Frowning, I shook my head and tried to accept her words for what they were: a compliment!
Bending down, I rubbed my hand over her stomach and glanced up at her smiling face. “You look amazing, darlin’. I can’t believe you’re pregnant again! What’s this now, number three?”
She shrugged on a ‘eh’, and pointed at JD, “Yep, number three. Blame it on this one, he can’t keep his damn hands off me. Which I get by the way, I’m one fucking hot bitch.”
Laughing at her usual boisterous antics, I looked round Cass to see JD stood beside Austin and Levi, all drinking beers, watching a basketball game on Austin’s wide screen.
Shifting around Cass, I moved to the ever-smiling JD and crushed him in a bear hug. “How’re you, darlin’?” I asked and stepped back.
“Not too bad, Al, how’re you? Heard you’re curating some fancy ass exhibition here in Seattle.”
I rolled my eyes and looked at Austin who was smiling. “Let me guess, Austin told you that?”
Next to me Levi started laughing as Austin shrugged. “Well it is, right? Fancy ass, I mean.”
Shaking my head, but smiling at how they viewed the art world, I threw my arm around Levi’s shoulder, ruffling his sandy hair. “Don’t you laugh, Lev, you’re meant to be more cultured than this sorry lot!”
Levi laughed, then his face beamed bright red as he glanced down to my outfit. “You look real pretty, Ally,” he said quietly, and my heart swelled. He was such a good kid. But then my heart quickly deflated as I wished I could make him see that Axel was a good man too. A man who had done more for his brothers than they knew. A man who loved them so much, but didn’t know how to express it, because he’d never been shown how.
Faking a smile, I hugged him hard and replied, “And you’re not too shabby yourself, Lev. Tell me, you got a girl yet? The chicks at college must be clamoring after you. If I was younger, you’d have been on my radar.” I winked.
He gave me his usual shy smile and shook his head. “No, ma’am, no girls as yet.” Austin was watching Lev as his younger brother closed in on himself. I could see the racking worry in his gaze.
“Hey Ally!” Hearing Lexi enter the room, I turned and walked to kiss her on the cheek. Within minutes I had a glass of Moscato in hand and was crushed beside Cassie on the couch, Molly and Lexi sitting in chairs in front of us.
Glimpsing something flicker in the darkened hallway, my heart began to race when I caught sight of Axel, hiding in the shadows, watching me. Knowing he could see me, I smiled in his direction and I caught his lip hook into a smirk as he stepped further into the light. God, he was beautiful. As always, he was dressed all in black, his long hair falling like a curtain over his face, but those dark eyes I loved so much stayed on me, drinking me in, making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
God, I wanted to go to him. I wanted my friends to welcome him into the room, talk to him because they liked him and he belonged to me. I wanted them to watch me openly walk up to him and kiss him without shame. I wanted them to accept him because we belonged to one another, no matter how difficult it was for them to understand.
But I knew it couldn’t be. My friends, his brothers, wouldn’t understand. So instead, I had to make do with furtive glimpses into the shadows, where the man who held my heart hid from the world... the world that had shunned him… the world that, at age thirty, he didn’t understand.
“Axel?”
My every muscle froze on hearing Axel’s name being called from behind me. I turned to see Austin rushing forward, a huge smile on his face.
Glancing back to the shadows, I saw Axel trying to duck his head and get away, but it was too late, Austin had already seen him.
“Axe!” Austin called, “Come have a beer with us… with me.” He belatedly corrected himself, clearly embarrassed at his slip.
Rome’s eyes narrowed as he stood beside Lev and JD. Levi cast his eyes down on seeing his big brother and Rome muttered something to himself.
Anger burned in my veins at my cousin’s change of mood. Thankfully, Austin stood before Axel, a hopeful look on his face. “I didn't think you’d come down when I invited you to join us earlier. I’m so damn glad you did, fratello.”
My heart sank when I heard how happy Austin was that Axel had shown face. Because I knew Axel would never have come down here to sit with us. He shunned any contact with people or crowds. Yet here he was, skulking in the safety of the dark just so he could watch me.
Suddenly I felt like crying. Axel should feel welcome in his own family’s house. He shouldn’t have to keep what he felt for me a secret, for fear of my friends turning their backs on me... because of the man I’d chosen to lo—
My hand flew to my chest as I realized what I’d been just about to admit. I couldn’t… I didn’t, not yet, right? It was impossible… it was…