently.
“I can’t,” I whisper back.
“What do I have to do? Why can’t you forgive me?”
“Because I don’t want to.” This makes me sound like the biggest bitch on earth, I know that, but it’s true. “You don’t deserve to just have a happily ever after with me. Not after all of that.”
Forgiveness is a choice. A hard, brutal, up-hill battle. In order to embark on that kind of journey, a person has to truly want to do it.
Brayden lifts my hands up to his lips and kisses them like he’d kissed my cheek. “Then I’ll wait until you feel like I deserve that forgiveness.”
There’s no more will in me to fight him. Not right now. I don’t know if the anger will return tomorrow, but as of right now, I just don’t have it in me. I’m drained. I relax, the hostility draining out of me. Letting my fingers curl around his hands, I stare down at our joined hands.
My gut tells me he’s not the one, but my heart wants him so damn bad.
Not just my heart. At the very least, I’ve come to accept that I’ll always need this man’s cock.
Giving in, I slide one of my hands out of his and place it on his wet shoulder. Just touching it is enough to make me tremble with hunger. He stays perfectly still, breaths speeding up, waiting for my next move. Looking away from his eyes, I rub his large, defined shoulder in circles.
I hear his deep swallow, and the sound of it turns me on so much.
Eyes on my hand, I watch it move from his shoulder. My fingers graze his clavicle before moving down to his chest. Beneath my hand, his heart is a wild war drum, a powerful beat that speeds up my own. I trace his nipple, loving the way his breath catches.
“You’re fucking killing me here,” he grits out.
Laughing under my breath, I let my fingers trail down to his glorious, glorious abs. There are no words to describe this six pack. I’ve kissed, licked, and bitten it many times, and I still can’t get over how sexy his midsection is.
I reach the band of his red swim trunks. His cock is even harder than it’d been in the kitchen earlier. Hard and pulsing for my touch. Panting, I dip my finger just inside the waistband.
Like a fucking bullet, that man grabs both my hands and maneuvers me so I’m lying on my back. He does it so fast I barely have time to register my new position and then he’s crawling over me, his movements slowing down to that of a deadly predator.
That large body moving over mine with all that barely held-back intent.
I swallow the lump in my throat, arching up toward him.
The cups of my bathing suit top are yanked to the side. I gasp at the feeling of air caressing my exposed nipples. Brayden reaches down and unties his trunks, pulling them down just low enough to slide his cock out.
I wrap my thumbs around my bikini bottoms and begin to push them down, but am stopped by his hands wrapping around my wrists.
His eyes are so dark and hypnotic. The vibe he’s putting off has me shaking. There’s no will to resist as he pulls my hands up above my head, pinning them with one hand as his tongue moves across my parted lips.
Eyes locked on mine, his fingers shove my bathing suit to the side and he slams his cock in. My back arches, every nerve firing off as my eyes flutter and I clench around him.
Fuck, how does this feel so perfectly right when everything else is wrong?
The concrete stings my skin as it bites in with each thrust. His hips slow down to long, slow strokes, his arm moving under my back, cushioning me. I draw my legs up, wrapping them around his waist, trapping him. Little whimpers mingle with his low moans that turn me on even more.
One hand is fisted in his hair, the other digging into his back, and I bite his lower lip, earning a single hard, deep thrust.
“Fuck, Kitty, you feel so fucking good.”
With each rotation of his hips I lock on harder, pulling him closer, deeper. My breasts are mashed against his strong chest. The slower pace is agony. Every inch that enters until his hips meet mine drives me crazy because it’s not enough and too much at the same time. When he pulls out, my thighs clench to draw him back in.
“Fucking tease,” I whine.
His lips quirk up into that fucking smirk of his. “Just feel, baby.”
A strangled cry crawls out of my throat as he winds me tight with each slow thrust.
My walls clamp down, and he lets out a long, low moan that makes me shiver. His forehead falls onto me as he pushes deeper.
Closer and closer, on the verge of spiraling out of control. Just a little more.
“Shit!” he hisses and freezes.