“Yo, Kira, are you okay?” Ashley’s hand waves in front of my face, and I blink at her. “Girl, what is it?”
She moves to look at my phone and I snap it close to my chest, making her eyes pop open in surprise.
“Kira, show me.”
“No.”
Her gaze narrows, then she leans forward and snatches the phone from my hand, turning away before I can grab it back.
“Ashley!” I reach for it, but it’s too late.
Her eyes are glued to the screen, just as I’m sure mine were.
“Oh, my God.” She glances up at me, then back down at the screen. “I think I just came.”
My body goes rigid, and I grab the phone back as an unwanted rage boils in me.
Ashley’s whole face is in shock. “I think I may have to switch to team Brayden.”
“Shhh!” I hush her, grabbing her arm as I drag her into the bathroom.
I need a minute to calm down, to collect myself. The bell goes off, and I don’t care that I’m late to calculus.
I had to tell my girls some of what was going on after what happened over my birthday, but I didn’t tell them everything, all the crap that’s gone on over the years, so I told them he asked me out. That alone caused them to form sides. Jenna and Marilyn are team Brayden, while Ashley makes up team Austin.
“Seriously, girl, you need to have that hot-as-fuck male specimen, if just for scientific research.”
“Research?”
“Yeah. See how many times that beast can make you come, and report to us so we can live vicariously in your bliss.”
Fuck. Bliss.
I hate to admit that she’s probably right. It’s bad enough my body betrays me every time I’m near him, even just hearing his voice.
I don’t want him . . . but I do. Scratch this itch that takes over and forget who I am, forget about the world.
Fuck him out of my system and be done with him.
“That would be bad.”
“No, it would be good. Very good.” Her eyes soften and she takes my hand. “Look, I know there’s a lot of baggage between you two, even without you saying it. It’s obvious. And while I’m still totally team Austin, what’s wrong with a hate fuck with Brayden?”
I shake my head. “You’re terrible.”
“No, I’m right.” She steps back toward the door. “Come on, let’s get to class. We can talk about it later. I’m sure Marilyn and Jenna want to weigh in.”
I let out a groan and step forward. The last thing I want is all of their opinions, let alone allowing them all to view the picture. I’ll never get my phone back, and I also don’t want anyone else seeing something that was for me alone.
“Wait.” I hold my phone up high, hitting the camera function and selfie my response with a middle finger just for him. It’s sitting in my cleavage, thanks to the angle. Oh, well.
With my response out, we head to class. It’s only five minutes in when I slip into my seat and lean over to my neighbor, Thomas. “What did I miss?”
He smiles and hands me a stapled stack of papers. “Review. I grabbed you a copy.”
“Thank you!”
As I turn back, my phone buzzes and a message pops up on the screen.
I’m more than happy to fuck those tits, baby.
I sigh and change my phone over to silent before slipping it back in my pocket. Brayden being home is not a good thing. Three hundred miles away was bad enough, but now? My skin itches, my heart races, and the attraction is overpowering.
When I get home he’ll be across the hall, a few feet from me, and no Ryan to shield me because my rat of a brother abandoned me for a girl.
Not that I fault Ryan for it, but I do like to tease him about it. Years of back and forth with Dana and they’re finally together. I know him, and that despite what he’s put off, he loves her.
I stare down at the Calculus review. Only a few more days and school’s out, and I can’t wait to be done. Then again, that leaves me home alone with Brayden.
Lord, give me strength to stave off this lust.
May 27th, 2015
The words in front of me blur. Not because I’m tired, but because my attention once again wanders.
I shake my head, trying to refocus. It’s exhausting to fight this raging curiosity badgering my mind.
Is he partying right now?
Come on—of course he is. It’s his twenty-first birthday. Ryan and Dana invited me to go with them. I declined, of course.
They said they were taking him out for dinner and then drinks.
As per Ryan and Brayden’s usual status in quo, I’m assuming that drinks is code for “partying their asses off.”
Whatever. I’m used to it. It’s not like I was tempted to go or anything.
I uncap my highlighter and set back into it.
Blurs. Nonsense. Some more blurs.
I’m not getting shit done.
Aggravated, I drop the highlighter onto my French workbook. My final is on Friday. I started out French late, but my plan is to continue in college and be fluent in two years tops.
Jenna and the twins are also studying their asses off, but none of them are in French, so they aren’t available to offer me any kind of distraction.