Her eyes flew open wide in response to my fury that was impossible to mask.
“How would I know, Winston?” Her hands went to her waist defensively. “I’d been fucking you and your father at the same time. I was stupid and careless. But he was old and I needed your youth and beauty. Your dick was always on go and ready to please me. He couldn’t keep up with my needs. You did. I was wrapped up in his power and money, but I was addicted to fucking you. So no, I was never sure who Wills belonged to!” Her cheeks were pink and flushed. I could see the way she was moving toward me and the way her chest was rising and falling too quickly. It was obvious what she wanted. What she was thinking about. She definitely wasn’t focused on Wills right now.
“But you didn’t care either did you?” I shot back at her and moved away putting distance between us. I didn’t want her close to me. Her choices, her selfishness . . . it disgusted me. However, her mental trip down memory lane had caused her to think about things she wanted and missed. Things I never wanted to experience again.
“I was confused, Winston. Scared. Your father is a powerful man. I was doing what I had to in order to protect us both.”
Again, no mention of Wills. As if his well-being was of no consequence to her.
“It seems you’re not the only woman to marry the man and not be sure who had fathered the child she carried. My mother did the same thing. Who fathered me, however, is unknown. I’ll have to ask her. What I do know is she left me with that man exactly like you left Wills. Not entirely sure if he was your child’s father or not. But the money he gave you was more important than the welfare of your child.” The pain my mother had caused was coming through and I was putting that on Hilda. And she deserved it. She’d done the same thing. They were alike—vain and self-absorbed.
“What are you talking about?” Her perfectly plucked brow barely wrinkled with the Botox I knew had to be under her skin.
“My mother was like you. She was fucking someone else while she was with my father. The DNA results came back and they didn’t just confirm that Wills was mine,” I paused and glared at her. I wanted to make sure she understood all of this. Every damn word. “Wills isn’t his grandson either. There is NO blood relation to the man I always assumed was my father to Wills. Yet Wills is my son. So that tells you what?”
Her eyes rounded and her jaw dropped. She blinked several times. I let that information sink in. She covered her mouth with her left hand. I turned and walked away. Her candid shock only infuriated me more. This was all something I had forced. She’d never have pushed for me to check Wills paternity. I did that without provocation. I was the one who wanted to know. She didn’t want Wills. Her showing up here had nothing to do with Wills, I knew that now. I saw past her shallow excuse.
“Why are you here, Hilda? What is it you want?”
She studied me for a moment. Truths and lies flashed in her eyes as she decided what it was she wanted to tell me.
“Tell me the fucking truth, damn you!” I roared in frustration.
She didn’t back away. She didn’t appear scared nor did she play the victim. Instead, she took a step toward me. “I came for you. I want you. You want Wills and I can help you get him. But I want you,” she said the words as she ran a hand over her left breast. “We were good together, Winston. You know we were.”
I stood there. Not much surprised me anymore. But this, at the moment she chose to pull this stunt, it was like slapping me in the face. More proof she cared nothing for our son. I’d created a child with a heartless woman. He had a mother much like my own and I’d done this. It was my fault.
“I will fight for my son with or without your help, Hilda. I have the power I need now. This idea you have that we can go back to what we had when I was a kid is stupid. Pathetic. It’s also a waste of my time. I don’t need you here. If you cared about Wills then I would respect your presence. But this . . . offer you’ve made? I don’t want it. I don’t think I can even stomach repeating it.”
She threw her shoulders back as if she were born into money rather than married into it. “Because of that girl?” her words sounded bitter.
“That girl is the woman I have waited my life to love. She saved me.”
Hilda rolled her eyes and sighed. “I thought you were smarter than that. Jesus, Winston. That’s what is pathetic. No vagina is that good. You’ve had a lot of them. Don’t tell me hers is magic.”
This wasn’t a conversation I was going to have with anyone, especially not Hilda.
“If you want to help with Wills, stay. But you better remember your reason for staying here and your place. If you want nothing more than to try and fuck me, leave now. You’re wasting my time.”
A large part of me wanted her to walk out the door. I feared her presence could hurt things with Beulah. I didn’t trust Hilda, but she was Wills’ mother. Even if she was a careless bitch, she was his mother. He needed to see her fight for him.
“He’s my son. I’m staying.”
Beulah
GERALDINE HAD ASKED TO GO visit Heidi when I arrived this morning. She’d already made the cake batter and started making cream cheese icing when I walked in the door. The thought of seeing my sister made things seem brighter.
Leaving Stone’s this morning I had felt as if we were drifting apart. I didn’t have a reason to feel that way. And I was aware my insecurities were heightened after learning he was a father. It also didn’t help that Hilda was staying in his house. Not to mention it was possible I was carrying our child. My emotions were all over the place.
Geraldine’s idea was better. Focusing on Heidi was safe.
Lucky for me, Geraldine also had me making cookies because they were her grandmother’s recipe and she knew Heidi and May would love them. That gave me even more to occupy my thoughts. It was almost lunch when we finished baking and Geraldine had put her final touches on everything.
I’d thought Stone might stop by, or I had hoped he would. Being apart was difficult right now. Things seemed so rocky and I had suddenly become needy. I didn’t like that feeling at all.
“I have this beautiful pink dress with ruffles. You can twirl and the ruffles dance all around you. It’s perfection. Do you think Heidi would like that? It’s hanging in my closet. Every time I see it I wish someone could enjoy it the way I once did. We both know I’ll end up prancing down here in it eventually when I’m in a crazy spell. Might as well give it to someone who can use it.”