I hung up and took another draw from my cigar before opening the door, thankful that the cold prevented me having to walk in with a tent in my trousers.
“Aaron’s doing good?” Donovan asked, not bothering to open his eyes at my return.
“Yes. Quite good. Excited for...for our plans this weekend.” I headed back to the warm burn of the bourbon and the comfort of the armchair.
“Great to hear. I guess I won’t worry about how sore your cock is going to make his pussy then.”
Donovan was listening, that bugger.
Talking to Audrey had put me in such a good mood, however, I didn’t have the heart to respond with anything other than a sly grin.
Ten
Audrey
I don’t know exactly why I didn’t tell Sabrina about Dylan beyond that kiss.
There were a few reasons not to, sure. After she’d rode off that night with Donovan Kincaid, they’d put their relationship on hold until they could talk, which was to happen immediately after I left town. Even with the pause, I knew she was still completely consumed with him. She didn’t need to hear details of my affair. She’d fuss too much over me and neglect her own emotions like she always did. And my affair was silly compared to hers.
Or I was afraid she’d think it was silly.
Or maybe I was afraid she’d realize it really wasn’t—afraid she’d realize that this thing with Dylan was really important to me in ways I couldn’t explain, even to myself. Maybe I did have some daddy issues, but it was nothing I planned to discuss with my sister.
Mostly, I was afraid she’d demand those explanations. Sure, I’d tell her what I told him—that I wanted the experience, that I needed a teacher. But would I also tell her that I wanted the experience exclusively with Dylan? That I was attracted to him from the first words that slipped across his tongue in that to-die-for British dialect? Attracted to his tall frame and his dark eyes and that frown that rested permanently on his lips.
Would she have lectured me more about his cynicism, warning me that it was a situation that could only lead to heartache? She would have presumed I believed I could transform him.
And, no matter how much I protested, she probably wouldn’t be convinced otherwise.
Most scary of all, I was afraid she would have been right. Because deep inside me there was a flicker of hope, that eternal flame that burns in hearts like mine, the same kind of light that allows zealots to proclaim tirelessly about their god. I believed, I believed that love fixed all. I believed in sharing that faith. Of course I wanted to convert everyone around me.
Of course I hoped I could convert Dylan, too. And that was silly. I didn’t need Sabrina to tell me just how silly it was.
So I didn’t say a word after telling her about that first kiss, and I didn’t tell her I’d changed my train ticket. I worried about it silently over our last breakfast together at a cute cafe down the street. She was planning to take me to Grand Central Station to see me off, and how was that going to work? What if she saw me to security, and they didn’t let me through because I was so early? What if they did let me through, but I couldn’t sneak back out to meet up with Dylan?
“You seem distracted,” she said, as we rode the elevator to her apartment to get my luggage after breakfast. “Do you have a lot of homework waiting for you?”
I did. But that wasn’t on my mind. “Yeah. Homework. Finals are coming up now too.”
“I should have insisted you studied more.”
I threw her a glare. “No. You shouldn’t have. Because you’re not my mom.”
She twisted her lips as though trying not to say what she wanted to say. Then she lost the battle. “Feels like it sometimes.”
My immediate instinct was to take her comment personally, but I didn’t want to argue with her when we were close to saying goodbye, and when I let myself think about her position, I totally understood why she’d feel she had to mother me.
“I’m sure it’s a hard habit to break,” I said stepping out of the elevator ahead of her. I’d meant to let it go at that, but I turned back to her instead of walking on to her door. “I’m ready to have you just be my sister. I need you to be that more than my parent these days.”
She wrapped her arms around her body and frowned a moment. But then the lines around her mouth relaxed and her lips turned into a small smile. “As long as you still need me.”
“I’ll always need you, you psychopath.”
We walked silently toward her apartment, both of us in our thoughts. Then, when she opened her door and held it open for me to go inside, she said, “I might be crazy, actually.”
“Because you’re going to give Donovan a chance to win back your heart?”
She kept holding it while I tugged my suitcase into the hall. I’d left it just inside the apartment so we could just grab it and go.
“Maybe.” But I could tell it was more than a maybe. That she was already back in his arms in her mind. That their impending talk was just a matter of procedure.
She was agonizing over it, though. And that’s when I realized my opportunity. “Hey, you don’t really need to go with me to the train station. I’ll be okay getting there by myself.”
“But, I want to come!”
“That’s stupid and out of your way. We can say goodbye here just as easily, and then you can get to Donovan sooner.”
She finished locking up and then, out of character, she pulled me into a tight hug. “I love you,” she whispered, and I knew it wasn’t just her way of saying thank you for letting her get to her man, but that she really meant for me to hear it.
“I love you, too.” I did. More than I could ever say. She was the reason I’d made it as far as I had. She was why I hadn’t turned out grim and grumpy. I’d been an orphan, and she’d upended her whole life to take care of me. She made fun of me at times, but she’d been the one who’d taught me that love wins. She’d never let me know any other way.
Downstairs, we each summoned an Uber and after another hug, we drove our separate ways. My eyes got teary, but I didn’t cry like I usually did when we parted. I’d see her again in a month for Christmas, and I had a date with Dylan to distract me from how much I’d miss her.
Because I didn’t have to deal with Sabrina at the train station like I’d thought I’d have to, I ended up at Dylan’s building earlier than I’d planned to. I bustled into the lobby, humming “Carol of the Bells” and pulling my suitcase behind me with one hand while I wrestled with my phone’s screen lock with the other. I’d just send him a text, let him know I was there already.
Obviously, I was preoccupied, which was why I wasn’t paying attention and smacked right into an older guy who was coming off of the elevator. He had a solid body. Toned muscles were definitely hidden under the brick-red pullover sweater. His smelled of cinnamon and aftershave, and my belly began fluttering with butterflies before I even looked up and confirmed that the body belonged to Dylan.
His hands came up to steady me, grasping my elbows firmly. Sparks shot through my veins, and though we were about to go upstairs and get busy touching in so many other ways, I didn’t want him to let me go long enough to move at all.
“Hi.” I sounded shy and awkward. Not my usual self at all, which I blamed mostly on the collision, but the way he was looking at me with those liquid brown eyes didn’t help.
“Hi.” He gave the slightest of smiles.
Then quickly it disappeared. “Pardon me. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you okay now? Steady enough? You aren’t hurt?”
“Dad, she’s fine,” a thin voice grumbled.
My eyes flew to Dylan’s side and collided with a teenage boy who could only be Aaron Locke. Even if he hadn’t just referred to him as Dad, it was apparent the two were related. The boy had his father’s height, his dimpled chin, his puppy dog eyes, his floppy brown hair.