I closed my eyes and the panic didn’t ease, and still I felt like I was walking the edge. I was so far from it when all of this with Dylan started. I’d wanted a man who would indulge me with a no-strings sexual education. He was a man who didn’t believe in strings. It had been a perfect match. We’d been fated to meet.
But I’d expected banging and dirty talk, sneaking away to meet up for something sordid and naughty. That wasn’t what this had turned out to be at all. This was heartfelt conversations and seeing a magnificent man trying his best with his son. This was human and sweet and real, and I’d be lying to myself to say it didn’t change everything.
So here I was now. Walking the edge. Trying with all my might not to panic and look down. Knowing there was only one sure way to stay safe.
Knowing if I didn’t turn and walk away, I’d fall.
Eleven
Dylan
My heart pounded for long minutes after she left us in the lobby. My hands were sweaty, and I hadn’t even put on my gloves yet. The encounter had been unexpected, and I was free-falling in the aftermath.
“She’s pretty,” Aaron admitted as we walked outside.
“Is she?” As if I’d been fooling anyone. As if I hadn’t been simultaneously trying to tamp down my erection while she’d made casual conversation with my teenage son.
God, she was closer to his age than mine!
Did that make me a sick man to want her as much as I did?
Possibly. Probably. Definitely when I considered the kind of poison that I would be to a guileless innocent like she was, in her fashionably ripped jeans and pink-glossed lips. Colliding into her had been like crashing into sunshine. She made me feel warm in places that had been cold for oh, so long.
What did that mean that I did for her? Did she absorb the pervasive chill from my bones? Did I leave her feeling bitter, bleak, and barren?
What kind of person could take so freely from a light like her? I’d beat anyone who attempted to do the same to Aaron.
I didn’t want to be that callous of a human. I refused to be.
I stopped short on the pavement and turned to my son. “I’ve reconsidered. You can walk as long as you go straight home. No dallying.”
Aaron beamed with gratitude then scooted on his way.
And, with a sigh, I retreated back inside to do what must be done. If I was going to put a stop to this farce of a situation with Audrey, it was best to do it quick and fast. Best not to leave her waiting.
She was at the window when I stepped in. I knew she’d heard me arrive. Her head had shifted toward the sound of my footsteps, though she didn’t completely turn to face me.
That made this easier.
“I think we need to reevaluate,” I began.
But she spoke at the same time. “I didn’t mean to come so early. I…” She pivoted in my direction. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.”
“You first,” I prodded, determined to remain the gentleman.
“I...just…” She pushed a lock of hair back from her face. “I got here earlier than I meant to, for which I truly apologize. I didn’t think for a second I’d end up seeing you with your son.” Her tone of voice suggested her line of thinking matched mine.
Why was that so disappointing?
I cleared my throat. “It does put things into perspective, doesn’t it?”
She nodded ever so carefully.
“It’s best, I suppose, that we figured this out now.” I attempted a smile.
“It is. Definitely best.” She couldn’t meet my eyes. “I’ll go.” She lifted her chin and started toward me, toward the door.
Cold washed down the back of my neck. She couldn’t stay, but I didn’t want her to leave. “That’s not necessary, is it? Your train doesn’t depart for hours. Surely you could…”
She could...what?
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said quietly, only a meter from me now.
“No. I suppose not.” I could feel the heat radiating off her body. I wanted to bathe in her sun. I wanted to bask and burn, and when she went on her way, I’d settle back into the familiarity of the gloom. Was that so wrong?
I took a step toward her, against every instinct in my body. “It was fun, though, wasn’t it? As brief as it was.”
“It was. It really was.”
Did she just inch closer? Likely wishful thinking on my part.
“It was silly, too,” she said now, and this time she definitely moved nearer. Or I did. “Thinking I could learn anything in such a short amount of time.”
“I’m still convinced you didn’t need to learn a single thing.” We were so close I could breathe her in now. She smelled fresh and crisp, an unusual combination of baby powder and apples. She smelled young. She smelled too young.
“Maybe it was just an excuse to have a new experience.” She slid her tongue across her lower lip. Her gaze flicked from my eyes to my mouth.
“A new experience,” I repeated.
“An amazing new experience.” Her chin tilted upward. “An experience that would stay with me for a lifetime.”
Someone shifted, both of us maybe, because she was in my arms suddenly, our mouths moving against each other with unbridled longing. Her hands worked eagerly at her coat, shirking it to the ground when she’d gotten it open.
I ran my nose along the slope of her neck, down the line of the shoulder that peeked from her wide cowl neck, goosebumps peppering in the wake of my journey. All thought left me. I was consumed with only her—the scent of her, the taste of her. The reality of her. I no longer cared about our age difference or the ill effect I could have on her or that I was undeserving of even a small piece of her.
I simply let the wind blow, and I let myself get carried away with it.
Never breaking our kiss, I walked her to the back of the couch, then spun her around so she could brace herself there while I enjoyed the full of her body. My hands snaked around and found their way under her gray jumper. My fingers danced over her silky, supple skin. She was soft where I was hard, inside and out, and the need to feel her everywhere, with every part of me, was desperate and unyielding.
“I feel very conflicted about these windows.” I tugged her pullover off then pinched her nipples through her bra, thrilling when she let out a delicious squeak. “I can’t decide if I need to shelter you, or if I should show you off.”
“Do that!” Her voice was breathless and thin, as though she were on a razor’s edge the same way I was. “Show me off. Show me off!”
I lowered my hands to undo the button of her jeans, then knelt as I pulled them down as far as they’d go before becoming trapped by her boots. “Show you off it is. Everyone can watch while I eat you out.”
The sound she made this time—a high-pitched, need-filled yelp—made my cock expand to its full size. I scorned the ache of it, pressing brutally against the fly of my trousers.
It distracted me, called for my attention, and the only thing I wanted to pay attention to at the moment was her, standing between me and the couch, her lace-covered ass at eye level. She’d curved her body just so, spread her legs just wide enough, that the crotch panel of her panties was front and center in my field of vision. The material clung to her shape, outlining the lips of her pussy.
She shivered as I traced the path with a solid swipe of my tongue. She was wet, and even through the cotton lining, I could taste her. She tasted sweet like pineapple and musky like bourbon, and before I’d even had my lips on her flesh, I knew she was the most delicious thing I’d ever had my mouth on.
Moving the panel aside, I tried to focus on doing some good with my lust. She’d wanted to be taught so I endeavored to show her what she liked.
“Pay attention to what I do now,” I instructed her. I brushed my tongue vertically over the nub of her clit. “That was up and down.” I tilted my head and lapped horizontally. “That’s side to side. And this—” I flattened my tongue and drew small circles. “Is circular. Hopefully that helps you figure out what you enjoy.”
“I’m not sure. All of them,” she said. “Just don’t stop.”