“Yeah?” he breathes, closing his eyes.
Gotcha, baby. With his defenses down, I let him go swiftly and attack. I tickle him under his armpits and on his sides, making him laugh. I think I’m winning when Lawrence shocks me by flipping me over, caging me under his body, and begins an unforgiving assault on my body with his tickling fingers. And we laugh, and laugh, and laugh until our stomachs hurt and both of us have tears in our eyes.
“Oh God, stop, Lawrence,” I croak. “I beg you.”
“Say the words.”
“You win! You win!”
Lawrence stops and begins to kiss every inch of my body, soothing me with his tongue. By the time he reaches my mouth, I open it and welcome his assault, hungry for him. .
“Goddamn, Blaire,” he says huskily, breaking away. Lawrence wraps my hair in his hands, his gaze roaming my face. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
I shake my head, but what takes me by surprise and leaves me momentarily speechless is the glimpse of emotion that I see peek through his eyes.
“You make me remember what it feels like to live again, Blaire. You make me—”
As his words fill my ears, it’s another voice that I hear and another face that I see …
He grins. “—go out with me, Blaire.”
I shake my head, fighting a smile. “I know I’m going to regret this.”
“Maybe … but live a little.”
“I like my life to be planned and uncomplicated.”
“It’s better to live a life full of regrets than not live at all.” He lowers his voice and adds huskily, “Let me show you how it’s done.”
No, no, no, no, NO! Ronan can’t disrupt this moment. He can’t. He can’t. Not now, please, please, please. Cupping Lawrence’s cheeks, I hope he doesn’t hear the ache in my heart as I pull him closer to me. “Hush … kiss me, Lawrence.”
When our mouths become one, I find myself kissing him with everything that I have, fooling myself into believing that this man is who I want. And as the war between our lips becomes more urgent, harder, I find myself believing my own lie.
He pulls away. “Let’s go back to my place.”
“Why?” I blink drowsily. “What’s wrong with my apartment?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” He tightens his arms around me. “I want to wake up with you in my bed.”
Back in the safety of his room, warm and content, I begin to fall asleep in Lawrence’s arms. And it’s in that semi-conscious state, where my lies peel off their deceitful layers, revealing the truths within, that I wish for a different set of arms.
Lawrence
WITH MY ARMS WRAPPED AROUND HER, I pull her closer to me and watch her sleep. I bury my nose in her hair, breathing her in, and wish I could tell her what she does to me, what she makes me feel, what she makes me yearn for. I wasn’t planning on telling her about my past. I’ve never told anyone before. Yet I found myself opening to her, and for once, revisiting the past didn’t hurt. It’s as though it is truly in the past now.
I chuckle ruefully and ponder how she can drive me to such madness, such want and need?
Sometimes, I wonder if karma enjoys laughing at our expense. You tell life that you want to go left, only to find a rock blocking that road so you must go right. You tell life that you found the woman you want to marry only to discover that she loves your best friend. You tell life that your dormant heart doesn’t beat anymore at the sight of anyone or anything, and what does it do? It sends you a slip of a woman with a quick tongue and fire in her eyes who not only makes your heart beat at the sight of her, but she makes it throb with such intensity, so much passion, you’re surprised it hasn’t shattered yet. You tell life that work and success are all you need to be complete, and they are … until you make her smile. And then you know it was all a lie because you would sacrifice everything you own and even the clothes on your back just for one more smile from her.
So I shouldn’t be surprised by the fact that owning her body isn’t enough for me anymore. I want it all. I want everything from her.
Watching her come undone in my hands, my cock pulsing inside her, her nails clawing my back. Watching her lose herself with me, in the pleasure I bring her …
Christ, it’s a sight to behold.
I live for those moments because it’s when I see my wild beauty. The one without fears, without mind games. And she’s beautiful. And she’s devastation. Just thinking of anyone who’s owned part of her, who may still own her, drives me mad with raging jealousy, because she belongs to me, even if she doesn’t know it yet.