“That star means you’ve killed or shot someone?” Lexi’s shocked voice sounded beside me, and I almost cussed again. I’d forgotten I’d left out that part of the explanation. Forgotten she knew nothing about this life.
Staring at her shell-shocked face, I admitted, “You get it when you shoot your first member of the Kings. Don’t matter if he survives or dies. It’s about taking the shot for the crew. Proving you’re in this life one hundred percent.”
Lexi’s sleeve-covered palm lifted over her mouth and her eyes grew to the size of the moon. “Have… have you… killed anyone?” Her focus was all on the stidda on my cheek, like she could see the answer if she stared long enough.
Closing my eyes, I tried to stay calm by breathing in real slow through my nose. “I shot someone in the chest. Never knew if it woulda killed him or not.”
“You didn’t stick around to find out?” she whispered anxiously.
I glimpsed at Levi watching me for my answer too, and I shrugged. “Didn’t have to. Axe shot him between the eyes before I ever found out. He was a key member of their crew and he needed to be taken out.”
Water filled Lexi’s eyes, and I felt Levi hang his head. In shame, disappointment? I didn’t wanna know.
“Hello, you must be Levi,” Lexi said, moving on from what I’d just revealed and addressed my brother. I watched Lexi smile at him in easy acceptance. Levi blushed and nodded his head. As Lexi shook his hand, the edge of Levi’s bottom lip sucked in like he always did when he was nervous.
I bent down to Lexi and laid a grateful kiss on her head. I was thankful she was being kind to my brother, but more thankful to God that knowing another element of my fucked-up past, she hadn’t cut her losses and run.
“Yeah, I am. Who… who are you?” Levi asked Lexi quietly, and I moved out of the way to shut us in the privacy of the trailer and away from prying eyes.
As I watched my fourteen-year-old brother stumble and sputter his introduction, my chest filled with regret. This kid before me was dealing coke. This nervous, bumbling kid was out on the streets, selling snow to junkies. Putting his young life on the line so Mamma could live pain free.
Everything about his life, this life, was so fuckin’ wrong, and I had no idea how the hell to fix it for him.
“My name’s Lexi,” Pix answered and let go of his hand.
Levi looked over Pix’s head to me, then back again, that same damn blush coating his cheeks. Levi wasn’t like Axel. He wasn’t full of confidence, arrogant or rude, thinking he could take on anyone no matter how strong. He wasn’t like me, all jaded, angry at the whole fuckin’ world, and pessimistic to the nth degree. Levi was a thinker; he was quiet, barely saying a word if he wasn’t forced to. Preferred to listen and learn than be the center of attention. He had more natural athletic ability than anyone I’d ever known. And he was smart. Real fuckin’ smart. And because we needed coin for Mamma to live the rest of her days in relative comfort, he was forced to work the streets and put himself in harm’s way.
“Are you… Austin’s girlfriend?”
My breath paused at Levi’s sudden question as I waited for what Pix would say. When only silence followed, I felt my stomach fall into that empty pit of disappointment.
Levi looked to me. “Is she, Aust? She your girl?”
Walking toward the two, I placed my hands on Levi’s shoulders and said, “She’s my Pix. That’s all you need to know.”
I saw Levi frown in confusion at my answer but heard the quick inhale of Lexi’s breath behind me, and I turned to see a sweet, stunned expression on her face.
That satisfied whisper of happiness right there made my whole fuckin’ life. Chest cracked, heart exposed—whole fuckin’ life.
“Austin?” My mamma’s barely-there voice drifted from the direction of the bedroom, and as always, I instantly felt weak. I wasn’t a twenty-one-year-old gangbanger and potential NFL player at this moment. I was a helpless young kid whose mamma was slowly dying. Seeing Mamma worsen by the day was completely killing me.
“Si, Mamma. Sono qui. I’ll be through with your meds in just a minute,” I shouted back, then lowered my voice once again. “What the hell happened tonight, Lev? You’re a fuckin’ mess.”
For the first time since we walked in, I took a real look at all of Levi’s face. Gritting my teeth, I put my fingers below his chin and lifted his lowered head. His whole right cheek was red and grazed, his skin caked with dried blood.