The cynical, injured part of me doesn’t, but . . . “Yeah, I do.”
His shoulders fall, and he sighs as the tensions leaves him. “I will not be with another woman now that I’ve had you. You’re the best I’ve ever had in every fucking way. No one’s ever owned me like you do. I can’t even bring myself to think of another woman.”
My cheeks heat up again, and I’m grateful it’s night out. Even with the pool lights, I doubt he can see me blushing. “That’s impossible. You’re a human man. I’m sure you still have some sort of celebrity crush, at least.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “Baby, celebrity crushes? Sure. Why not? But even if one of those chicks somehow appeared in front of me, I doubt I’d be interested in the real life deal. Hot women are everywhere, but in my opinion, I’ve got the hottest. The sexiest. The best girl in bed and out of it. Why the hell would I look elsewhere?”
Giddiness floods through my veins, overwhelming everything I consist of. It’s the perfect thing to say. Something every girl on earth would die to hear. It’s too good. Straight out of a dream. I know better than to believe that. He’s just reeling me in. Hook, line, and sinker.
Nothing I tell myself penetrates through. I’m freaking happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. His compliment sucker-punches me in the gut. No man has ever had the power to make me feel this way with just a compliment. And I’ve received many, I won’t lie.
I . . . Oh, God, am I still in love with this man? Like, in in love with him? Is that why his words have such an intense effect on me?
The world spins.
“Kira?”
“I’ve got to go.” It’s probably the millionth time I try to run away from him. Rounding him, I half-run, half-swim toward the stairs. I’m about to take the first step when his arms come around me from behind, hauling me into his wet body. The feel of him compounds with the emotions I’m struggling with. Hunger hollows out my soul, begging for him.
I struggle against him; he tightens his arms around me and lowers his head next to my ear.
“Let me go, Brayden.”
“No.”
“Why, damn you? Why?”
“I need to know.” His breaths are harsh in my ear.
I grind my teeth, squeeze my eyes closed, and struggle to ignore how much I need him. “Know what?”
“What I just saw in your expression . . . I need to know it’s real.”
My first fear-fueled instinct is to deny. Deny, deny, deny. But I’m too tired to play this stupid game anymore. “Please, let go. Just let go of everything so we can both move on.”
He exhales roughly and bites down into my shoulder. “Never. Do you hear me, Kira? Never.”
This is why hanging out with him is a bad idea. Why I’m so stupid. I can’t keep letting him convince me to spend time with him. Fucking him isn’t helping to get him out of my system, so there’s only one thing left to do.
“It’s over,” I tell him. “Whatever this thing between us was, it’s done. I’m finished fucking you. We had each other, multiple times. There’s no need to continue.”
His arms slacken.
I grab my chance and bolt out of them, practically flying up the stone steps and onto the deck.
That’s where he catches me. I don’t get more than a second’s notice. My ears register the sound of splashing water as he rushes out the pool, then his hands are around my waist, spinning me around so fast I lose my footing on the wet deck.
Brayden catches me and slowly lowers me to the ground. He kneels on the first step, still inside the pool, and tries spreading my legs to make room for his body.
I beat on his shoulders. “It’s over. Just stop already!”
He takes my hits and forces my legs open. Leaning into me, he kisses my cheek softly.
I hit him harder.
For each hit, he gives me another soft, soothing kiss.
“Why are you still here, damn it?” I want to cry. I’ve given this man so many of my tears during my life, and it’s inconceivable that I have yet more to give him.
“Because I love you. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. This man right here can’t breathe without you. Losing you is certain death for me.”
“It’ll never get any better. It’ll always be this. Us fighting. Me reliving the pain. The never-ending fucking misery.”
His lips graze mine. “It’s not just misery and you know it.”
“Ugh!” The worst thing in the world is coming against this level of stubbornness. I won’t budge, and neither will he. “Don’t you hear me? It’s always going to be like this. I’ll never be the sweet, innocent, stupid, naive, loving girl with you again.”
“Okay. I’ll take it. For the rest of my life, I’ll take whatever you have to dish out. But I’m not going anywhere.”
An entire lifetime of this? I can barely imagine it, so I don’t know how he can be this accepting of the idea. My heart’s breaking at the thought of never finding peace. Of constantly living in this crazy up-and-down rollercoaster.